Living in Chagsha as a British husband with Changsha wife

Living in Chagsha as a British husband with Changsha wife - What can I do?
Dec 14, 2011 17:24
guest19248	Hi all, I'm a British husband of Changsha, Chinese wife. We have one young son and my wife is pregnant with our second child. Basically we have a relatively successful business in the UK but recently my wife has become more homesick and is currently visiting family in Changsha. My first priority is for my wife to be happy so we are considering moving long term to her home city. I have a few concerns which some cannot be answered here however I would be interested to hear of anyone else who has similar experiences and actually made the move to China, good or bad. My main concerns are that my family currently live a good life in the UK, although the business takes much of my time, we need for nothing and live a stable, financially free existent. Personally I have also built a good network here and if I made the move would need to start from scratch, although I did this here in China it could be far more difficult. I hear of most British/US husbands moving to China with their wife and getting jobs teaching English but I'm used to running a business, not working for others plus the salary drop would be considerable to say the least. We are toying with the idea of running our staff and business from China via email, skype, etc but I worry that this will not work long term as our business is fairly hands on. My question is have any of you guys faced the same problems? How did you overcome them, if at all? We have good long term assets in UK which are not easy to manage long distance and although we have a very good cash pot I have no idea what I can actually do in China as I feel I would easily drift into depression should I just rely on their family or take a regular job. I also worry that although my son is mixed and currently adored by local Chinese he will find it difficult to grow up in a city where he will truly be a minority token foreigner. Me and my wife are below 30 yrs old which will also probably make me feel uncomfortable in the "ex-pat" community. I don't want to teach English or start an English School, neither to I want to try doing import export on a small scale. Ideas very welcome! Regards, D

Living in Chagsha as a British husband with Changsha wife - What can I do?

Dec 14, 2011 17:24

guest19248

Hi all,
I'm a British husband of Changsha, Chinese wife. We have one young son and my wife is pregnant with our second child. Basically we have a relatively successful business in the UK but recently my wife has become more homesick and is currently visiting family in Changsha. My first priority is for my wife to be happy so we are considering moving long term to her home city.
I have a few concerns which some cannot be answered here however I would be interested to hear of anyone else who has similar experiences and actually made the move to China, good or bad.
My main concerns are that my family currently live a good life in the UK, although the business takes much of my time, we need for nothing and live a stable, financially free existent. Personally I have also built a good network here and if I made the move would need to start from scratch, although I did this here in China it could be far more difficult.
I hear of most British/US husbands moving to China with their wife and getting jobs teaching English but I'm used to running a business, not working for others plus the salary drop would be considerable to say the least. We are toying with the idea of running our staff and business from China via email, skype, etc but I worry that this will not work long term as our business is fairly hands on.
My question is have any of you guys faced the same problems? How did you overcome them, if at all?
We have good long term assets in UK which are not easy to manage long distance and although we have a very good cash pot I have no idea what I can actually do in China as I feel I would easily drift into depression should I just rely on their family or take a regular job.
I also worry that although my son is mixed and currently adored by local Chinese he will find it difficult to grow up in a city where he will truly be a minority token foreigner. Me and my wife are below 30 yrs old which will also probably make me feel uncomfortable in the "ex-pat" community.
I don't want to teach English or start an English School, neither to I want to try doing import export on a small scale.
Ideas very welcome!
Regards,
D

Dec 17, 2011 21:53	#1
GUEST04629	Let her go home at least once a year. Maybe she will not be so happy as you think if you all move to China. My wife no longer desires going back home to live. Just my 2cents

Dec 19, 2011 09:42

GUEST31188

Your ideas, estimates and observations are right on, especially considering your age. Things could have much different for you if you were retired.

My Chinese wife goes to her hometown every year, but is always very excited to come back to the US. It's the new vs. the old. The 6 to 8 weeks she spends catching up with family and old friends cures her longings and she doesn't miss China that bad anymore.

All of a sudden she notices things about life in China she paid no attention to before. Some of them: congestion, pollution, traffic, high food prices and others.

Your wife is expecting and it's the nesting instinct that's taking over, plus she wants her parents near her in this situation. That's perfectly all right. Tough call.

I know how important it is to devote yourself to the growing business, but try to give the family a little more time. Your boy will need you a lot more now with mom busy with the new baby.

Jan 21, 2012 09:02

GUEST80199

Why don't you give life in China a trial run - say for 1-2 years. That will give you time to see what living there is really like, and will make your wife more comfortable in the early stages of bringing up your second child - with her family around for support.
You could come back to the UK, say every 3-4 months for a couple of weeks to keep an eye on your business, as well as monitoring things from a distance. When you are in China, you can look into possibilities of work there or maybe setting up in business.
If you really love the life there - after 2-3 years you could sell up the business and use property rental in the UK as income in China. The cost of living is lower there. and if you rent, it can be much cheaper.
Long term, you will probably get fed up and homesick, so you may want to come back for a month or so once a year. But remember, the grass IS always greener on the other side. So you need to keep your perspectives clear.
You are young, so I'd say give it a try. It will get harder as you get older - especially for your kids. I'ts good for them to get used to the idea of moving from an early age if it is likely to happen for them at some time in their lives anyway...

Mar 19, 2012 04:48

GUEST38121

I am a Japanese having a Chinese wife from Dalian. We married in Shanghai, and moved Hong Kong with 3 years old daughter and stayed in the region more than 5 years up to now. My HQ in Tokyo is now asking me to move to Changsha from this summer, as they would open the new branch there. As I have never been there, and my daughter seems to enjoy the English speaking Nursery in Hong Kong, I'm really wondering if I accept new assignment in Changsha or just ask my boss to move back to Tokyo. I just don't mind going anywhere as long as my wife and daughter can enjoy the life, and my daughter can find a kindergarten or any schools as she enjoys in Hong Kong. I'm grateful if you can advise me whether you think how you feel your decision moved back to Changsha with your family.

Oct 4, 2014 17:07

GUEST15084

Did you ever make it to Changsha? i am considering such a move from the UK too. but I may end up in HK. Mt GF lives in Changsha and I do not know if she woukd ever contemplate living outside China. We cannot get married due to parental concerns about our age gap and unless married living outside China on a LT basis will be difficult fr her to achieve. In fact is will be harder for her to move to HK than me. I love China and really embrace all the hustle and bustle. I do not think I would ever miss England - although I do have a house in France. The real challenge is learning mandarin - let alone cantonese.

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