Marriage too risky to be happy in China??

Marriage too risky to be happy in China??
Apr 29, 2013 01:44
guest29220	Do you agree with my Aunts point of view? I'm a divorced America, an English teacher, with a son working legally in China, I met a Chinese girl that I want to marry. But my Aunt is try to talk me out of the idea with her reasons below: My Aunt said: Do you see my point about the 50%, you have that 50% ability to take care of a new family, so where does the other 50% of supporting ability come from? Yes, it should and must come from the new wife. Does she make an equal salary to yours, does she have a business, a house, an investment, the ability to take care a family by herself? You’re only risking her life, her family, her career and of course you’re risking your poor little son and a future baby’s life by trying to support a new family with the very little ability that you have. It’s not enough, you don’t have enough, This new girlfriend clearly doesn’t have enough, and China just makes it even more risky due to their strict visa policy. please reconsider, don’t rush into a new marriage, don‘t have a new baby. 1.No visa in China will allow you to stay forever. 2.No guarantee that you can change your job, as it has a time limit. 3.Nor you or her can combined to make enough to survive together on a marriage visa or start a business. 4.Would China always hand a out tourist visa’s to your son??, while you’re on a marriage visa, because your son can’t join your marriage visa as a dependant because he doesn’t have a birth certificate that states he’s born in China or born to a Chinese mom. 5.You must put your son before you and her dreams for true love. 6.Buying a house in China would be like donating clothes to a church, you would always be warmly welcomed to visit the church, but you can’t live in the church. This would destroy any chance you would have to retire someday. Do you want your son to support you, like your ex wife wanted you to support her family? 7.Do you really want to live in fear if one day you had to work illegally? Would those tourist or F business visa’s always be granted to Americans forever, no! They would catch on and stop giving you visa’s! 8.If you’re caught working illegally China will freeze your bank accounts because your bank accounts are under your passport number and there, you lost all of you earnings. 9.While love is wonderful, it doesn’t support a marriage on 50%. 10.Stress and pressure and will only grow and grow, it’s not healthy to anyone!

Apr 29, 2013 01:44

guest29220

Do you agree with my Aunts point of view?

I'm a divorced America, an English teacher, with a son working legally in China, I met a Chinese girl that I want to marry. But my Aunt is try to talk me out of the idea with her reasons below:

My Aunt said: Do you see my point about the 50%, you have that 50% ability to take care of a new family, so where does the other 50% of supporting ability come from? Yes, it should and must come from the new wife. Does she make an equal salary to yours, does she have a business, a house, an investment, the ability to take care a family by herself?

You’re only risking her life, her family, her career and of course you’re risking your poor little son and a future baby’s life by trying to support a new family with the very little ability that you have. It’s not enough, you don’t have enough, This new girlfriend clearly doesn’t have enough, and China just makes it even more risky due to their strict visa policy.

please reconsider, don’t rush into a new marriage, don‘t have a new baby.

1.No visa in China will allow you to stay forever.

2.No guarantee that you can change your job, as it has a time limit.

3.Nor you or her can combined to make enough to survive together on a marriage visa or start a business.

4.Would China always hand a out tourist visa’s to your son??, while you’re on a marriage visa, because your son can’t join your marriage visa as a dependant because he doesn’t have a birth certificate that states he’s born in China or born to a Chinese mom.

5.You must put your son before you and her dreams for true love.

6.Buying a house in China would be like donating clothes to a church, you would always be warmly welcomed to visit the church, but you can’t live in the church. This would destroy any chance you would have to retire someday. Do you want your son to support you, like your ex wife wanted you to support her family?

7.Do you really want to live in fear if one day you had to work illegally? Would those tourist or F business visa’s always be granted to Americans forever, no! They would catch on and stop giving you visa’s!

8.If you’re caught working illegally China will freeze your bank accounts because your bank accounts are under your passport number and there, you lost all of you earnings.
9.While love is wonderful, it doesn’t support a marriage on 50%.

10.Stress and pressure and will only grow and grow, it’s not healthy to anyone!

May 1, 2013 04:19	#1
GUEST88245	thats unfortunately the reality

May 1, 2013 05:51	#2
IANQI Points: Join Date: Feb 2, 2012 Status: Offline	2 comments: 1) Your Aunt seems to have an amazing insight to current and future China. 2) are you really a teacher of English ?

May 1, 2013 21:32	#3
GUEST40882	There is a Chinese saying:杞人忧天，which means the man of Qi who feared that the sky might fall one day. Where can you find a women to marry, so that you can stay awway from supproting the family, taking care of the baby, facing stress from work etc?

May 5, 2013 13:56

GUEST91138

These are all questions no one else can answer for you.

I personally believe that if you are fortunate enough to find someone to love, and that person loves you, go for it.

This is not a very practical attitude, I know.

If we all waited to marry, buy a house, or have a child until we could afford it...there would not be many married people, new
houses built, or new babies being born!

And there's nothing in life that's certain (other than death and
taxes, as someone famous once said!).

Many cultures think marrying for love is just downright silly.

I don't think love is silly at all.

Best of luck, whichever you choose. Choose what's best for you, as in "follow your heart". Your aunt sounds wise and practical!

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