Are you always the compromiser?

Are you always the compromiser?
Aug 15, 2013 02:17
guest0654	Do you quarrel with your girlfriend or wife? If so, who is the first one to make a compromise? I have been with my girlfriend for three years. Every time we quarrel, I am the one who apologizes and seeks for the make-up no matter it’s my fault or not. The day before yesterday, we had a fierce quarrel. We didn’t say a word to each other for 24 hours. Yesterday morning, I planned to make a compromise and make up with her. However, I changed my mind after reading her tweets on her Twitter. She wrote “Me, her boyfriend, is a piece of junk.” To be honest, I felt heartbroken. I never thought that she could compare me to a piece of junk. Previously, when we quarreled, I never said any dirty word to her. I always believe that some words should never be spoken out, for example, “break-up”. If a lover speaks “break-up” every time they quarrel, I am pretty sure that they will break up at last. When you speak it for the first time, she/he might not care about it. However, she/he will take it seriously if you speak it many times. Her words make me feel that all I have done for her is worthless. I am worthless to her too. My friends comfort me that my girlfriend just wrote it when she was angry. “It doesn’t make any sense. When people get angry, their IQ is zero. Your girlfriend’s IQ was zero when she wrote that sentence. You shouldn’t have taken it seriously. As a man, you should have a broad mind.”, said he. I know that his words make sense. But I still feel uncomfortable. I make compromise every time because I love her. Why can’t she take notice of all the efforts I have done? I am a bit tired.

Aug 15, 2013 02:17

guest0654

Do you quarrel with your girlfriend or wife? If so, who is the first one to make a compromise? I have been with my girlfriend for three years. Every time we quarrel, I am the one who apologizes and seeks for the make-up no matter it’s my fault or not. The day before yesterday, we had a fierce quarrel. We didn’t say a word to each other for 24 hours. Yesterday morning, I planned to make a compromise and make up with her. However, I changed my mind after reading her tweets on her Twitter. She wrote “Me, her boyfriend, is a piece of junk.”

To be honest, I felt heartbroken. I never thought that she could compare me to a piece of junk. Previously, when we quarreled, I never said any dirty word to her. I always believe that some words should never be spoken out, for example, “break-up”. If a lover speaks “break-up” every time they quarrel, I am pretty sure that they will break up at last. When you speak it for the first time, she/he might not care about it. However, she/he will take it seriously if you speak it many times.

Her words make me feel that all I have done for her is worthless. I am worthless to her too. My friends comfort me that my girlfriend just wrote it when she was angry. “It doesn’t make any sense. When people get angry, their IQ is zero. Your girlfriend’s IQ was zero when she wrote that sentence. You shouldn’t have taken it seriously. As a man, you should have a broad mind.”, said he.

I know that his words make sense. But I still feel uncomfortable. I make compromise every time because I love her. Why can’t she take notice of all the efforts I have done? I am a bit tired.

Aug 16, 2013 07:57

GUEST92131

If you feel a bit tired now, imagine what will happen when and if you take this relationship to the next level.

You make all the compromises - she will continue expecting them from you. Then she will despise you, mock you, diminish you and lose all respect for you.

Confront her, tell her what you just told the entire world. If you feel like you are talking to a stone wall - bolt out and leave. You'll find someone better.

Aug 18, 2013 22:23	#2
JIMMYB Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	GUEST0654, No matter whose fault it is, both sides are losers in the quarrel. Just leave her alone for some time and then choose an opportunity to have a serious talk with her if you still want to maintain the relationship.

Aug 21, 2013 00:44	#3
REDMOND28 Points: Join Date: Aug 20, 2013 Status: Offline	A relationship is about equals. You embrace your partner's qualities as well as flaws. And yes, using social media to criticize is so wrong in my opinion. Once it has all cooled down, sit with her and have a proper conversation and be man enough to give your side of how you feel as well. If she truly wants to be with you, she will make an effort to understand.

Aug 21, 2013 01:17	#4
GUEST0654	Thank you, guys. We have already made up. This time, I didn't apologize to her. I did talk to her but she didn't listen to me carefully. But I feel that she has changed a little bit. However, she never said "Sorry" to me. I don't want to talk it anymore. I have decided to avoid quarrels with her. If we have conflicts again, I won't quarrel no matter it's my fault or not.

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