Are Chinese people hypocritical?

Are Chinese people hypocritical?
Feb 7, 2014 20:45
guestkingsley	I am a South Africa who studies Chinese at a university in Beijing. I have been here for six months and have made friends with some Chinese guys. Once a Chinese friend invited me to celebrate the Dragon Boat Festival with his families. It’s my first time that I had been to visit a Chinese’s home. I know that Chinese people eat rice dumplings during this festival. So I bought a box of rice dumplings to my friend. When I knocked at the door, his dad opened the door and invited me in. He saw the rice dumplings in my hands. Then he took the rice dumplings and said “你太客气了，人来就好了干嘛还带粽子啊 (You are very kind. We are happy that you came to our home. It’s unnecessary for you to bring us the rice dumplings) ”. I froze there and didn’t know what to do because I couldn’t understand what he meant. Didn’t he like me and my rice dumplings? If so, why did he smile? If he thought I shouldn’t have brought the rice dumplings, why did he take them over from my hands? I told this to my Chinese friend after lunch. He laughed loudly and said “Take it easy. It’s a part of Chinese etiquette. Chinese people don’t accept the gifts immediately. They pretend to refuse but finally accept the gifts. It’s an old tradition. In fact, my dad was happy to have your rice dumplings.” If I brought a gift to my friends in South Africa, they will accept it immediately and say “Thank you”. Chinese people and foreigners react differently when someone sends them a gift. Yes, it’s a tradition. But I still can’t understand why they didn’t take the gift and say “Thank you”. Are they hypocritical?

Feb 7, 2014 20:45

guestkingsley

I am a South Africa who studies Chinese at a university in Beijing. I have been here for six months and have made friends with some Chinese guys. Once a Chinese friend invited me to celebrate the Dragon Boat Festival with his families. It’s my first time that I had been to visit a Chinese’s home. I know that Chinese people eat rice dumplings during this festival. So I bought a box of rice dumplings to my friend. When I knocked at the door, his dad opened the door and invited me in. He saw the rice dumplings in my hands. Then he took the rice dumplings and said “你太客气了，人来就好了干嘛还带粽子啊 (You are very kind. We are happy that you came to our home. It’s unnecessary for you to bring us the rice dumplings) ”.

I froze there and didn’t know what to do because I couldn’t understand what he meant. Didn’t he like me and my rice dumplings? If so, why did he smile? If he thought I shouldn’t have brought the rice dumplings, why did he take them over from my hands?

I told this to my Chinese friend after lunch. He laughed loudly and said “Take it easy. It’s a part of Chinese etiquette. Chinese people don’t accept the gifts immediately. They pretend to refuse but finally accept the gifts. It’s an old tradition. In fact, my dad was happy to have your rice dumplings.”

If I brought a gift to my friends in South Africa, they will accept it immediately and say “Thank you”. Chinese people and foreigners react differently when someone sends them a gift.

Yes, it’s a tradition. But I still can’t understand why they didn’t take the gift and say “Thank you”. Are they hypocritical?

Mar 7, 2014 09:16	#1
GUEST92131	"Are they hypocritical?" Not any more than other nationalities. You are being over sensitive. Also, being a guest in a local home for the first time, just relax, study their traditions, habits, and don't pass judgement. But be glad you've brought the gift. Imagine what would have happened if you didn't.

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