|how to keep a international marriage for long? honest and trust are enough?|
|Mar 7, 2019 05:24 |
|guest49199 ||how to keep a international marriage for long? honest and trust are enough? |
i am a chinese lady, had an international marriage. i think i used all my heart loving the man i was with, but because of his past history which i didn't care at all mattered and drew and end to the one i thought the man i would spend rest of my life. i didn't find culture difference, understanding, language's differences were the problem. honest and trust are so important parts to me, but because of his past unknown experiences in his young age he has no ability to trust anyone including me, and our just few months' old kid, and even his own parent he has no trust in them!... how horrible the situation was if the man with no ability to trust you.
slowly after the separating a while i knew much more about his past and the truth which i didn't care at all when with him (even after knowing the truths if that time before our marriage he would have told me these past and truths from him i would still understand and accept him still), those pasts caused so such big impact on him, which now i think the main reason caused the big differences in us, in our THOUGHTS! slowly i realized what leads the thoughts differences is the SPIRIT caused all of these.
so to those international lovers, if we want a long lasting marriage life, before going into a serious marriage, please make sure you have the ability to trust the one you are going to marry with, and the same belief (believes on any, i.e. love, words ...), and importantly better make sure your spirits are the same or you understanding and respect each other's difference spirits, either from religion or belief saying each other know it in advance and accept/change/adapt to a same belief. these facts really will matter the future marriage life, no matter how much loving with each other.
i am not the success example yet but i am pretty sure these facts matter in a marriage life. and i believe the one is somewhere waiting for me.
international marriage are not easy, as a chinese lady (with international minded, welly traveled and lived, experienced/saw the many different cultures), i would like to give foreign guys how most chinese women like:
1. if she has high education and you are in love with her, communication no problem at all, she is a nice lady and you better be open to her, she will be appreciate your past mostly; either accept or reject or don't care mostly they will react quickly;
2. if she has no specific religion mostly her/her family worship in the specific festival/days are mainly to their ancestors (or for wish good luck fortune things which is not matter at all for a marriage.); if she has religion, better know about it too. there few are Buddism and christian(mostly are protestant).
i guess the BEING HONEST, STRONG COMMON BELIEF, THOUGHTS UNDERSTANDING, SPIRITS UNDERSTANDING, these are the MATTERS in any long last marriage relationship.
good luck! thanks for the reading.maybe not all correct.