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Marry The Man You Love or Love The Man You Marry.
Oct 14, 2005 21:39
  • TERRYSPYYDER
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The first part of the statement is a ideal situation. It should always be the case for everyone. Marry the person that we love. The second part of the statement is a bit tricky. But it does hold true in olden times and also in some modern-day culture. This is where match-making is practised. There may be other reasons for these marriages too. However it is still possible to try and love the person that we marry. What do you think?
Oct 14, 2005 23:52
#1  
  • CALIFORNIA
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Haha,Terryspyyder,I haven't married!So I think I have no competence to answer your question.But I will marry with a girl I love!!!
Oct 15, 2005 02:25
#2  
  • ETHNICEAST
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anyone who travel to china in the hope to marry someone should think carefully, if it is just the girl you marry, that maybe manageable. but like most asian countries, you may not only marry the girl, you have to think about her family members, relatives that she will bring into the picture, especially if she is one who want to marry you and get out of china to seek new life in another country....

Oct 15, 2005 03:19
#3  
  • CALIFORNIA
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I disagree with!!!There were not most asian countries girls want to go out for a new life!Because the new life may be is not good!if you have a good job and life at home,why they choose to go out!!!And for now,I don't think oversea is safe enough!!!
Oct 15, 2005 10:05
#4  
  • JABAROOTOO
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Yes some simple facts ae thee a re many men and women for that matter who cannot find someone in thier own country who can live with them so they, the men come to Asian country to BUY a wife and some of them literally lock them up and treat them pretty badly.
some of these women have been aable to get out of these miserable rea]lationships and sty in thier new countries but many of them would love to go home. Many women think thay can help thier families by going abroad ans maybe sending money home.

As for love the man you marry. There is a famour\s proverb that says
Men love your wives.
And wives Respect your husbands.

If a man is loving his wife it will be easy for her to return his love. But if he does not love his wife then she will find it hard to recipricate and even harder to respect him.

Better to marry for both love and respect.
Oct 15, 2005 10:38
#5  
  • CALIFORNIA
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QUOTE"As for love the man you marry. There is a famour\s proverb that says
Men love your wives.
And wives Respect your husbands."
I think it comes from Bible,am I right,Jabarootoo?and I believe it!
Oct 15, 2005 21:00
#6  
  • ETHNICEAST
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yes, i know many respectable ladies in china who would not marry foreigners and leave the country and the percentage of those who want to go maybe less, still if you are talking, or disagreeing about the reality of ladies who want to marry a foreigner and leave the country, thousands if not tens of thousands have already gone. probably you are aware.
on the other hand, there are those who manage to get the foreign man or women to stay in china with them. i think the idea is that either way you choose to marry a local and have to be prepared for all the complications related to it. so that your marriage will be as you want to biblically put it, for life.
divorce rates in china now is getting very rampantly out of hand and very easily done.
Oct 16, 2005 08:19
#7  
  • ELCABRON
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What is the point of this discussion? Is it about love? Or about money like on a meat market?

I only read "foreigner" "buy a wife" "leave", sounds like you are talking about a Drive-In McDonalds......
Oct 16, 2005 08:27
#8  
  • CALIFORNIA
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Haha,the topic about the marriage:-)

Oct 16, 2005 18:27
#9  
  • SEAGULL
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Elcabron is definitely unaware that in Eastern & South-east Asia there are many girls (mostly village girls) who marry foreigners to get out of the poverty trap. These girls are doing a very honourable thing in helping their families escaped from the harsh world of being poor, very very poor. They marry not for the sake of love. For money? You can say that. Is it wrong? Definitely a big NO. Can they find love thereafter?? Maybe YES maybe NO. I certainly hope they do. That is the question!!! So to Elcabron, this is not a meat market....but the harsh reality of being born poor, very very poor. It's being in a very sad situation. Not a joke like the way Elcabron put it.
Oct 17, 2005 08:54
#10  
  • ELCABRON
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Yes, Im "unaware" of that, I live in Utopia behind the moon called lululand.

I doubt that you understood the meaning of those to little sentences in the post before.....or you try to turn around things on purpose.
Of course things like that happen - not only in SEA, but all over the world. And even on this board there are some weird questions from time to time - check out my answers to them and you know better what I think of that.

But I dont like generalizing and talks like "everybody who comes to China to marry someone" and Westerners - buy wife - leave.....plus the afterwards following reaction of hurt national pride of some nationalists (which is more a lack of selfconfidence and often an inferior complex misinterpreted as patriotism, I still dont understand). Safe your breath.

It is all crap!

Oh, the evil long nose white devil is stealing our women.....you should know better! Buying women or marriage where love comes second is much deeper in Chinese society and quite popular among Chinese even before any "devil" ever touched Chinese ground. Have you never seen the old Chinese guys with young girls (not only in discos or bars)? Or paying for a girlfriend for a year.....All for money;-)

Marrying for money is NOT honourable - it is like prostitution. Do you call prostitutes heroines???
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