| Marry The Man You Love or Love The Man You Marry. | |
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| Mar 5, 2006 19:06 | #21   |
 | "Marriage is the tomb of love" was said by a foreigner, not Chinese:-) |
| Mar 5, 2006 19:08 | #22 |
| Now I'm reading a book namely Why Should We Marry. I haven't finish it yet, but I found it's quite reasonable and interesting. It said that the initial idea for marriage is to gestate one's offspring. If u don't marry, you won't know who is your REAL offspring. Also, a steady sex relationship is good for man. |
| Mar 5, 2006 19:10 | #23 |
| I don't know that,I just heard it from my chinese teacher...... But I don't think so!!! |
| Mar 5, 2006 20:54 | #24 |
| May, all the traditional reasons for setting up a family are no more valid in most societies. The new trend of thinking are as follows ;- 1. Marriage means an added responsibility or burden ; having children means having additional responsibility/burden. 2. It's good to have steady sex but not neccessarily with the same 1 partner ! More partners in fact instil more excitement in one's life. Same partnership can become boring after some time. 3. Having children is no more something of an honour/family pride ; it can turn out to be a heavy liability when children cannot meet parents' expectation and hope in every aspect. Instead having children tax on the parents' financial and mental capabilities. Most of parents' efforts are concentrated on their children that they don't have time/finance to enjoy themselves. They only enjoyment : seeing the children grow up to become useful adults. But what a price to pay. There is also no guarantee that the children will/can look after the parents when they grow old and sick. 4. No continuation of family tree is no more critical with globalisation & inter-marraiges, etc. So live on and fall in love. Enjoy the process but not burdened with the consequence. Don't get married !! |
| Mar 5, 2006 20:59 | #25 |
| That sounds like a "the Declaration of A bachelor", Pinetree:) |
| Mar 5, 2006 21:18 | #26 |
| Haha, sounds like Excuses of Playboy. I f u love someone, u will surely want to live with her/him. Especially in China, living together means that u have to marry first according to the elder generation. If you are afraid of being 'buried' in the 'marriage tomb', try your best to change the situation! BTW, I admit that the love may vanish someday. Tolerance, patience and responsibility might be hard to more important at that time. It might be hard for us to do so, but I think they are the true meaning of happiness. |
| Mar 5, 2006 21:29 | #27 |
| Am I glad that there are gals who still prize marriage and raising a family. Well, I can't say that for myself. I think here lies the difference between gals with these values and men like me who are not ! Imagine what would happen if I meet and fall in love with a traditional gal like u ? Hahaha !!! PS - the consequence of such a situation : Man may feel compelled to marry but likely marriage will end up in divorce. To certain groups of people, divorce is part & parcel of romance/courtship. Marriage/subseuqnet ddivorce are but short term solutions when the man cannot get out of the consequence of romance. So, in certain societies one sees a high rate of divorces with the womenfolk taking care of the products of romance/marriage. Poor women !! |
| Mar 5, 2006 21:42 | #28 |
| Yes, some women are still tradition. Is it a bad thing? I don't think so. And of course, marry or not depends on both sides. No one will force another guy to do sth he don't like. 强扭的瓜不甜! And also, the earth is still circling even you divorced. But treasure the marriage and family now is not a fault! PS: I'm not sure whether I would love u or not but I'm sure I won't marry you. |
| Mar 5, 2006 21:46 | #29 |
| hahaha, May !! Don't be sensitive. It was just an example. Of cos we won't meet, fall in love and get married for sure. Don't worry. |
| Mar 5, 2006 22:32 | #30 |
| Haha, pinetree, I'm not worrying. I'm just kiding. Maybe my sense of humor is not good LoL |
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