| Arranged Marriages | |
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| Dec 30, 2005 22:08 |   |
 | An American coworker is engaged to marry a Chinese woman he met on a marriage site and I've noticed there are many marriage agencies for this purpose in China. I mentioned this to a friend who has traveled extensively and she didn't think anything of it. I know it is common in India to have parents select spouses for children, and it is accepted as a natural custom, but it appears in China many women are willing to accept marriages with 'hope on a promise' and little actual knowledge of who these men are. There seems an attitude of "Let's marry and work the details out later." Any comments. |
| Jan 2, 2006 19:05 | #1 |
| <but it appears in China many women are willing to accept marriages with 'hope on a promise' and little actual knowledge of who these men are.> What era exactly are you talking about? |
| Jan 7, 2006 02:54 | #2 |
| Rita..what the person is saying is: Some Chinese women out here are seeking marriages out of practical risk like financial dependence, relocation, new life. Lets accept the true fact that it does apply to almost all asian countries as well. not only with chinese women.be fair to judge. |
| Jan 7, 2006 03:00 | #3 |
| I think many women are more subjective with their feelings or thinking or perhaps do have a purpose about that especially with marriages that could transform their life as well right? So..do u have more suggestions or ideas? |
| Jan 7, 2006 07:13 | #4 |
| In some facets,it is a social problem! |
| Jan 7, 2006 22:47 | #5 |
| Some Chinese women I have spoken to have used exactly those words: "Let's marry and work the details out later." They have told me that they want to choose a good husband for their future family based on certain conditions like dependability, wealth, projected income, social status - and that love should be developed after marriage. From my life experience and having seen many marriages in my time, I am of the opinion that this is a recipe for disaster! It's not limited to China either - I think this happens a lot in the West too. It does seem to be extremely common here though. |
| Jan 8, 2006 04:56 | #6 |
| I heard many women in Yunnan province have these stories and in some farthest parts of China. Hope they will b happy for what they seek. Not all marriages are made in heaven as they say. To b the right person ONE has to be rightful. |
| Jan 8, 2006 19:53 | #7 |
| How can we hope a person who even can't feed herself and her family to seek a TRUE LOVE but not TRUE WEALTH?? She can change her life only when she chooses a GOOD husband! Poverty & hunger is the cradle of it!! |
| Jan 9, 2006 01:38 | #8 |
| However, a long engagement might b advisable..if one chooses to be patient i think. One can seek out relatives,neighbors,friends of the person. or perhaps if havent had time for all this..try a detective as it is now VERY popular. or if ur smitten well..take the risk..after all, it goes two to tango..agree with me people? |
| Jan 9, 2006 02:47 | #9 |
| The economic benefits for Asian and/or third world women who take a foreign husband is huge. In the case of a Country girl taking a foreign husband. Lets say an American. She would be more likely able to provide for the long-term wealth of her family - eg; To buy a family home in rural China would cost US$5000 - most westerners owe this on their credit card bill! Remember this is China. The majority of people are still of the mind set that family-comes-first. All the girls i talk to here want to take care of their family - Their number one priority. Then work on personal gain with children in mind. However, I'm in Chongqing. I'm sure in more westernised cities values are changing. Selfishness and materialism has is yet to rear its ugly head in many respects. If you keep these simple facts in mind and accommodate them. Then my personal view is a Chinese girl would make a good wife. But, remember girls will be girls, and in some respects where ever in the world you are the values they hold are relatively the same... Only the price tag is a little lower. I'm all for made in China - you will get more bang for your buck! Personaly i find the girls here sweet and friendly and unlike the west i go out of my way to help any one who with a friendly smile - unlike western women who seem to have lost this ability. Just get in before they slap on an import tariff. On the other hand if you are an idealist looking for love then keep looking, i wish you the very best - If you find perfection anywhere you will be lucky man or woman. B) |
| Jan 10, 2006 03:10 | #10 |
| The richness of culture and special occasions makes the asian families warm and family-oriented. Whereas in some western countries it seems to be lacking in its true sense whre the family itself seems to alienate from one another. As it is often called being independent. |
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