| a chinese girlfriend or wife?? | |
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| Aug 12, 2006 03:13 |   |
 | hi guys i ususlly can see some foreigners walking on the street with a chinese girl accompanying her. at first, i was surprised, wondering how they got to know each other and how they fell in love desiptes the obstacles of languages and cultural differences. are you willing to marry a chinese girl or boy? hehe |
| Aug 12, 2006 08:05 | #1 |
| it's said that for love "height can not b distance,age can not b difference,gender can not b proble.":)joking.but i don't think that u can decide who you should or should not love.it's love. there is a story that have been covered much in china last year.a black man studying in china fell in love with a chinese woman on the street for the first sight.he introduced himself to her immediately.she can't speak english but he can speak chinese.the woman's hausband has died and she and her son were living with his husband's parents then.finally the black man moved into the family and they married.it seemed that they led a poor but happy life.a good story. i think. if u r interested,i recommend u WANG ANYI's "i love bill",a good novel telling a girl who "is not prepared for chinese men but foreign men". to me,difference is difference. |
| Aug 13, 2006 01:31 | #2 |
| There are many beautiful girls in China... there must be there are so many girls (and boys). Many are very friendly and easy to meet so it is not surprising many friendships will develop. In some areas though, it does seem the girls find some status in have a western boyfriend (or husband)and in reality they will often enjoy a better lifestyle. many are also lured by the possibility of moving overseas...so yes there are opportunities for romance for western men. Are they real? Yes generally, I think so...as our friend said earlier, age and looks are not as important as in the west.... I know that more young ladies will chat to me here than at home...where I would simply be an 'old fart'. And no I do not have a Chinese girlfriend. But the boys here do not generally seem to be as attracted to western girls and vice versa. My Chinese friends tell me western women are too demanding, and as they want a wife they can dominate, they want Chinese girls. I consider myself piviliged to have Chinese female friends who pay me so much attention!! Maybe there will be a special one oneday! |
| Aug 16, 2006 17:54 | #3 |
| Of course I am willing to marry a Chinese woman if one would have me. Language is a difficult obstacle and I imagine there are vast cultural differences I cannot fully understand. ...but in the final analysis, you still have to like the gal and she has to like you. I am not interested in the American women who want to dominate, belittle, and besmirch men; sadly that happens much too often these days. If I could find a respectable American woman, I would be interested, but they are very rare. I very much appreciated the attention my Chinese lady friend paid me on my recent trip. While she might have outwardly appeared submissive, trust me when I tell you that she is a feisty gal who cannot be dominated. ...and that's fine with me because I believe a successful relationship requires patience and partnership. |
| Aug 16, 2006 20:46 | #4 |
| hi guys, it seems that most chinese women in your opinions are vitous, genial and understanding. do you think that japanese women obey their husbands more than chinese women? as more and more chinese girls receive higher education, they became independent and ambitious. maybe, one day, chinese man will complain: there is no traditional chinese women left, and they all bacame so dominate. how to keep men's status? haha !  |
| Aug 16, 2006 20:51 | #5 |
| In fact,chinese man complaining now,haha:-) |
| Aug 16, 2006 21:09 | #6 |
| Education is one thing, the femineity is another. I can't say I agree that education is something to make women lose their feminine side and to replace it with domination and impenetrable shrew. Education is to widen people's (not only women's, but all the human beings) eyes, to help us with setting a positive outlook of life and to better orient ourselves to the right (or better) position in the family life and society. If being independent in a woman is a state of mind rather than her financial position in a marriage, this woman is more likeable, because the financial status is more likely to change (volatile:D) than the state of mind. |
| Aug 16, 2006 21:26 | #7 |
| I guess those who complain are crying for obedient women ( or brainless??), NOT traditional women, being obedient only does not make a traditional wife. Traditional Chinese women are UNDERSTANDING (which is based on knowledge), Kind (based on keeping a low profile in a marriage or social life ), PATIENT and TOLERANT (based on appropriate confidence), and RESPECTING and KNOWING how to take care of their men's pride and amour-propre.... NONE of the above can be possibly ruined by education. |
| Aug 17, 2006 03:13 | #8 |
| Good comments, Rita. There is a price to opening up and coming into contact with other cultures. Education does also play a part in opening up oneself. Undoubtedly, there will be inputs from all quarters and one will be affected somehow. If what the westerner members are right in their views, then it is better not to be so influenced !! So far, our Chinese gals are gooood - as galfriends or wives !! |
| Aug 18, 2006 02:08 | #9 |
| great comments, pinetree anyway, the word globalization seems to be suitable to describe everything happening today. girls today learn three obediences(obedience to one's father before marriage, to one's husband after marriage, and to one's son after husband's death) and virtues (morality,, proper speech, modest manner, and diligent work )from books for funny or understanding of their country's deep culture. a chinese or a local wife, it all depends on your choice, destiny or fortune?? |
| Oct 25, 2007 06:09 | #10 |
| GUESTGL | If indeed chinese men seek to dominate (and that's why they are not interested in western women), that's a road to nowhere for them. I'm amazed how much in Chinese society (from top to bottom) just goes around power and control rather than cooperation and common good. I personally have a Chinese girlfriend since 2003 and she's my fiancee now. She's a wonderful person and great partner and I'm extremely happy that I found her, but it's true that i still occasionally see some 'remnants' of Chinese mentality in a sense of viewing things from 'power/control' perspective (though once I tell her it being ridiculous, she always says sorry and never insists). I think avoiding such concepts is a crucial milestone for China (and many other societies) to achieve, if they wish any long-term success. I agree that (although it might just be a stereotype) western women after often too demanding and a bit self-overvaluing, particularly from the experience I had. And as it is in our case, I guess that most western man / chinese woman couples get together because of desire to have nice, supporting, and understanding relationship - on one hand without putting giving too much demands on each other, and on the other - without desire for power and control. I guess that as such cases increase with time and globalization, the advocates of power/control as well as unjustifiably demanding people will have to understand that in order to succeed in the 'evolutionary stuggle', they have to change these qualities of theirs. |
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