| Why DO expats work in China | |
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| Nov 19, 2006 02:44 | #41   |
 | Assuming (as some people do) that the men who advertise for a female companion want sex, maybe it's safe to assume that they want to pay for that service as well as the other services they advertise for, which some people seem to think is ok. Or maybe they assume (as some people do) that the girl will also know that they want sex and therefore they wouldn't be taking advantage of anyone, which would make it a mutual agreement, which I think we can all agree is ok. Or maybe they just like the company of females over males (as some people do). Or maybe they just want to take advantage of the innocent and helpless Chinese girls who probably don't even realise that men like sex... |
| Nov 19, 2006 02:57 | #42 |
| And I agree with everything KINJIM said. It's not just Chinese people going for foreigners for stupid reasons, guys go for beautiful girls that're *** , girls go for ugly guys with lots of money (and the other way around) and Chinese people don't like Japanese people because they're Japanese and like western people because they're from the west (stereotyping to make a point). It's a based-on-appearances-stereotyping thing. But I disagree that "money is the most important thing". Have you heard the saying "money doesn't buy happiness"? Money is important but if you're married to a rich arsehole are you going to be more happy than if you were married to a nice guy on a lower wage? |
| Nov 19, 2006 05:33 | #43 |
| I don't really know who to reply to. I have read the comments, and I am distressed that there is so much hostility. I can understand how some might feel upset that foreigners are given preferential treatment for jobs teaching English. I'm sure there are many many Native Chinese who can speak and write English as well or better than some of the Native English speakers. I am disappointed that noone seems to think that it is at all possible that at least some of the westerners who come to China and meet Chinese women might actually want to find someone to love, honor, cherish (marry) until death. I am such a man. I don't know a great deal about Chinese culture, but what I have learned fascinates me. However, I looked to the east to find someone to love. I don't know why, but I am not quite a western male (culturally) and I'm not eastern either. I am somewhere in between. Western women have never been interested in me, and I have gradually lost interest in them. I have found that Chinese women are more accepting of me as I am, and I value them for who they are. I am fortunate to have met the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love her. It will take time, but it will be worth it. We probably will live in America, but it is not yet certain. I hope I have not offended anyone here. |
| Nov 19, 2006 07:34 | #44 |
| I really do think money is most important thing in China. As long as you have money in China to spend and tavel, you are very well of, sod the idea of happiness and true love. It rarely or no longer exists in China. Why do you see young women with men many years their senior ? Is this love ?It is a very realistic and materialistic life here. I have no complaints against foreigners here, some are nice people looking for true love and I sympathise with those that cannot fid love oin their home country and seek this in China for example. But what I do not envy are those arrogant expats who think they are God and women will fall over their feet for them. Many expats are single here and for reasons cited. They come here and treat the place like some whore house. I think they could at least respect the people and place, but this is unlikely. On the other hand you have the demand, the expats and the supply side you have the women here. This is a shame and is one reason why some foreigners still look down on Chinese people. please check out www.shanghaiexpat.com, look at the many many topis on love and relationship, personal section. It very much explains the situation. Do you know what is the difference between westerners and Chinese ? The colour of the skin. All this stereotyping that westerners are more handsome, richer, kinder, romantic is no different than Chinese. You can just as well find that Chinese people are the same as westerners. Those Chinese woman who "specifically: only date westerners are living in a deluded life. They live in their own fantasy world whereby once they get their western bf or husband, everything will be fine for ever from now on. This is highly naive and ignorant. There exists many of this type in China, especially Beijing and Shanghai. Of course, there are many expats here looking for true love and not players, I wish them well but the reputation of expats are that they are players. This is a genuine and truthful statement. On the otherhand, you have the gold digging women which have given Shanghai women as being money grabbing sluts. This also is true statement. In fact, I would say the majority of males who come here looking for girls either as part of their process of living in China. Expats may start of with good intention and behaviour when they first arrive but they can easily turn bad just by the attention given to them by the sluts and that they want to "enjoy" life in ways they could not have done so in their home country. ALl in all, nobody force us to do anything, you decide whether you want to take the bait and catch the fish. There are players on both parties. The only losers are those with the good intention of seeking true love whjo end being cheated , one night love or money. |
| Nov 21, 2006 00:36 | #45 |
| Sorry Pinetree about mis-remembering what I thought you had said about visas. And I have never had a problem with visas either.. I doid not understand the strange system whereby as an ex teacher I was expected to leave the mainland to get a tourist visa to come and see the country I had been waiting 10 months to see, and to spend the money I had earned here. I still find this odd, but as with most things I rationalise it by saying that things are changing so fast there are bound to be some anomalies. But I have to take issue with you about the the phrase you used "...could encourage another to continue advertising for free bodies in this Forum.." I have never done that, nor have I ever seen anyone place such an advertisement. I do remember a posting some weeks back where someone asked if there was a female who'd like to meet him in some city. As I have said before, when I looked for a friends in Shijiazhuan, I received 3 replies, 2 male 1 female, the two men stopped chatting when it was clear I was a useless business contact. The female became a good friend, but never a girlfriend as neither of us were really looking for that. I also met another lady there and we are also good friends, but I have found it hard to make friends with Chinese men, and in the Guangdong I didn't want to as I don't want to join them in trips to brothels. So in future it is logical that when I head for a new city I should seek female friends - whose company I unashamedly admit I usually enjoy :) Pinetree, please don't condemn us so readily, maybe we aren't as evil as you think! |
| Nov 23, 2006 14:18 | #46 |
| This thread is not one of your shining moments, Pinetree. Your comments make you appear hateful and bitter. I've usually just thought of you as naughty and playful. I am one of those westerners who is planning to come and work in China. Trust me, I'm not coming for the money. 1. Why China ? My mother was fascinated by the Chinese culture and passed that fascination on to me. I am also fond of Chinese philosophy. Living in China for a few years would separate fact from fiction and romance from reality. I've been fortunate to have had several adventures in my life. Living in China for a few years would be another adventure for me, perhaps my last great adventure. 2. Why at this stage of your lives ? I am not getting any younger. 3. Are u really in China for the love of its culture, history, etc, etc ?" Not really. Chinese culture - as I saw it in the 70's - was not much in evidence in Beijing and Shenyang this summer. For the most part, the major cities in China are significantly westernized now. Am I coming for the women? In a way, yes. I've been seriously searching for a mate for about a year without success. There are slim pickin's here in Montana, USA...so why not China? Even as a grade schooler, I thought Chinese girls were very beautiful. When I was lost in Shanghai back in the 70s a young woman in a green Mao suit took my hand and held it through several bus rides until we got back to the river. I was hooked. But you won't find me trying to bed every young girl that comes along. A quick roll in the sack doesn't make a woman a wife; I want a wife. Oh yeah....one more thing, Pinetree, foreign nationals need not travel and live in the United States to take jobs from US workers. Foreign nationals take US jobs every day from their homeland; it is called outsourcing. |
| Nov 23, 2006 21:01 | #47 |
| GRIZ, Yes, I am playful but if readers feel that I am hateful towards such expats, it cannot be for nothing - it is based on what I perceive from the writings here and from my real life experiences. I have promised myself not to write anymore here but let this be the final exception - hahaha ! Let me reiterate the position from my point of view :- 1. I am not objecting to "foreign talents" in anywhere - as long as they can contribute. As I wrote before, I myself was a foreign talent in HK/China too. I just wanted to know the quality of the persons behind the profession - this is the whole point of my inviting further discussion that culminates in the start of this thread by Apault - not really to ask expats to justify their being here, as most don't seem to realise. 2. To me, declaring that the Chinese women love to be ... by these western men is very humiliating - even tho I now must admit that there could be some truth in it. Probably the Chinese members don't feel it. 3. I cannot be sour grape - esp when one doesn't know anything about my background. One cannot assume that there is something in him that I envy so much or at all. By saying this, one can imagine the arrogance of this person & the condescending attitude that such a person carries with him to this country. 4. Invitation to brothels was brought up. Of the 2 evils, it is my opinion that visiting brothels is more honourable than trying to bait maybe some ignorant gals here. Those gals in brothels are professionals providing such a service, earning a living like all of us. So are some of the advertisements by females/agencies here. Expat men who advertise here are not on the same line, are they ? Similarly, coming to China to look for a bride is fine as this is the clear target - no fooling around and no one would be hurt - though there are risks. 5. We know that a lot of western foreigners are playing around. We cannot stop them - tho from what I observe here, some Chinese members do adore them, their culture & hope to attract them as well. But the least the expats can do is to shut up and not encourage such advertisements to continue - esp on this Forum. I like to think that this is a clean and decent Forum. 6. In western countries, "a quick roll in the sand" for free is normal but China is generally still traditional, I believe. There are still a lot of young women who believe in falling in love and getting married & many do not understand the western play. Please don't bait such women. Quick roll with your own kind who understands the rules well. 7. Expats are in foreign land which they are not familiar with. And there will be cultural differences. If you are not sure whether what u wanna say/do is in order, don't say/do it. Find out first. So that encouragement to advertise was out of place. |
| Nov 23, 2006 21:03 | #48 |
| (continue) 8. I don't mind criticisms & differing views. But I do take strong objection to humiliating comments & personal attacks. Maybe I was a little carried away in my outbursts which were in retaliation to what the expats said about the Chinese. I am passionate about China & her people. This is China and I think there should be at least be a certain amount of respect for the Chinese people here. I know you guys will not let any foreigners "humiliate" you in your own country. They would be dead if they do so. We witness Afghanistan & Iran and ..... 9. I am not a China-borne but am still a Chinese. I was/am commenting as a neutral, tho I am inclined to feel more for them. However, I do realise now that what I object to may be acceptable to the Chinese - they have their own agenda which I don't understand too. Thus I shall now not comment further on such matters before I get accused of stirring trouble. 10. For those western expats who are itchying there and want a quick roll in the sand, I can suggest a few options to help them :- (a) Go visit brothels/KTV - if u cannot afford or want to save the money for other purposes (b) Go the those websites that cater for such requests - if u still can't get what u want (c) D.I.Y (自搞) - this is the safest & cheapest mean. Good luck in your endeavour in China, GRZ - we may run into each other there without knowing. And I hope tht you can find the woman you adore there. I have found mine !! PS - Btw, which country started this concept of outsourcing ? |
| Nov 23, 2006 21:10 | #49 |
| On the whole, Chinese women are very serious about love and relationships, I am not saying western women are not serious, but I can say Chinese women attach a greater importance on love life and their partners. THIS you guys may not understand!! Once they decide to "sack out" with you, they will be so devoted to the relatiohship and they think about future and a lot more than you guys could ever imagine. So, no matter how 'mild' you intentions would be, you could still hurt women... And poeple should be careful not to do or talk with the thoughts that you take for granted for your entire life in the western world here in China and appear so 'innocent'. That is not cute! This is not accusation, but sincere advice. |
| Nov 26, 2006 17:34 | #50 |
| Well said, Loveisverb |
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