| How do western guys really think about their Chinese girlfriends | |
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| Sep 17, 2008 07:45 | #51   |
| GUEST12236 | Wow, Im off to china in three weeks to meet a chinese girl I only met for half an hour here in New Zealand, Im wondering if Im doing the right thing now! yeah, we,v e-mailed and chatted, but I wonder if Im just going to be another westerner "free ride out" Im 47 and she,s 41 so maybe thats not too bad, I am having some concerns though!! |
| Sep 18, 2008 16:16 | #52 |
 | Hi to all, first of all also do not think all westerners are same culture, is very different from country to country...just cross the border and go in France....you will find another way to live....cross a little bit again and you will arrive to UK and Germany and things changes so so much..go a little bit more north or east and you are totally in another world....cross the ocean and still things more more different. Here in my place not so many chinese still but the number has raised up so much in these last 10 years. Now about 100.000 chinese here (about 3000 in my city of 650.000 inhabitants). Why lot of "westerners" like chinese ladies? i can found lot of reasons. can be: -we (not all of us) find the chinese face very attractive and beautyful eye shape. -they look to us very femenine -they seems to be very caring, comprehensive and compromised in a relationship (and this have nothing to do with submissive...people do not like to have beside a person with no opinion or that always say "yes"...if you are a mature person with brain) -they seems to be hard worker and people on you can rely on -and still in some countries, like my one. they are exotic and something far from the reality... Chinese people is still a mystery in my country, but i realized that immediately the second generation are completely spaniard (but they still speak chinese too and this is a really good thing)...also here increased the number of chinese adopted babies (second country in the world after Canada in number of adoptions) and when you walk in the street you can find lot of couples with chinese babies......(and i am still so surprised of the economic effort these couples made for adopt these childs when salaries here are so so low, but can be the wish to be father and mother are stronger than any other thing....and is so beautyful too to see that these parents send these babies to chinese language and culture lessons to try they do not lose contact with their roots).... But also we are scary sometimes...about lot of things about chinese ladies too...there is not only the good side: -she loves really you? or your money? -she wants you just for your visa and to have an european passport? -she is just looking for a more comfortable life? and does not care about you? (but this is applicable to any immigrant over here...now extra european population in Spain is close to reach the 15%) I hope love will be the main reason all the time...or life will be so sad and hard! Luckily i am jobless and have not money so...i am not in danger! if somebody want me must to be only because i am as i am! hahahah, anyway with the rampant economic crisis i hope somebody will save us!!....my chinese language book is on the table.....i bought it yesterday and here is so so difficult to find a teacher....hanzi looks so scary jajaja Good Luck to all! and a big salutation to all the friends of the forum. |
| Sep 20, 2008 21:38 | #53 |
| GUEST85185 | hello Alostdia, I read your comments, yes I agree with you on all you say, I can see from what you write that you are pure hearted with faith that there is still such a thing as love, It is very easy to be cynical, but I too beleive there is such a thing, I also beleive that un like the majority of european woman, chinese woman do have the ability to be sincere in the effections, love and devotion to their partners. I wish you luck and happyness my friend...........D |
| Oct 12, 2008 01:55 | #54 |
| GUESTBERT | It is a but silly for someone to say "Chinese women are better or something" than women from country A or B or the Chinese women are better than the women from an entire hemisphere. Been in China myself around 12 years. There are good ones and certainly there are bad ones. This society can be very selfish and conditional. I hope the men posting here can find the right woman but you have to know that sometimes the true desires and feelings of some of these Chinese women won't really show until after they are married. Not all but some. Sometimes people pretend to be open to other ideas or 'cultures' but after they get married they change and demand you change according to their wants and desires. We all need to make sure what we are getting into. I think some people here are writing with about 2 months experience. Just like the newcomer that goes to China and after one or two years loves everything and praises it so much but after 5 or 6 years watch that love affair begin to change! Ever notice a Chinese womans 'shopping' list for a perfect mate? Sometimes it is totally unrealistic. I neither dislike Chinese women nor am I goo goo over them. I am only interested in one compatable mate, no matter where she comes from. |
| Dec 9, 2008 09:17 | #55 |
| GUESTAGNES | you guys are very lucky to meet the wife, I still no luck to meet a nice western guy in my life. |
| Dec 11, 2008 23:20 | #56 |
| GUESTAGNES | you guys are very lucky to have chinese gf or wife... |
| Feb 4, 2009 18:04 | #57 |
| GUEST14440 | #37 you said it all right but you are way too direct  btw i am a chinese girl |
| Feb 19, 2009 21:06 | #58 |
| GUEST09238 | Last May I missed a flight to Beijing and had to wait a few days to get on a different flight. It was my first trip to China from the US. I was nervous traveling myself. I found myself in the middle seat on the airplane with a man who did not speak english on my left and chinese woman on my right. The chinese woman did talk with me when I said hello to her but she was shy and nice. We talked a little and when we landed in Beijing she showed me to the baggage area. Her smile and eyes communicated to me a very nice feeling. I told her if she ever needed help in america please let me know and I gave her my email. A few weeks after my return home she sent me an email and asked about my trip and if I enjoyed the visit (business trip) to china. We sent a few emails and then chatted on line. I found her very nice and her voice so comforting. We met in California (LA) last October, her first trip back to get some paperwork take care of in LA. I helped her get around and we stayed together for a few days. She worked in CA for two years and has a green card. She informed me she was taking a new job in Malaysia and that she would move from her city in China to Kuala Lumpur for 4 years. We continued to talk (calling cards are great as well as on line) and now I will make my second trip to Kuala Lumpur. She made me feel so comfortable and loved when I visited her about two months ago. I am not sure why I missed my flight last May and ended up next to her. She is still getting over a relationship of 4 years and I know she has a broken heart. She is working very hard in Malaysia, long days and traveling often to parts of china and even europe. She tells me she is so tired and wants to stop the hard work and settle down. She has told me she loves a few times. I am 44 and she is 38. . I have found my happiness in that she has allowed me to hold her heart. I am so afraid she will tell me we cannot be together because she is afraid. I will continue to listen to her, she is so nice and so considerate and genuine. I am from a very small town, well educated, have two children and a good job. I am not worried about finances or a rocky future, I know together we can make a good future but I feel she has had such struggles in her life that she is reluctant to fall in love and make a big move. It is very difficult for me to live in the US and talk with her in Malaysia each day (twice a day we talk). We both get along so well and our laughing together feels so nice. How can I continue knowing such a beautiful person with a very tender heart? How do you think she feels when I tell her I would like to take care of her and enjoy a happy life? I work too much and for the first time in many years, I feel so good. I am scared as well. One part of me wants to listen and see what happens and another part of me wants to tell her, I am coming to get you, let's stop the torture. I know I will need energy, patience and understanding. It is so hard. |
| Feb 20, 2009 23:19 | #59 |
| GUEST69106 | Its a little off base to blame westerners for being able to do more,or do less in seeking a mate. the westerners are from many different cultures,even your own people,who went there to become citizens. What makes you believe your culture is really different? |
| Feb 21, 2009 13:04 | #60 |
| GUEST91204 | Be very careful. Most just want money. for their sick parents or a computer so they can keep in touch while you are so far away (haha) or any number of things. The real winners will get a house for all their efforts and then...goodbye. |
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