| How to handle Mid-life Crisis? | |
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| Dec 28, 2007 20:52 | #31   |
 | Best way to handle mid-life crisis? Don't go there..Refuse to grow old. refuse to grow up....I'm 54...I am a responsible adult......I REFUSE to be a grown-up!!! My hair is mostly gray...my garage is full of toys...Live your life with enthusiatic optimism and you will never even see yourself age!!! I still enjoy doing the same things I did when I was a kid, a teenager, a younger adult....I know more now, I have more now, I appreciate the subleties in life more now....but that doesn't make me an old fart and it never will!!! |
| Jan 10, 2008 22:19 | #32 |
| LHAYS1, It is a good way to handle mid-life crisis. " Refuse to grow old". I know your point: keep a "kid's heart" forever. The growth of a person is composed of two parts: physical growth and mental/psychological growth. Some people become a grown-up physically: while they are immature mentally. Here a question for us: is it good or bad for a person to be mentally immature? I have ever heard a dialogue between two ladies : do not marry a mentally immature guy, you won't live a happy life with him. He is kiddish, and he might even rely on you to look after him. What do you think of this issue? |
| Jan 11, 2008 13:16 | #33 |
| He, he, ((keep a "kid's heart" forever)) Why growing up? After all you end up wearing a diaper,,,, again. |
| Jan 11, 2008 22:46 | #34 |
| “Here a question for us: is it good or bad for a person to be mentally immature? I have ever heard a dialogue between two ladies : do not marry a mentally immature guy, you won't live a happy life with him. He is kiddish, and he might even rely on you to look after him. What do you think of this issue?” Here’s my 1 yuan. There are people who, even in choosing a spouse, they want a father or mother figure. They always end up comparing their spouses with their parents. Furthermore, they expect their spouses to act like their father or mother. Seriously, if they want a mother or a father, they should have just remained single and stayed with their parents. LOL! They want to be babied and pampered. Mentally, they never grew up. Many times they would throw tantrums if they don’t get what they want, just like spoiled brats. Kids are like this. They would scream and throw tantrums if they don’t get their own way. I know one couple wherein the husband never set his foot in the kitchen. I doubt he even know how their kitchen looks like. He would sit on a couch in front of the TV and just wait for his wife to bring the folding table and food in front of him. He never gets up to get anything. Everything is handed to him, including the newspaper. He never eats at the dining table. The wife eats alone at the dining table. One time, the wife got sick therefore she couldn’t fix him anything. You’d think at least at that time he would get up and fix something for them. No, he called his sister to come over and help them. O_o There are people who like having toys. By toys, I mean RVs, motorbikes, boats, etc, etc. Some like having lots of jewelry, luxury cars and designer items. Nothing wrong with that as long as they can afford them, but there are people who cannot afford paying for these things on top of paying the mortgage, credit card and utility bills. They do not know how to live within their means. They rationalize that they want to enjoy life. Well, nothing wrong with that too, except that in their desire to have those things, they can hardly pay their bills and end up being buried in debt. They can hardly feed the family and their possessions end up getting repossessed. Sometimes, they even lose their homes and file bankruptcy. Naturally, it would put serious strain to the marriage. Still, there are people who have a matured outlook when it comes to life’s serious issues. They know how to take responsibility, yet they know how to loosen up, be young at heart, enjoy life and have fun, within means and reason. |
| Jan 12, 2008 07:59 | #35 |
| Shegottobe, I am with you, I cannot say it better. |
| Jan 21, 2008 20:32 | #36 |
| " There are people who, even in choosing a spouse, they want a father or mother figure. They always end up comparing their spouses with their parents. Furthermore, they expect their spouses to act like their father or mother. Seriously, if they want a mother or a father, they should have just remained single and stayed with their parents. LOL! They want to be babied and pampered. Mentally, they never grew up. " The question you are talking about is similar to the issue of Oedipus Complex. Do all men have some kind of Oedipus Complex? Some psychologists say that it is true. Every man has an affection about his mother. Especially in childhood, a boy's affection or obsession to his mother is strong. As the boy becomes mature, in choosing a wife, he tries to compare the girl he is dating with his mother. He hopes that the girl has the traits similar to that of his mother. |
| Jan 22, 2008 02:43 | #37 |
| GUESTSR | How did a thread on a mid life crisis turn into a man bashing thread. If we were to beleive the last two posts by females anyone would think men are exactly like their parents, sit on the couch and do nothing around the house, spend all the money on toys, lose everything they own, can't feed their family, are childish, want to be babied and pampered and want to have sex with their mothers. Come on, let's stick to the original discussion and leave the female chauvinistic veiws for another thread. |
| Jan 22, 2008 19:00 | #38 |
| "The question you are talking about is similar to the issue of Oedipus Complex. Do all men have some kind of Oedipus Complex? Some psychologists say that it is true. Every man has an affection about his mother. Especially in childhood, a boy's affection or obsession to his mother is strong. As the boy becomes mature, in choosing a wife, he tries to compare the girl he is dating with his mother. He hopes that the girl has the traits similar to that of his mother." I don’t think there is anything wrong if a man respects his mother. I think it is an admirable trait. After all, they say that you would know if a man would treat you well by the way he treats his mother. But it spells trouble if a man tries to mold a woman to be like his mother. Maybe others are ok to be patterned like that. I’m sure my husband-to-be won’t appreciate it if I try to turn him into someone like my father. I don't think anyone would like to be compared to someone's parents either. |
| Jan 22, 2008 20:35 | #39 |
| GUESTSR Quote: "How did a thread on a mid life crisis turn into a man bashing thread. If we were to beleive the last two posts by females anyone would think men are exactly like their parents, sit on the couch and do nothing around the house, spend all the money on toys, lose everything they own, can't feed their family, are childish, want to be babied and pampered and want to have sex with their mothers. Guest Sir, you misunderstood us. Did my post contain any traces of bashing male? It is just a discussion about how parents would influence their children's attitude in choosing a partner. "Oedipus Complex" is just an issue of psychology. It is still no final conclusion about the question. You can have your choice to decide to believe it or not? "Come on, let's stick to the original discussion and leave the female chauvinistic veiws for another thread. " You are charging Shegottobe and me for having female chauvinistic views? Actually, you are wrong. Read Shegottobe's reply carefully, then you can make a judgement. "I don’t think there is anything wrong if a man respects his mother. I think it is an admirable trait." This is chauvinistic view? OK, forget it! Let's stick to the original discussion on "Mid-life Crisis". You don't say anything on the original subject in your post. So, what do you think of the mid-life crisis? |
| Jan 25, 2008 00:10 | #40 |
| my mid-life crisis=suzuki850=3 mo. trip thru Mexico=wanting to move to some mystic foreign country=getting kicked very hard by my wife=back to normal again!! |
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