Chinese women and American men
Jul 21, 2007 06:26
  • CNEME71
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Hello all. I found this site and have a couple questions that I didn't know where to find answers for. My situation is as follows. I live in the United States, and for the past few months I've been eating lunch at a great little place owned by a family from China. Over this time, one of the waitresses has really caught my attention, and I believe she feels the same way about me. The trouble is, she has a limited English vocabulary. She, who says her name is KC, always ends up with my table, is very attentive, smiles, remembers what I like and blushes quite a bit. It's hard to describe but I feel there is certainly mutual interest. Or is there? That's where my problems start. My education is in history so I know enough to realize that different cultures have different parameters for just about everything. I don't want to offend her or her family, or step over some line that I don't see. Would it be okay for me to start having more personal communications with her, and maybe even ask her on a date? I really like this woman, and want to know more about her. I've found myself thinking about her on the days I don't go there for lunch. Please offer any advice you may have. This is a serious posting, and it may sound silly, but I just want to know how to approach this situation. Thank you for your time.
John in Florida, USA
Jul 21, 2007 06:37
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just read your post and can only add that when a boy meets girl and the lights turn on it is just the same as any place in the follow your heart and find out were it takes you as nothing gained, nothing lost Mate.
Jul 21, 2007 07:58
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Some Caucasian men find Chinese women exotic, and I believe it's a good idea to know whether the interest you have is based in mystique, and whether you're going to get past that if something serious happens. My best advice - ask her about China. You won't regret having learnt some things even if it goes nowhere. Find out which town she's from and look it up.

Just a thought.
Jul 21, 2007 12:32
  • CNEME71
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Hello again,

Thanks for the responses already! Both have offered advice and thoughts that I appreciate. I should clarify a bit about myself though. I'm 36, have a pre-teen daughter, and don't think the exotic aspect of this woman is what is attracting me. If anything, I strive to make my life simpler. In the beginning I suppressed my interest, hoping it was just a passing fancy in someone unlike myself... I can't deny that there is a real interest now though. Honestly, I sometimes wish we were more alike, and less exotic to each other, as that would be an easier situation to approach. I like the idea of asking where she is from, and learning about her town. Thanks... I'm happy to see some people are taking the time to offer thoughtful advice...

Thanks again,

Jul 22, 2007 21:07
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CNEME71, you seems to hold the idea that love can can not some boundaries: race, natioanality,age,culture. Certainly, it is hard for two persons with different cultural background an speaking different languages to get along very well with each others. However, if YOU ,really, really really,love the girl and take it seriously,rather than on impulse, pls publicly show your affection to her. Additonally, are you sure the girl has an interest in you?
Jul 23, 2007 05:32
Go for it John, you wont know unless you try, good luck mate.
Jul 23, 2007 23:15
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rignt ,u wont know unless u do it .And ,as a chinese ,i know traditional chinese girl would like being chased than
chasing .
Jul 27, 2007 06:01
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I have to ask John?
How is the "thing" going?
perhaps an update for the forum?
Jul 27, 2007 11:13
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Yes, we all wishing so.
Apr 15, 2008 09:47
GUEST40232 this sounds like my situation! I to have met this wonderful lady who works in a resturant. I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out and to my great surprise she accepted, we have been out twice so far and it just so happens we are going out this evening. I also have found that the lanuage barrier causes some challenages and I have went as far as buying a translater so I can communicate better with her. I have always been attracted to the asian culture and to its women and I have been let down to many times from american women. This lady is on my mind all of the time. I will just have to see where it goes. For the gentlemen who posted this i wish you all the luck. Just treat her like a lady and be a gentlemen.
May 27, 2008 18:36
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When I met my wife I was 40 and she was 37. Neither of us had been married before and she was here getting a master's degree but I met her when she was helping out in a local Chinese restaurant. She was a director of a government office and an official translator. We had long conversations in the restaurant before I asked for her phone number. We were married in 1997 and I have enjoyed seeing her learn things she could not have learned back home. I have been to China several times and we have adopted a beautiful little girl from China.
My hobby has always been history so recent Chinese history is fascinating and often misunderstood.
Her relatives and mine had and have no objections.
Taking her places and seeing her see things for the first time ( Like Niagara falls) delights me as much as it does her.
I wish you well and follow your heart.
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