| Do Chinese Co-Habiting couples Share Cost of Living? | |
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| Aug 3, 2007 13:08 | #11   |
 | one last thing, make sure that you know what she wants to do with her money!!! because there is this very good chinese people attitude for their parents, as i learn from my gf, they know they must help their family, is their culture, and i respect and support it very much. in china children help their elders and support em, can this be the case???? i, today, make sure that she takes extra care of em, and it work's for me too, she think's i'm the best!! |
| Aug 4, 2007 21:17 | #12 |
| Yes, this is certainly true. I have learnt it is a shame for children not to take care of their parents. I support my girlfriend in this respect. Thanks for the helpful advice. I know she want to give them some money, though yet to discuss precisely how much. Fortunately, they are not entirely without means of their own. Also, we must make contingency to go to China to help them should the need arise. |
| Mar 29, 2008 10:42 | #13 |
| GUESTDANIEL ... | Me and my Chinese wife took a trip to China and we were there for 3 months and things didn't work out there. In China men are mainly the ones that earn a living and women stay at home or work if they can get a job but usually it is lower paying. Beware of local Chinese, they may promise you many things in a relationship but "actions speak louder than words". The same is true in America just like China, they may expect the man to buy a house but I'm still cautious even about this because how many people live in China and housing is not readily available. I'm wondering if they mean an apartment because a house costs around 3 Million RMB and up depending on the location. I wonder if an apartment is considered a house because housing in China most of the time costs more then in the United States. Don't be fooled also by fake promises, me and my wife share equal bills but it all depends on who is working at the time. If you both work then you both need to take care of the bills together and share the cost, don't be fooled by her telling you that you need to pay for everything. Is that fair or even logical? Just work it out and if you cannot agree on anything then maybe just find another person that will love you just as much to take care of bills together. "There is more to marriage then just love"! The same is true for a long term relationship. |
| Mar 30, 2008 06:15 | #14 |
| Modernisation sure opens lots of discussion over here as traditionally, women do not work. I totally agree with May's observation. And for Chris, you have to decide how much of your culture or her culture applies to your relationship. Money is sensitive only when the prior agreement isn't sufficiently clear or detail. When I told my girlfriend that I would work and support her and her family, she was very happy. But she went on to tell me that she want to buy her first apartment and asked me to give her 3 years to achieve her goal. Until now, she still doesn't want my money and we take turns to foot the bills. BUT she said the deal is this, she keeps all of our income after we get married and promised to give me plenty of allowance. I later realise it has nothing to do with trust (money is the root of all evils), it has to do with her thinking which I can only attribute to culture. |
| Mar 30, 2008 23:33 | #15 |
| I am wondering what co-habiting mean. Is that common law partners or married couples. As far as I have known, if it is common law relation, one case from my friend in Shanghai is like they keep separate accounts for daily expenditures (common-law has no force in law in shanghai). After marriage, they usually pool income together for payment of mortgage, car loan (usually group insurance) and other misc. expense to get ends meet. I hear most young couple cannot afford having a baby – raising a child is expensive. Usually, young couple’s parents with pension provide support in taking care of little pre-school grandchildren, which is the alternative way financial support to young couples. It’s rarely heard that girl require boy to support girl’s parents financially in Shanghai. I have a cousin who married a guy from German (they are schoolmates), they share costs in rental, food (they are both working in German) but I am not quite sure if they set up a clear rule what item of consumption should be debited on whose account. My question is what western family norm is on this. |
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