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Black American with Chinese Husband possible move to Shandong Province
Sep 6, 2007 18:19
  • XOTIK
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Hi everyone,

I am so glad that I found this forum. Maybe I can ease some of my worries or get better insight as to what I can expect.

My husband is Northern Chinese and I am a dark skinned Black American and there is a great possibility that we will be moving to China (Shandong Province) next year. His family is eager for us to move there and my parents are worried about it, because they are not sure how I will be received over there having a Chinese husband?

Here in the US, we have never had any problems (aside from staring) and have even gotten very nice compliments from Chinese as well as Korean people when we have gone out to dine or out and about. They comment about his tall height and my features, which they seem to find attractive. I am presently learning Mandarin, so I hope to understand what people talk about, but do I need to worry about any Chinese Nationals or people being hostile towards me for holding my husbands hand in public?

I'd love to hear your opinions, thoughts on all of this :)
Sep 6, 2007 20:38
#1  
  • ELEMENT
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Really no need worry about this. Chinese people are becoming more and more open minded today. Nowadays mixed marriage is very common in China. Chinese people are warmly to accept foreign friends and they are eager to communicate with foreigners and learn with each other. So, take it easy and just try your best to learn Mandarine.
Sep 6, 2007 21:24
#2  
  • XOTIK
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Thank you for your reply. That is wonderful news. I really look forward to the possible move, as I really feel it would be healthy for me to absorb as much of his culture that I can!

The Mandarin is difficult, but I am having fun learning and will probably be better with it when I am in the environment hopefully interacting with other people :)
Sep 6, 2007 22:35
#3  
  • LIONPOWER
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No problem from Chinese society. It's completely depends on your husband and you.
Sep 6, 2007 22:41
#4  
Take it easy, wish you have a happy life in China.^_^
Sep 7, 2007 04:54
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  • DODGER
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Xotk,
although I am not black my Wife is Chinese . We have held hands in publc and she has been proud to be with me.I was worried that she would suffer but she did not.
Put these thoughts behind you and move on..it is not the South.
And futher, we on this forum realy do not give D......what colour you and Husband are as long as you are both happy.
Dodger.
Sep 7, 2007 09:29
#6  
  • XOTIK
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Thanks again for all of the responses! Also, I ask these questions because as a New Yorker from experience I realize that you can never be too careful about anything, and I'm just a question asker! I rather be in the know than to get over there naive and then in for a rude awakening. So thank you all for understanding :)
Jun 26, 2008 16:15
#7  
GUEST97678 Hi

2007... nearly a year ago! How are things? Have you moved there? If not, then here it goes...

I am Chinese (born in Beijing) and my wife is Indian (raised in London). I can't say we faced any problem at all when we were in China. In India, we had a couple of unfortunate encounters with unpleasant local strangers. In London, we get looked at quite a bit, particularly from the Indians here.

I guess in metropolitan areas such as Beijing for Shanghai, people of different races don't draw as much attention as in the more rural areas, where someone of a different race might as well be seen as from a different planet, for the locals have never seen anyone different from themselves. But on the whole, you wouldn't get any more than a few curious stares.

As for holding hands, we tend to avoid that in more traditional areas (in metropolitan places it's no big deal), especially in the Muslim north-west (don't worry, pretty far from Shandong!), just for respecting local customs.

I've been to Shandong many times, and I find the people there very direct, out-going / out-spoken, and general great open people.

So, have a good time!

Pip pip

Z

Jun 29, 2008 23:41
#8  
GUESTNAYO Hi,

My husband's family is from Toysan China. I'm Afro-Jamaican (Black) with a dark complexion though many people think I'm South Indian or Brazilian I guess its my hair, its wavy, thick and long. My husband and I will travel to Toysan together to see some of his family. While we have many Chinese people in Jamaica where marriages between Chinese men and black women are extremely common I have wondered how we may be recieved in Toysan. I've lived in Taiwan for a couple of years and for the most part that was fine however its not Mainland China and the culture for the most part is different in many respects. In Taiwan few people know where the Caribbean let along Jamaica. Because I speak English with bit of an island accent I was often mistaken for south Asian from India or Malaysia. We have a lovely baby boy who mostly looks like his father and nothing like me is sometimes a point of curious stares and questions. When we are all out as a family it is not unusual for someone to ask if my baby is adopted or if I am his babysitter or his step mother. I used to be so insulted and would insist my child obviously resembled me. But he really doesn't look much at all like me. My husband obviously never gets those sort of questions ever. What are peoples attitudes about mixed children. Any suggestions anyone? Thanks
Jul 13, 2008 15:33
#9  
GUEST00215 What a sad, sad people we've become. I never thought i'd see the demise of black love so unashamedly and brutally destroyed in such an insipid manner. Divided we have well and truly fallen.
Jan 22, 2009 20:00
#10  
GUEST95871 Guestnayo, I'm sorry to hear about what yr kid has to go thru. It sounds alot better in China than the rest of the world where lots of Chinese people I meet seem to have a racist attitude towards their mixed race brethen. Most of the time it depends on the mixture-a half white half Chinese person will be more accepted in the Chinese community whereas any other mixture-forget it, it's like they've lost their Chinese identity altogether. I have no idea if that's what yr little one faces in China but the rest of the Chinese world seems to have a really bad attitude towards us mixies. I should know, cos I'm a mixed Chinese myself and so are some of my friends who face the same problem with Chinese communities-we are not acknowledged and do not have a place AT ALL in the Chinese society. Having said that I still hold my heritage dear but have a love/hate relationship towards the Chinese community as a result.
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