| Black American with Chinese Husband possible move to Shandong Province | |
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| Jul 29, 2010 21:39 | #21   |
| GUEST00184 | I'm black and my boyfriend is Chinese. We talk about getting married but it's not likely. His family is very traditional and his parents want him to marry someone Chinese or of another Asian ethnicity. It seems to me, if his family and friends like you that will probably be good enough. Good luck. |
| Nov 30, 2010 13:34 | #22 |
| GUEST24142 | There will be no probelm in China and wish you a good luck. I married with an Indian woman, but I am not allowed staying in India permanently. Sad... |
| Dec 1, 2010 00:47 | #23 |
| GUESTBAI JIU... | I lived in Beijing for 3 years and am married to a Chinese native. Chinese people are most def. racist and judgmental towards Americans of African descent. They wouldn't even believe I was American. They saw the color of my skin and my afro and treated me like an (assumed) poor African.  His parents still don't approve of me and his extended family is in the dark about our relationship because his "traditional" (just a euphemism for racist. My mother is "traditional" and welcomed him with open arms) parents don't want any of their family to know their only son ended up with a "hei nv."  I would not recommend you move there. While we got stupid comments while living in NYC from darker skinned men (on the other hand, encouragement from darker ladies) it was nothing compared to what we faced in China: they assumed I didn't know what they were saying and spoke about me in front of my face to my husband. Horrible experience that I wouldn't wish upon anyone else.  You will literally feel the scrutiny and disapproval non-stop. Don't buy the bs on here about nobody caring. People say that crap to be PC on the surface. Someone used their relatively new appreciation of basketball as an indicator of their open-mindedness, but let me make it clear: they love Michael Jordon but would never want him to marry into their family!  |
| Dec 8, 2010 01:57 | #24 |
| GUESTNIMIMER... | "they assumed I didn't know what they were saying and spoke about me in front of my face to my husband." The way of the country is not just quietly accept bad comments, should you god forbid receive them (I do not know how likely it is or not). I have understood that if a Chinese child is bullied at a Chinese school, people do not have much sympathy for a cry baby, as they are not used to bullying escalating into Western world scale, where it actually can be life-threatening. I talked with a Chinese woman who told me that she was bullied for the first year of primary school. Well, she fought back, if she received bad comments, she gave it back two-fold, if boys wanted to steal her lunch-box, she kicked them between the legs mercilessly, and most importantly she never allowed self-pity, you are just supposed to be tough enough not to care at all (and it is easier to do when everybody around you acts like you should not be deeply hurt at all, it is not like school kids in america who would go, wow, she will be a marked student now. The other students in China consider the bullies to be ignorant gang of dummies who can only achieve comical displays of dumbness). I am just a Westerner who could be totally mistaken, since I do not have spent much time with the Chinese yet, but my gut instict is that in China the Chinese way is that of saving face. How weird will that be, if you just accept dishounouring behaviour from others. Speak up in the way a Chinese would. |
| Dec 27, 2010 12:41 | #25 |
 | You have nothing to worry about you will become part of the family. The color of your skin does not matter and is not even thought about. You are family forever and loved by everyone so enjoy your life and enjoy China and its many wonderful things to see. I came to China and married a Chinese Lady 20 years younger than me... |
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