| Pay 20,000 RMB to her family?? | |
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| Sep 11, 2007 12:17 | #11   |
 | I am married to a chinese woman. She is from Nanning GuangXi. Before we married she told me she wanted chinese wedding. Because wedding would have been quite small (no my family there) it would have cost "only" about 20,000rmb. To her parents 10,000rmb. And folks, that´s not all :) rings about 6,000rmb, wedding photos 5,500rmb and so on... All paperwork and bureaucracy costs; copies, legalizations, copies, visa... Also must travel to China once, twice or more. Same paperwork in China, too, and it costs. Then Your wife´s things to...where ever You live, and of course, I think, must have Your wife there, too. So if You decide to marry a chinese woman and bring her to Your homeland, prepare to loose much money. We didn´t have wedding, all other was enough. WindEnergy, if You live in China, maybe You can´t avoid paying because of pressure of bride´s family. So I advise You to take lao po from other city. Then it is easier to avoid paying. By the way, Nanning GuangXi is close to Vietnamese border, so I think it is quite south. |
| Sep 11, 2007 15:14 | #12 |
| Thank you CHYNAGYRL for your empathy for men, it is greatly appreciated :-) WINDENERGY, I think you're stuck! If this is the gal for you...you've got a pony up the loot...you may never find another gal with whom you share these feelings. Good luck! |
| Sep 11, 2007 20:32 | #13 |
| Actually, the money you give to the family will finally come to your bride as 嫁妆(dowry). For example, when I was married last year, the money my husband gave to my family was used to pay for our furnishings finally. So don't worry about the lost!! |
| Sep 11, 2007 20:37 | #14 |
| And yes, there's a bill you should pay for rings (and even necklace), wedding photo, wedding feast, maybe house (and even car)... But as long as you love each other, these are not important at all. |
| Sep 14, 2007 15:23 | #15 |
| About wedding feast, I read somewhere that wedding invitation is made to red paper and sent in a red envelope. It is called "red bomb", I think. Guests also give married couple a red envelope, some money in it. I think they calculate how much their eating at feast costs and give about that much in envelope. There may also be a person to whom envelopes are given. He opens envelopes and shouts how much money there is. If this is true, then, I think, is no easy to give too small sum of money and wedding finally doesn´t cost to groom so much. May, You are right, if love each other, money is not so important. But otherwise, money is always important. To me it was hard because I sometimes had a feeling everyone thought I was buying a wife to myself. Only after having a very long talk with my future wife about love and being equal, I could move forward. I truly love my wife and could not marry her if I had thought that she would not love me, that she only wanted to marry me because she wanted living abroad. |
| Sep 16, 2007 15:28 | #16 |
| It's wise to remember that when you marry someone, just as she is becoming part of your family, you are becoming part of her family. Therefore, take good care of your new parents. An angry mother-in-law and father-in-law are a difficult thing to live with for many years. In fact, maybe give them $30,000RMB! :-) |
| Sep 16, 2007 18:42 | #17 |
| Hmmmmm ????, News to me !! When I married Lao Po last year, this subject [never] came up......maybe it varies from family to family and region to region ?? Moreover, I am connected to a [large] group of American men who are either married to, or engaged to women from China. None of them, that I know and communicate with have had to pay any fee to the family, to marry the daughter !! I paid for the post-marriage family wedding supper at a nice banquet room in a nice nearby hotel in Guangzhou; everyone in her family was very happy and very pleased and nothing more was expected. With the recent increase in the K-series fee structure by USCIS/DOS last month, if you can afford the government fees to get her spousal (K-3) visa and her AOS, once in the USA, and also pay thousands of Yuan to her family, more power to you !!! :) |
| Sep 17, 2007 02:18 | #18 |
| Yes, Roger. The tradition changed in different areas of China. |
| Sep 17, 2007 05:37 | #19 |
| As with Roger, I was never asked for any money. Just the opposit in fact. I was scolded for trying to pay for anything. Dodger. |
| Sep 17, 2007 07:24 | #20 |
| There has been no mention of paying anything with me either, although I suspect the age of the lady concerned may have something to do with it, my girlfriend is 46 infact she has said doesn't want to celebrate too much because she knows I'm working class and not a very high income earner, she is happy with the fact we love each other. |
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