| Why marry a Chinese girl? | |
|---|---|
| Sep 28, 2007 10:55 | #11   |
 | I asked several Chinese women expats in Sydney, why Chinese men there seldom marry western women. each said it was because they wanted women who had traditional ideas, they did not want women with free wills. So they nearly all came back to China for brides - some even avoiding professional women as too modern. |
| Sep 28, 2007 23:55 | #12 |
| I think women are women the world over - that is they are basically the same. The difference is the state of the society in which they are raised. The things that bound men and women together for many years was survival; men and women needed each other to build a successful family unit. In US society - men and women no longer need each other for survival. Equal rights has made that possible. It has destabilized many male-female relationships. Chinese women still believe in the importance of the man/woman relationship. How long lasting that belief is remains a big question. Men and women now must find a new reason to believe in the importance of a husband/wife relationship. It is very fragile in the US and less fragile in China. Unfortunately, this instability is likely to spread. Hopefully, we as a humanity will find a way to renew the significance of family in all parts of the world. |
| Sep 29, 2007 13:54 | #13 |
| Griz, You can say it again. Several studies made in western countries prove that attitude of teenage girls is harder and colder than boys same age. It is a fact that in western countries women don´t need men any more to survive. Basically it is all right, but this has created a growing amount of single women, career women. Traditional way of family life don´t exist any more in this this kind of group of people. Women and men being equal has actually came true years ago, but many unions and governments, too, have not noticed that. So, actions to make women equal with men continues. Heh, (sad one) word equal is passed and parts are upside down. |
| Sep 29, 2007 22:54 | #14 |
| "The things that bound men and women together for many years was survival" Griz326, I am afraid that I am not in favor of your statement . You use the word "survival". If a man or a woman just wants to survive, there is no need for him/her to get married. Any party could live a better-off life without the other party. Perhaps, "the need for survival" can not be justified. |
| Sep 29, 2007 23:31 | #15 |
| I had not thought of it SUNNYDREAM but my comment really reflects my American orientation. 200 years ago, survival was very difficult - almost impossible - for single women in the Western US. ...and life was very difficult for single men. Of course, prostitutes in the old western US did just fine. I do not know how that "frame of reference" applies to life in China. |
| Sep 30, 2007 09:39 | #16 |
| And I quote” survival’ I guess Sunnydream is living just that, "her sunnydream" and so, she has no common understanding of the meaning of human survival. Can it be possible for human race to survive in planet earth if our ancestor has had a horse or a cat as partner for their survival, instead of a woman? or vice versa. The word marriage take's the place of partnership, as human race developed over the centuries, so, I guess, or maybe marriage first partnership later? |
| Oct 3, 2007 17:53 | #17 |
| The problem can be the place of money in our society, money meaning freedom and independance to many, it can explain why the Western modern family can now be summed up as a nuclear family, being quite often a blended family. Before some legislative victories in the 50's in France (earlier anywhere else in Europe except maybe for Spain and Italy) women had no right to earn their own money and needed to ask for the husband's allowance to apply for a job. Here the roles were divided clearly, the man works, the woman (being dependant) stays at home and wont divorce since she has no other revenu (moreover it was often forbidden for the woman to divorce). In other societies it was even worse. Yet the couple went on, no matter the problems met. Nowadays, well, everyone works. In itself it is not a problem. But it had a lot of consequences on the conception of family... As women do not need men to survive and to exist, the youngest generations felt they can lead the same existance as men, now both of the couple actors are free in this society (having money meaning being free), so couples don't last too long. This is not the only reason of course. This evolution is parallel to the development of individualism. We think more an more as an individual, less and less as a group (couple or anything else). We favour individual happiness (in love, in friendship) just like we favour our career: your husband is not good enough in anything that matters for you! Have it changed and let him pay the alimony... Could be the same for a job: it is just a matter of opportunity. I even think sometimes that it looks more and more like a market. Personaly I don't wish anyone to rely on anyone else to survive. I think women independance is a really good thing, but in the 20th century's context, it had unexpected effects that could be forseen. Everyone can be happy now (individualy or with the others but usually for a short period of time) but the family conception, as it existed, disapeared at the same time. Something appears another goes... Depends on what you liked the most. I guess this is why some Europeans try to find their best part in China. Though the notion of independant work exists there, most of the women still think family happiness is the most precious thing in life. They are looking for someone to share their life and will always try to preserve the family unity. I guess one of the problems with Chinese guys is that they often wish to marry virgins (I heard a lot about it). This is an extremely traditional vision of marriage (even backward) that still prevails though it is changing. I heard many girls feared to have relations with any guy unless they agree to marry them (though often they are no more virgin). Let's say most probably Chinese girls have the same ideal about family as Chinese guys, this is the main reason I guess. It is impossible for a Chinese guy to marry thinking he ll have to divorce soon in one third of the cases. This is understandable. |
| Oct 4, 2007 19:33 | #18 |
| Calos: to me "piquant" means "spicy" ..so I guess that it could be used to describe a wife... ;-) As far as the quick changes of moods you further described, I guess that I would use "edgy", "moody" or "hyper" to describe that. But if I may, Fench (my native language - and 'piquant') offers a much lager diversity of words to describe women... I think some members and guests should be careful in their comments and personal views as some readers might get offended . For exemple, I'm thinking of "the emptiness of Western women" and the last two lines of Windenergy comment. Please be respectful when expressing your own views on society. |
| Oct 5, 2007 22:59 | #19 |
| GUEST12988 | I'm a Western woman. It surprises me that someone here thinks 99% of us are empty and complicated but oh well. To each their own. I still see many western guys in many countries married happily to western women. Most people can find a match in their own country. |
| Oct 5, 2007 23:14 | #20 |
| quote, I still see many western guys in many countries married happily to western women. Most people can find a match in their own country. madam guest 12988 i happen to agree with you on most everything, however, i never said western woman are complicated, but i said TOO complicated. i reserve the complicated word for the future. |
Post a Reply to: Why marry a Chinese girl?
Copyright © 1998-2024 All rights reserved.