| Do you agree that most competent and successful women are unlucky in their family life? | |
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| Dec 19, 2007 20:30 | #11   |
 | Wow, great Carlos. You really do not mind how others make comments on you? In China, if a man depend on a woman, we say that "这个男人是吃软饭的". I guess that no men like others to comment him like this. |
| Dec 19, 2007 21:10 | #12 |
| SHESGOTTOBE -- I really like the way you said that. I'm a very black and white person so I was afraid that if I was too successful, i'd miss out on raising my kids (I don't have any, I'm 23), but the way you put it...like a team working together for a common goal, makes a lot of sense. My problem is it's hard to meet people when you're trying to climb the ladder of success. There are many things you have to give up. I know a woman who is around 30 years old, extremely successful, but still single and seriously looking for someone. I saw that and swore I would never be in that position. Thank you... - moondollars |
| Dec 20, 2007 19:23 | #13 |
| Quote: I know a woman who is around 30 years old, extremely successful, but still single and seriously looking for someone. When you are successful, your requirements for your future husband also become high. Wish her good luck. |
| Jan 5, 2008 02:36 | #14 |
| Actually, I think she might be starting to lower her expectations now. Lol - not to be offensive or anything but she seemed pretty desperate. She had a bf but he was chased away by her lack of gentleness. She's very strong-willed and demanding. I wouldn't blame her - she has a graduate degree in int'l relations which a scholarship paid for, went to work for the dept of state, can speak spanish and cantonese, and then attended law school - she starts work soon making near $200,000/yr. Seems like she would be a great candidate for a thirty-something year old man but it's a waste her personality is what's stopping her. She's funny and intelligent but....just too bossy and rash. |
| Jan 9, 2008 03:32 | #15 |
| Quote: If I were in a situation where my wife really would earn our living while I would earn not enough to take care for my family, that might be a ghost under my bed. Quite interesting, Carlos. If you find a ghost under your bed, don't be surprised. Just kidding. |
| Jan 10, 2008 01:24 | #16 |
| If you meet a man who is worried about being 'inferior', ditch him quickly! If you are career minded, why marry? Why spoil it? Chinese often remind us that in the west we all divorce, and in China so many women live in misery! Look into the application of the law should you want to separate... in China no woman should want to marry, in many western country no man should want to marry. !! Have relationships instead, and especially, don't have kids! It is hormones and that illusionary thing called love that make us assume it will be 'different for us'. OK, so I sound negative and cynical, but I reflect the realities of western and Chinese society...and one day in the future, I regret to say that some of you will remember what I said :( |
| Jan 10, 2008 01:39 | #17 |
| Quote: If you meet a man who is worried about being 'inferior', ditch him quickly! Quite interesting. If such a girl intends to look for a man in China, I guess that it is hard for her to succeed because all men are ditched by her. Why? Many Chinese men care about their faces very much and wouldn't want to be 'inferior' to their woman. They can't stand that other people say "这个男人是吃软饭的". |
| Jan 10, 2008 10:12 | #18 |
| Long time since read this thread. Jimmy, my translator says : this man lives by pimping. Pimping? Pimp = servant boy? I said more earning wife would not be a problem IF I earn enough too. IF my wife really would be the only supporter of family, that would be a problem. BBQQ, odd way to say? Well, it is direct translation from the way we say it here. Means taking something so deeply that can not even sleep. Paul, You sound cynical, but it is all right, because basicly You´re right. Carlos |
| Jan 10, 2008 20:18 | #19 |
| Quote: Jimmy, my translator says : this man lives by pimping. Pimping? Pimp = servant boy? Well, I think that your translator translated it basically right. Usually we say "这个男人是吃软饭的" to guys who just depend on their women and those guys usually are incapable of supporting his family. Since he can't support his family, he should be a 'servant' boy, cooking or doing housework and doesn't have the say in his family. "I said more earning wife would not be a problem IF I earn enough too. IF my wife really would be the only supporter of family, that would be a problem." Why? You are also arfaid of being laughed at by others or hearing "这个男人是吃软饭的"? |
| Jan 11, 2008 09:16 | #20 |
| But theme in China changing day by day, specially in Big cities. My major Chinese business friends doing work or earning together. Because it is impossible to maintain factory and office, some time show rooms by a single man. And they are not afraid about the sayings- "这个男人是吃软饭的". |
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