| Is it so hard to find a husband? | |
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| Dec 18, 2007 22:16 |   |
 | It is said that there will have been 30 million bachelors in China by the year of 2020. After hearing this news, I feel very sad for our male folks. Why? It means that it is very hard for them to find a wife. Girls should be happy about this since they have more choices. It is easy for them to find a husband. However, the reality is different. The news said that girls around 30 years old are in a hurry to find their husband. Miss Lin told the reporter that she wouldn’t go back home if she could not find her BF before Chinese lunar new year. Most of those girls who are in a hurry to find a boyfriend are well-educated. It is reported that those matrimonial agencies are very popular in recent days. Why? Is it really hard to find a boyfriend? Actually not. Those who are in a hurry to find boyfriend set their requirements too high before. Thus, they haven’t found their future husband. Getting older and older, they can not wait and wait. That is why they are in a hurry. Some guys say that they shouldn’t be too picky on their future husband. Otherwise they will be single in their lives. What do you think of it? Is it really hard to find a husband? |
| Dec 19, 2007 01:21 | #1 |
| GUEST41138 | You are female right, Jimmy B ? |
| Dec 19, 2007 11:05 | #2 |
| I think the 'dating game' in China needs updating. There are insufficient opportunities for young people to meet. In the west there are bars/clubs, dances and parties in their homes. Young people go out in friendships groups, sometimes one gender, sometimes mixed and they meet other groups. So they are regularly in meeting opportunities. Then we come to shyness. When the parenting and educational approaches deliberately prevent 'relationships' between youngsters, the young people do not learn appropriate skills. Interaction between genders as you grow up is as important, if not more so, than the hundred and one private lessons the kids are sent to out of school hours. |
| Dec 19, 2007 11:29 | #3 |
| With all of those extra men, maybe the girls will decide to take several husbands at the same time like a harem. ...just kidding really... :-) Or maybe western women will start taking Chinese husbands like western men take Chinese wives. Some countries do have more women than men. I do hope that your concern never materializes as a real problem for China. |
| Dec 19, 2007 19:42 | #4 |
| JimmyB is a female, har! har! har! har! Ok, I’m done laughing. Sorry, JimmyB. Don’t get mad, ok? ^_^” Considering how “face” is very important to the Chinese, it is only natural that the Chinese can be very picky. If you care how other people will think and talk about you, naturally you are bound to set standards based on that. I think this is the biggest factor. Don’t men have their own standards too? Would a Chinese man lower his standards just because there are 20-30 million more to compete with? I read somewhere that many Chinese girls who are working in the cities want to have a bf or husband most especially when they have to go home during the holidays. This is because they get a lot of pressure from family and friends to get married. This is probably the reason why Miss Lin doesn’t want to go back home without a boyfriend. A lot of them won’t even call or answer a call from their families when they are in the cities because they already know what they are going to hear. |
| Dec 19, 2007 20:25 | #5 |
| SHESGOTTOBE, I won't go mad. Guest41138 did not read my former posts. But I am curious that what made him take me as a girl. Quote: There are insufficient opportunities for young people to meet. In the west there are bars/clubs, dances and parties in their homes. Young people go out in friendships groups, sometimes one gender, sometimes mixed and they meet other groups. So they are regularly in meeting opportunities. Yes, Paul. Chinese people wouldn't go to bars/clubs to date. Why? Those bars or clubs have left bad impression on them. Bars are dirty places. For clubs, usually rich people can go there. What's more, they seldom hold dance parties at home. However, the match-making activities have become very popular in China. Thousands of people come there to look for their future husband or wife. Sometimes, their parents attend these activities on behalf of their children. And most of those participators are female. Quote: maybe the girls will decide to take several husbands at the same time like a harem. Griz, that is not bad. It seems that we come back to the times that women dominated the society :-) To 'export' Chinese men overseas is a good idea. However, western women seldom marry Chinese men. Can someone explain this phenomenon? Yes, SHESGOTTOBE. Pressure from their parents is unbearable. Thus, some girls 'rent' a boyfriend and take him home to cheat their parents. Boys also 'rent' a girl as their girlfriend. |
| Dec 20, 2007 04:21 | #6 |
| There may be a higher percentage of males in the population now and certainly in the future. It's like everything else these days. It not about quantity but quality. My guess is that many of the younger generation, both men and women are looking for qualities that their parents may not have known they could look for. And for many in past generations,there was not much choice. In a chat with a friend this week, she revealed that her husbands parents were told to marry by his military superiors. It was not a love match but despite this they remained married until the death of his mother and together raised six children. My friend met her husband while they were at school and they spent three years as teenagers during the cultural revolution in villages within an hours walk of each other with one or two opportunities to meet. It has been interesting to discuss with her the qualities in her husband that she admires and cherishes and those which she does not and how she is encouraging him to make some changes. They will celebrate 30 years of marriage next month and are looking forward to many more happy years together. Needless to say they are both still working on their relationship. |
| Dec 20, 2007 17:15 | #7 |
| GUEST24125 | If you have low standards then it is not. If you can be flexible then you can choose to love someone who doesn't match 100% of your ideals. But the good ones are taken pretty quickly by the time a girl turns 30 or so. The guys who are single and older have a history; maybe they'll still make a nice partner, take your chances. |
| Dec 20, 2007 19:20 | #8 |
| Well, everyone has his or her ideal wife (husband) on their mind. In search of a GF or BF, they surely make a comparison between the real one and the ideal one. If the real one is not as good as the ideal one, they will give up and keep searching a person who is the same as the ideal one on their mind. But we should understand that life is not a fairy tale. In the fairy tale, the beautiful princess finally finds her Prince Charming. In real life, it is not practical. You are getting older and older and you might not find your ideal soulmate in your whole life. Sometimes, we need learn to compromise, to reach a compromise with life. |
| Dec 20, 2007 19:32 | #9 |
| "But I am curious that what made him take me as a girl." It must be because of your pretty pic, JimmyB *cough*cough* Boyfriend for rent, huh? Hmm… I never thought of that. I think I’m gonna rent a boyfriend for my high school reunion. LOL! Agree, Jabarootoo, it’s about quality, not quantity. ;-) |
| Dec 21, 2007 02:31 | #10 |
| GUEST42163 | How hard would it be for a pretty and smart 40 year old Chinese woman living in America to find a Chinese husband in China who would want to have a child with a 40 year old woman? |
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