| Is it so hard to find a husband? | |
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| Dec 21, 2007 08:45 | #11   |
 | >>>My guess is that many of the younger generation, both men and women are looking for qualities that their parents may not have known they could look for. Maybe they do not know the adage, "love is what you make it." |
| Dec 21, 2007 19:47 | #12 |
| Hi GUEST42163! What I am getting from all the inputs is that most Chinese men don’t want a woman who is earning more money or is more successful than them. I don’t know how many notches it would lower your chances if you are an executive. LOL! I wish you good luck if you are searching! ^_^ |
| Dec 23, 2007 21:00 | #13 |
| Well, perhaps that is the reason why it it so hard for those successful women to find their husband because they are more successful than men. |
| Dec 24, 2007 09:38 | #14 |
| Guest 42163 got the question, Most of the Chinese man wants a young virgin to marry. I do not know how hard it will be, but I think it will be an up the hill run, unless the prospect man focus on the American, the pretty and the smart, so he can ignore the 40. |
| Dec 24, 2007 19:10 | #15 |
| Holy cow, JC! I thought that thinking was left in the Stone Age. LOL! Well, China has a surplus of 20 million men so maybe she would still find one man who would want her. If not, well, she can’t really force herself on anyone who doesn’t want her. There are a lot of other Asian and Western men who would love her for who she is and treat her well. She doesn’t have to limit herself to Chinese men. ^_^ |
| Dec 24, 2007 21:14 | #16 |
| Well, SHESGOTTBE. I have to say that Chinese people have attached much importance on chastity. JCL is right. Many of Chinese men wants to marry a virgin girl. |
| Dec 25, 2007 19:20 | #17 |
| Great cultural information you gave there, JimmyB! Everyone has a right to preserve and hold on to whatever it is that they believe. It’s good to learn something new everyday. I am beginning to see the bigger picture. ^_^ |
| Dec 25, 2007 20:14 | #18 |
| Well, SHESGOTTOBE. Some people say that in another way---Chinese men have 'Virgin Complex'. I didn't make researches on this so that I don't know the reasons. I guess that it has something to do with their traditional concepts and 'Face' also contributes to this. In the feudal society, chastity had been over-emphasized. In some places, women who lost their chastity would be drowned in the river. On contrary, those widows who never got married after the death of their husband were highly praised. On the other hand, no man would like to hear other people's gossip---his wife had slept with another man. Face is too important. This is just my analysis. |
| Dec 25, 2007 23:55 | #19 |
| It's fine if Chinese (or any other men) insist on a virgin....provided they are virgins themselves. Oh dear, what would happened to the marriage rate????? Jimmy, following up your earlier comment on what I said - maybe bars, clubs and parties are not suited to the Chinese situation, but there is a crying need for an alternative where they can meet. Dating services are one option, but finding a partner should be fun too. I would suggests China needs to find an alternative fun social environment. Tea shops, coffee shops (at sensible prices) and restaurants where the young are encouraged to come and TALK, meet each other in a social environment, and of course have music. They need to laugh together, be relaxed....and then somewhere along the way they will find they begin to get close to someone. You are only young once so enjoy your youth. (but you can have fun when you are old too....so I am told ! haha) |
| Dec 26, 2007 19:21 | #20 |
| For every man that is not chaste, there is one woman who is not chaste or one man that could be committing the act with many women, ergo, how could any man expect to get a virgin that way? China has way more men than women and many men have multiple mistresses so the chances get even slimmer. If a man is really big on chastity and bent on getting a virgin wife, he should also guard his chastity and remain a virgin before marriage. It’s not rocket science, I suppose. ^_^” If not, eventually, a man or any man wouldn’t be able to find a wife, let alone a virgin wife to save his face. For a non-virgin girl who lives in such an environment, it’s probably one of the reasons why it is so hard to find a husband. Just one of the reasons but being more successful could be one of the factors, too. Another thing I read is that innocent look and naiveté is prized, so if a girl doesn’t look innocent enough, it probably contributes to her undesirability. Why anyone would like a naïve girl, I don’t know. ^_^ Disclaimer: I am just trying to understand things. I am not out to change anyone’s mindset. This is just my analysis and I could be wrong. Hmm... how did I get entangled in this? I knew I registered because of travel. Commercial break, I need to drink a coke. O_o Totally unrelated face joke: When Abraham Lincoln was accused of being two-faced he replied, "If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one?" |
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