| "Marry me? buy a house for me first." | |
|---|---|
| Jan 2, 2008 03:08 |   |
 | Several days ago, an interesting thread in a Chinese forum impressed me a lot. The author told his experience of courting for a Shanghai girl. He said, he graduated from universities three years ago and landed a job in Shanghai city. Half a year later, he fell in love with a native Shanghai Girl. After two years’ getting long with each other, he made up his mind to propose to her girlfriend. He bought a diamond ring for her girlfriend (and bought a platina one for himself). When he proposed to her girlfriend, she said "marry me? please prepare for a house first...." " I love you, so I don’t ask for a car at the moment". Her girlfriend left without taking the ring. This is a very typical case when many Chinese young guys proposed to their girl friends. How to resolve the problem? What will you do if this happens to you? Should the girl be blamed? Probably not. “ Marrying me? Buy me a house first” has become a popular slogan for Shanghai girls. |
| Jan 2, 2008 05:14 | #1 |
| Yes, its a good slogan. Boy is foolish, why need to marry? |
| Jan 2, 2008 08:32 | #2 |
| Hey, all you guys out there. Repeat after me: see ya later, sister, and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. |
| Jan 2, 2008 12:30 | #3 |
| Is that before or after you slap her round the face and tell her to wake up and smell the coffee?? Actually just tell her that, please dont hit her, its not right to hit a woman. Seriously though if a woman says that to a man he should just shrug his shoulders and remember there are many more grateful women out there. |
| Jan 2, 2008 15:24 | #4 |
| Were an American woman to say such a thing to me, I would do exactly what WCTMAN suggests. When a Chinese woman says such a thing, I have to wonder if the woman wants a demonstration that the man can take care of her. ...of course, she could also be a golddigger! |
| Jan 2, 2008 18:12 | #5 |
| Taking care of somebody has nothing to do with the size of your bank account. Good jobs (high income) are easily lost, good people are worth keeping. |
| Jan 2, 2008 23:01 | #6 |
| This is another one of those “we don’t know the whole story” stories. What if it turns out that the parents of the girl are the ones who are actually demanding for the house? My friend is in this situation. O_o Remember that when it comes to family ties, East is not the West. But then, whether it is the girl or the parents who are demanding the house, traditionally, men are the providers so maybe the parents and the girl are just following the tradition??? |
| Jan 3, 2008 20:26 | #7 |
| Not all girls have such a demand. Just like SHESGOTTOBE said, maybe it is not the girl's demand but her parent's demand. The parents may think that having a house to shelter is essential for the happiness of their daughter. |
| Jan 5, 2008 01:58 | #8 |
| I agree with SHESGOTTOBE and SUNNYDREAM. We don't know the whole story. Chinese people seek stability and they truly believe money is the way to stability. It's true that high incomes can be lost but good people are worth keeping (NICHOLAS) but like SUNNYDREAM said, the parents may think that having a house to shelter is essential for the happiness of their daughter. The girl is probably just trying to protect yourself. The two should tell each other their individual opinions but the girl should definitely explain more, if not for trust then for to put the guy's heart at ease. |
| Jan 5, 2008 04:44 | #9 |
| I find it hard to see how a house is the road to stability. I see it as a step to stability but most people who buy homes these days make a down payment then spend the next 30 years working to pay that off. If they are looking for a man that can maintain stability, it should be that he is a hard worker and have good moral character, those unlike houses cannot be taken away. |
| Jan 7, 2008 21:03 | #10 |
| Wow, the opinions on this issue are obviously divided.( Girls on one side. Shegottobe, Sunnydream, Moondollars, male fellas on the other side) I notice that girls share similar opinion: perhap it is their parents' demand, and parents are of course out of good intention. Parents' good intention is comprehensible. Suppose one day you have a daughter, will you marry your daughter to a guy who has no room to shelter. To be frank, I won't ( although I am a male myself). As a parent, I should care for the blessing of my daughter's future. So fellas, take it as it is. DESTRUCKDOZ , although having a house does not symbolize a "complete stability" or absolute stability, it signifies part of stability, which is important in Chinese culture. |
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