| "Marry me? buy a house for me first." | |
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| Jan 8, 2008 01:12 | #11   |
 | Quote, (signifies) Be sign of something: to be a sign or symbol of something Just call me syndical, please... So, to a wife wanna be, the poor devil must buy a house first, He, he... Just to show mama and pops in the village! As a symbol of love... He, he... I can see love, He, he... That hungry flea must pick another dog. By the way, girls, just a common sense advice; if you ever think of a western husband, do not ever make such a stupid demand. I am sure that will be your last day of love. |
| Jan 8, 2008 04:53 | #12 |
| I like how most of us men are heading in the same direction. |
| Jan 8, 2008 05:17 | #13 |
| I actually can see the logic in what is being labelled the feminine side of this thread. It's funny because this is both a culture and a gender issue. I completely agree that every parent would want their daughters to be with a safe and secure man. It is very rational. Also I am without a doubt certain, that every, or at least most husbands want to give their wife the very best. The conflict here is one of pride and also judgement. A Man's pride is easily destroyed if he is judged on material wealth alone. Some men are born into wealth, are they better? Imagine at the age of 28yo there are two potential husbands. One has a house whilst the other hasn't achieved this yet. So the bride to be, to make her family satisfied goes with home-owning husband. Now imagine that at the age of 40yo Hoe-owning Husband is still stuck in the same house, it's not big enough for your NaiNai to come live and you can't afford to move. While Husband B now owns two properties through his hard work and intelligence and there is room for both generations. Material wealth can be lost in an instant. If you judge me by the material things I own then you insult everything that I am. If you assume that everything I have now is all I ever want then again you have insulted me. If you think I would want less then what you would expect for your daughter then surely you don't respect me at all. |
| Jan 9, 2008 02:13 | #14 |
| NaiNai is Mother/Mother In Law? |
| Jan 17, 2008 21:52 | #15 |
| I've never come across this particular situation, although I know of several people (both western and Chinese guys) who were expected to buy a house not for the girl they wanted to marry, but for her parents. Conversely, my girlfriend wants to get married so badly that she's actually asked her parents to buy a house for us. Don't think I can accept that, though. |
| Jan 18, 2008 06:26 | #16 |
| GUEST41205 | You foreigners should not bring your own cultural views and standard to this country. This is the practice in China and there is a background to it. So shut up and stop using all those words to describe the situation here, ok ? I suggest you listen, ask and maybe learn something from here to broaden your views. This is something quite unique to China whether you like it or not. |
| Jan 19, 2008 02:38 | #17 |
| In some part of China, people name marrage as 'Chengjia' (build a house), so house is very important for a couple. However, it is very difficult for a young man who has just been out of school for one to three years to purchase a house or a flat in a municipality or a big city in china. If the girl really loves the man, she should trust the man and work with him together. Although the man can't satisfy her request at present, he will buy a house for her in future with the help, support and love of the girl. |
| Jan 24, 2008 21:39 | #18 |
| What is the relation between House and Love? No house, we can still be in love. Without love, what is the House for? In the primitive era, there is no luxious house. There is still love in the shady stonecave. Now, for some rich couple, they reside in luxurious house but there is no love, no understanding between them. House matters, but love matters more than house. |
| Aug 15, 2008 17:45 | #19 |
| GUEST15522 | DESTRUCKDOZ had the best answer. There could be a lack of communication but not likely. It could be the parents as others have said. It is one thing for sure, if he is a westerner then the world thinks they're rich. People who speak the same language have problems, now imagine two people who speak different languages and have different cultures. A recipe for disaster if they are not careful. |
| Aug 17, 2008 02:33 | #20 |
| IMO if a woman loves you she will work on the house after she marries you LOL. She will work with you to get it together. She will value the relationship first and house second, not to say the house isn't important. If a woman asked me for a house first the decision would be easy. It would be say bye bye. |
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