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The tradition of asking for a woman's hand
Mar 11, 2008 22:32
#11  
  • LEONARDO
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Hi Shesgottobe,

Thanks for your reply! ^_^! Very interesting! In China, we don't have that kind of "asking for a woman's hand" ceremony. Now, Chinese parents have become open-minded and they give their children much freedom to choose their future companion. Arranged marriage has been a remote past.
Mar 12, 2008 19:56
#12  
  • SHESGOTTOBE
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Yes, Leonardo. I has become like this now:


Young man to a woman’s father: Sir, I am here to ask your permission to marry your daughter. I am confident I can take care of her. I have a good job and I already have my own house and a car.

Father: I appreciate your good intention but I’m not the one who makes decisions on that. I do not interfere on my children’s decisions when it comes to this issue.
Mar 25, 2008 12:33
#13  
lol. well, for most countries, they really have that traditions.
May 27, 2008 18:50
#14  
  • YINDUFFY
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In Western society (like America) a father pays the groom and this most often takes the form of the girls father paying for the elaborate wedding festivities. in traditional Chinese society the Groom pays for the wedding festivities and gives gifts to the girl and her parents. These gifts can be specified in the negotiations for the bride.
In both societies the girls father is handing the girl from his family to her new family. In old China, the girl would not see her parents again but become handmaiden to the boys mother. Modern China still has arranged marriages but they are not as common. A lot depends on how much money the families have.
China is changing fast and no one can say for sure which traditions will remain.
May 27, 2008 21:25
#15  
  • LEONARDO
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Quote
In Western society (like America) a father pays the groom and this most often takes the form of the girls father paying for the elaborate wedding festivities.In traditional Chinese society the Groom pays for the wedding festivities and gives gifts to the girl and her parents. These gifts can be specified in the negotiations for the bride.

Today in China, it is the groom who pays for all the wedding cost. You are right for saying that China is changing fast and no one can say for sure which traditions will remain. Western wedding ceremony has take the place of traditional Chinese wedding ceremony. Nowadays, It is rare to see the traditional Chinese wedding ceremony displayed in the following picture:

May 29, 2008 04:14
#16  
  • FRANKENSTEIN
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At some rurual areas, people are trying to revive the traditional wedding customs. The bride and the groom wore the traditional Chinese robes.
May 29, 2008 05:44
#17  
  • JSUMMERS83
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I got married very traditionally in the West. I first asked the permission of the parents of my now wife, then asked her, and after a short period of time we got married. Her dad gave my wife away to me at the ceremony.

Although the customs and cultures may differ all over the world, it seems to me that this idea of transferring the care of a woman from the father to the husband is almost universal. Even if the actual giving of the bride doesn't occur in a Chinese ceremony, I have noticed that the brides get all dressed up at their house where the husband comes with his entourage to carry her down the stairs to the car to drive off to the ceremony and to life together.
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