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Are Chinese people too shy to express their love?
Mar 13, 2008 04:14
guest9567

Hello, this is my first post here. I have a question. Are Chinese people too shy to express their love?

I have a friend who has been dating a Chinese man for two years. My friend told me that the man loved her very much. He had done almost anything for her: sending gifts to her on valentines’ day, cooking Chinese food for her. Nevertheless, the Chinese man has kissed her. He has even never expressed “his affection” to my friend directly and explicitly. I am not sure if he has ever stated “ I love you” to my friend. Transparently, he wants to be with my friend and my friend falls for him. However, my friend talked about him yesterday. She just can not understand why it is so hard for Chinese man to express their love to their gals. Does it have something to do with traditional Chinese culture? I have heard that Chinese men are often reserved.
Mar 13, 2008 07:43
#1  
  • MACAIQIN
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True love is in his actionnot in his words.
Mar 13, 2008 10:44
#2  
  • LIONPOWER
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Its not a problem. Ice melt any time.
Mar 13, 2008 12:02
#3  
  • GRIZ326
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Perhaps that one individual is very shy. Or perhaps that one individual has (religious?) beliefs that prevent him from being more forward.

You could not explain the world's largest population if all Chinese men were that shy. ;-)
Mar 13, 2008 23:15
#4  
  • MARRIE
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guest, is this chinese man from north or south. the north east guy is warm-hearted and pretty straight forward, while south east guy is sly and is not easy to cope with, hehe.
Mar 15, 2008 23:01
#5  
  • LEONARDO
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GUEST9567,

It varies from one to another. Most of us tend to generalize a group of people based on our own presumption or personal encounter. So I can understand you and your friend. Yea, to some extent, Chinese men hold the belief that " actions speak louder than words". In your friends' case, your friend has actually felt his love. That is a key. Obviously, I must admit that the guy is a little bit shy. One thing I want to say, not all Chinese men are "timid sheeps". LOL! ( I am kidding)
Aug 22, 2008 00:27
#6  
  • CLOUDHANDS
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I hope more people answer this question. My guy does not express any affection outwardly, not even in private. No touching or kiss, but hand holding. It is very different from previous experience, where small signs of affection were common. Yet his actions are consistent, his word true, he is kind and remembers every work spoken between us. He will readily say he is happy and pleased with our relationship, as simple and sincere expressions. I feel so satisfied with our relationship-we are on the same wavelength, and the communication is ideal. It is completely different than any other I have experienced, no fanfare or complications, only natural and real. Does this sound familiar to anyone here?
Aug 26, 2008 22:56
#7  
  • ICEBLUE
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Chinese girls are taught to be gentle and reticent in front of men. Guys are supposed to be more brave and active to express their love for their beloved girls.
Sep 9, 2008 05:10
#8  
  • TRACY9920
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my father has never expressed his affection towards my mother, but he certainly is grateful for her to walk with him for the past 25 years, i know he loves her, but he is embarrassed to express it, this is common among elder generations.

Younger generations are pretty affectionate, guys my age or younger can be all over their girlfriends and whispering love notes into their ears.
Sep 9, 2008 22:55
#9  
  • SUMMERSNOW
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Speak out your feeling will help improve your relationship with your partner. It is good to let the beloved one know how much you love him/her.
Oct 27, 2010 20:20
#10  
GUEST38236 maybe he just doesn't love u.
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