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Engagement ring question
Apr 4, 2008 16:44
guest54097 Hi everyone,
I plan to return to China soon and propose marriage to my Chinese girlfriend. I am a citizen of the US of A. I was wondering about the engagement customs in China. I know the K1 process will take 12 months. And after arriving in the USA, we still have 3 months to decide to married depending on if she likes it here. I hate to spend several $$$ on a ring and then she decides to not go through with it or not even leave China. Maybe buy the engagement ring after she arrives in the US. Any sugesstions would be appreciated.

Guest1322
Apr 5, 2008 15:14
#1  
  • GRIZ326
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With luck, my gal will arrive in Montana in mid-summer. I gave her my man's diamond ring when I proposed; I bought her a woman's diamond ring when I visited her during Spring Festival.

Buying or giving a woman such a valuable give is a display of trust and a sign you are hopeful there will be a happy outcome.

You must fear losing the affections of a woman well suited to you first and have faith that things will work out. Losing the few bucks involved in buying an engagement ring is trivial even though the USD amount may not be.

No one wants to lose their investment in a diamond engagement ring. But if you are worried about giving a gal a diamond ring for fear that she'll back out, you are not ready to propose.
Apr 5, 2008 21:27
#2  
  • JIMMYB
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Guest1322, to have a big diamond ring and a romantic wedding is every girl's dream. However, there are some girls who don't care if they have a big diamond. My cousin's wife is such a girl. She didn't ask my cousin to buy three golds (golden ear rings, golden necklace and golden ring). She even didn't require a wedding dress let alone a grand wedding ceremony. My cousin felt very indebted to her so that he bought her a golden ring. She is very considerate. Forget to say, they just invited some relatives and close friends to inform that they got married instead of a big wedding ceremony. Why didn't they have a big wedding ceremony? Because they had bought their appartment on installment. With the money they saved, they had a honeymoon by traveling.
Apr 5, 2008 22:11
#3  
GUEST98152 Thank you for you opinions Griz326 and JimmyB. My girlfriend is also very practical. Our first meeting only lasted 10 days last December. However we have been Skype-ing everyday since then. We have been discussing the K1 process but I have not started the I-129F yet. I will visit her for 3 weeks to get a better feel of our relationship. Afterward we will decide to start the process or not. But if we do decide to start the fiancée Visa, should I not have a ring ready? I am debating of buying a ring on this next visit or to wait till she arrives in the US first. After my trip, I will not have anymore vacation the rest of this year. I don't want to discuss with her now because we may not get along after 3 weeks together. I am very worry and like to hear some opinions. Thanks.

Guest1322
Apr 6, 2008 18:10
#4  
  • GRIZ326
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Diamond rings in China cost about the same as in the USA. Please understand that I say that without any real authoritative knowledge even though I bought my gal a ring during Spring Festival. Unless you are a gemologist, you won't know if you just paid 50,000 RMB for a piece of glass, a fake diamond or a real and nice diamond...and you certainly won't know if you got a good deal. You may be more comfortable buying a diamond in the USA.

When I bought the diamond for my gal this trip, I decided that even if I just paid 50,000 RMB for a piece of glass - it did not matter so long as it makes her smile when she looks at it.

Without really good connections in the jewelry industry, the average bear probably gets his best deal and most confidence in quality buying a diamond ring from Costco.
Apr 6, 2008 20:49
#5  
  • SUNNYDREAM
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Yup, a diamond ring is a must when you propose marriage. Just to show how much you love her.
Apr 19, 2008 13:21
#6  
  • CARLOS
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Hah, I agree with Griz, if You are worried about loosing money, You are not ready to propose.

As well I don´t agree with You this time, Sunnydream. If proving love needs huge amounts of money, then it is not love at all.

Carlos

(sorry, seems like I am not in a good mood today)
Apr 20, 2008 23:03
#7  
  • ICEBLUE
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Engagement gift is just symbolic. The gift itself is not matter. What matters is if you can take care of her for the rest of your life. In other words, can you devote all your love to her.
Aug 20, 2008 18:51
#8  
  • REMAG1234
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Sunnydream sounds like a western woman. Iceblue on the other hand is the REAL DEAL. IB said the ring is symbolic and that's all it is. What does a woman give a man for an engagement?????? Sunnydream I'm waiting for your reply.
Aug 20, 2008 21:49
#9  
  • SUNNYDREAM
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REMAG1234,
Why do you say that I am like a western woman? A man should give "a gold ring" to a woman as an engagement gift. That is a custom in China. Maybe, you think I am materialistic. All women like romance, without a engagement ring, the engagement would be a pity and somewhat miserable.
Aug 21, 2008 23:02
#10  
  • CLOUDHANDS
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Thanks, sunnydream. I suspected that a simple gold ring, not a big diamond is in keeping with Chinese custom. My boyfriend is Chinese ( we live in America) and we have already discussed this subject of diamond rings as tokens of engagement. I would not accept a diamond as a gift from anyone, nor would I consider buying one for anyone because of the suffering and political bloodshed incurred upon the people who harvest the diamonds.
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