Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women?

Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women?
May 15, 2008 12:05	#41
NEXUSBOY Points: Join Date: May 14, 2008 Status: Offline	MARRIE to put it simply a lady that doesnt act like a wounded animal is my ideal lady. In all the years I have travelled abroad, Im never more bemused about the complexities between men and women than in western countries. It always seems gender equality is such a big fixation in most situations there, almost to the point of completely detracting from getting to know one another genuinely. As LEON8ME said before, western women generally have a strongly biased political and social perception that almost always comes from some interpretation of what it means to be feminist minded. Primarily western women who deride the position of a man in a relationship yet feel entitled to more than their giving back. And anyone in my opinion male or female who always lead with an underlying agenda in all things ie dating, work, socialising with friends, can almost certainly come across as bigoted to some degree. That is largely what Im referring to. However its funny how as soon as you remove this variable or look at other cultures of women, then suddenly there seems to be an onus on personal responsibility on what the outcomes of any relationship becomes. And not a position whereby one party or another expects something to materialise because of what feminism dictates or what their percieved entitlements are as a man or woman. You could argue that the many developing countries out there that feminism hasnt had as big an impact have women who are more submissive than western women, and hence men prefer this. And you could also argue that this therefore is disadvantageous to women and hence men are better served in this kind of arrangement. But I have been to many of those societies and women are anything but submissive or ignorant to what they want in life, especially if dealing with latin women. So instead my only conclusion is that women not tainted by the heavy hand of feminism, have a more realistic perspective in what a family unit requires for a successful marriage, and also a more empathic understanding between herself and her husband, not something that is as easy to accomplish when pursuing lofty feminist ideals that often border on selfishness and the unrealistic. Again Im all for equality but not when it becomes a convoluted affair on what is appropriate and what isnt to the point of utter banality. Foreign women seem to be able to look inward alot more readily and find balance, than the western women who look outwardly for direction only to find what other feminist girlfriends advise to be even more confusing than what they began with.

May 15, 2008 12:05

#41

NEXUSBOY
Points:
Join Date: May 14, 2008
Status: Offline

MARRIE to put it simply a lady that doesnt act like a wounded animal is my ideal lady. In all the years I have travelled abroad, Im never more bemused about the complexities between men and women than in western countries. It always seems gender equality is such a big fixation in most situations there, almost to the point of completely detracting from getting to know one another genuinely. As LEON8ME said before, western women generally have a strongly biased political and social perception that almost always comes from some interpretation of what it means to be feminist minded. Primarily western women who deride the position of a man in a relationship yet feel entitled to more than their giving back. And anyone in my opinion male or female who always lead with an underlying agenda in all things ie dating, work, socialising with friends, can almost certainly come across as bigoted to some degree. That is largely what Im referring to.

However its funny how as soon as you remove this variable or look at other cultures of women, then suddenly there seems to be an onus on personal responsibility on what the outcomes of any relationship becomes. And not a position whereby one party or another expects something to materialise because of what feminism dictates or what their percieved entitlements are as a man or woman. You could argue that the many developing countries out there that feminism hasnt had as big an impact have women who are more submissive than western women, and hence men prefer this. And you could also argue that this therefore is disadvantageous to women and hence men are better served in this kind of arrangement. But I have been to many of those societies and women are anything but submissive or ignorant to what they want in life, especially if dealing with latin women. So instead my only conclusion is that women not tainted by the heavy hand of feminism, have a more realistic perspective in what a family unit requires for a successful marriage, and also a more empathic understanding between herself and her husband, not something that is as easy to accomplish when pursuing lofty feminist ideals that often border on selfishness and the unrealistic. Again Im all for equality but not when it becomes a convoluted affair on what is appropriate and what isnt to the point of utter banality. Foreign women seem to be able to look inward alot more readily and find balance, than the western women who look outwardly for direction only to find what other feminist girlfriends advise to be even more confusing than what they began with.

May 15, 2008 22:23

#42

MARRIE
Points:
Join Date: Jan 7, 2008
Status: Offline

NEXUSBOY,

(((Primarily western women who deride the position of a man in a relationship yet feel entitled to more than their giving back))),

Traditionally, a man was to make a living and protect his wife and children, and a woman was to provide for the domestic economy, paticularly in caring for husband and children. This traditions are kept in Japan, Taiwan but not in mainland China.

My generations are raised to think goals and wills of men and women are parallel. women have right cultivate higher talents and fulfill potentials, which is reflected in bringing income to family instead of becoming a household drudges.

In working enviroment, from my observations, submissive women are more welcomed among male colleagues. i.e., you don't have to know much and playing well a dume doll is enough keep the position until retire!

Certainly, I do have pleasure to see career women past and present who do well but at the same time lose much. This is so called balance.

May 17, 2008 05:04	#43
MUSE82 Points: Join Date: May 17, 2008 Status: Offline	Western women are too BIG to marry :)

May 18, 2008 21:55	#44
SUNNYDREAM Points: Join Date: Jun 11, 2007 Status: Offline	Women, East or West, have the right to pursue their dreams and goals. Women are inborn household drudges. The male-chauvinism should be dumped.

May 21, 2008 21:39

#45

LEONARDO
Points:
Join Date: May 21, 2007
Status: Offline

Wow! I just left here for only 10 days. Glad to see that we have new members shedding light on the topic. I had a seven-day trip. It enrichs my mind. Interacting with the western women and men has changed my opinion of western women. The ladies I came across were nice, kind and considerate. They do care a lot about their families. Certainly, they care about their careers and dreams as much as their male counterparts. They did well in maintaining a balance between family and career. So I have learnt a lot from the conversations with those western men and women. One important point is: not only men but also women need to find a good balance between family and career.

Quote:
>>In working enviroment, from my observations, submissive women are more welcomed among male colleagues. i.e., you don't have to know much and playing well a dume doll is enough keep the position until retire!"

Marrie,
I can tell you that not all men prefer a female colleague who is good at nothing but being submissive. "You don't have to know much and playing well a dume doll is enough keep the position until retire!" Not true at all times! As timegoes by, the dumb doll will lose her advantage because time can weather beauty.

May 21, 2008 23:08	#46
COOLSPRINGS Points: Join Date: May 19, 2008 Status: Offline	Leo, you are absolutely correct. There's no big difference in terms of various characters, different values of life, etc. among general public between west and east.

Jun 10, 2008 06:21

#47

GUESTCVO

1. racism; dicrimination based upon 'color of skin' <?> WRONG
RIGHT: based on generic appearance; structure of body; smell; rotar psychological behavior

My personal view ? I don't care about your color. You don't have the genetic rotar behavior; go away. Your body
'stinks' obviously my body does not like it; your in a body that is genetic NON EQUIVALENT to mine. bad sex
never made good looking natured people.

2. Only few (1%) of any population <3rd world> will ever, can ever, obtain excellent relation with any other.
3. American 'free culture' of 1970's was excellent time; these people are an 'ethnic' group. you can see it in the
general facial structure; sex people long enough you'll look like them. They can different skin, hair color; but you
see the generic sameness. They got along well because they 'could'. That made america successful.
4. Where you see failures; thats 'crossing' the line. Black slavery thing was crossing the line; these people dont belong; even their tribal forefathers could not survive in many cultures in africa; they would always have been murdered. before the portuguese ever bought a 'negro' or named one; they were sold by their enemy negros of other ethnic bodies; they could care less; idea was and always is: what are they worth? black people are no innocent; they will kill theirs first before yours. I talked to a black man from ugandan tribe; he freely admitted this.
They come to america because they cannot obtain power in africa, they cannot fulfill their desires; many women, lot of sex, etc etc. They see the white girl; could not get her, so invented rap music warrior culture to appeal; put off 'false airs' entire trap. This doesnt work without 'white males' sucking up; acting black; then they penetrate and do you all. What males going to defend you when their all mentally corrupt by this association? They do this in russia, in asia, everywhere; they literally have nothing to offer of nature; they have to invent their appeal. And they WILL sex your sister; with her consent or not. "crossing the line' is their motto. They need a counter culture to evict them., this one is currently growing; erupting out of russia.
5. YOu like to date foriegn men? leave your native land and never come back. you want tobe marriage foriegn girl; leave your native land, never come back. 3rd generation later, your children, who will ever know a white man or woman had sex with anyone?

6. Be loyal to your people. think you r sexy white girl? not for long. none ofyour daughters will be; they'll look in the mirror and ask whats wrong with their bodies; 50% of the quality of their mother; what hurts them most, from their
3rd world father, or 'white trash' one. 3rd world people are everywhere. yahoo.ca|kaytishina69

Jun 10, 2008 15:57

#48

KEOSEEKER
Points:
Join Date: Jun 10, 2008
Status: Offline

"I am a white American woman and I love Chinese men. I have a crush on a Chinese guy at work as a matter of fact but I don't know if he would ever go out with me. I would happily date Chinese men if they ever showed any interest in me. But in my experience I have found that Asians in general are very self-segregating and this creates a huge barrier to women like me who want to meet eligible Chinese men. And I also get this vibe when I'm in the Asian-dominated parts of town that they just don't like Americans very much."

Regarding this post, I must say that Asian American men are attractive to me, a white American female, as well. They are, generally speaking, more educated, affluent, and cultured than their American counterparts. I am considering dating a Chinese American man who came here as a student in the mid 1980's. What should I know about dating Chinese American men so as not to offend and get off to a bad start? Any suggestions would be helpful, as this is my first forray into a relationship with an Asian.

~KEOSeeker

Jun 12, 2008 23:07	#49
GUEST1768	KEOSeeker Your posts are weird. What are your main points? KEOSeeker, Asian men and Asian women are alike. They are kind of traditional and conservative. They preferred women not to be too active in courtship. Let him chase after you, but you can give him a hint that you have an affection for him.

Jun 12, 2008 23:09	#50
GUEST1768	Sorry, I mean GUESTCVO's posts are weird.

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