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Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit....
Apr 27, 2008 19:54
  • SHESGOTTOBE
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Alan, this one's for you. ^_^


What is the difference between a biker and a vacuum?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....


Apr 27, 2008 21:41
#1  
  • GARYKINKADE
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Well, now that you mentioned it SHESGOTTOBE, "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit, but did you hear about the fairytale that one of our (U.S.) ships fired upon an Iranian ship and the price of oil went up $2 a barrel, how's that for killing two birds with one stone.
Apr 28, 2008 01:05
#2  
Alan, this one's for you. ^_^

Thanks for that it brightened up my Monday morning.
Alan
Apr 28, 2008 02:23
#3  
  • DAVEC
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Made me giggle too
Apr 28, 2008 03:01
#4  
  • LIONPOWER
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

Interesting, can you more explore it?
Apr 28, 2008 21:25
#5  
  • SHESGOTTOBE
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Wedding ceremony is roughly 45 minutes.
Apr 28, 2008 21:34
#6  
  • BBQQ
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"Wedding ceremony is roughly 45 minutes."

It is too short. After that, you will become his wife and he will be your husband. In China, we usually invite our friends and relatives to attend our wedding ceremony and it lasts more than two hours. When they come, the bride and groom hold a grand feast to treat them. That is why the wedding ceremony is a bit longer.
Apr 28, 2008 22:35
#7  
  • JCNILE123
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She, She, She is got to be!

He, he,
She, now you are talking girl!
May 1, 2008 22:36
#8  
  • SUNNYDREAM
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LOL! Shesgottobe, very funny jokes.
"What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving."

Thanks for sharing the fun stuff.
May 2, 2008 21:20
#9  
  • ICEBLUE
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I can not help giggling too.

"What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities."

I can't understand this one? Can you explain it?
May 4, 2008 21:49
#10  
  • SHESGOTTOBE
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“I can't understand this one? Can you explain it?”

I guess very aggressive and assertive personalities turn people off.
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