| Westerner Dating a Chinese woman | |
|---|---|
| May 3, 2008 16:48 |   |
 | I am a white American living and working in Kuwait. I've been seeing a beautiful woman from China and love her beyond belief! She is the world to me, but at times I think she doesn't really feel the same towards me. I don't think in my life I have ever realized what true love was until I met her. I can't say enough about how amazing she is! That said, even after seeing her for almost 3 months, I still don't know if I'm treating her the way she wants to be treated. I would do anything for her, and I've told her that many times. I still think she doesn't take me serious. I have talked about the future and my hopes of one day getting married to her. She seems very receptive to this, but there is all the talk I hear about girls marrying Americans just to get there, then dumping them for someone else. I'm looking for loyalty in my future wife, and I don't know whether to put any stock into what I hear or not. As I said, I love her no matter what, and even if this happened, I don't think I could ever not love her. I want to make sure she is getting what she needs from me. What advise do you have for dating a 30 year old woman from China? What should I watch for as far as signs that she is truly in love with me? I want this to work out more than anything because she is so special. Any GOOD advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks |
| May 3, 2008 19:09 | #1 |
| I have had 2 Chinese gfs in the past and the main thing I have learn is the obvious thing, they are very very different to western women. There were many times I felt that I was the only one in the relationship with any feelings but its just they have different ways of showing it than we are used to. You have to take things slow, you will learn new things every day. Take time out to really learn about her culture so you can be the best you can. Also consider that after 3 months talking about marriage is a bit quick dont you think? dont want to put any pressure on the relationship. |
| May 3, 2008 20:17 | #2 |
| LOL Americans can't even understand western women, much less Chinese. They are an enigma wrapped in a riddle covered with a mystery. Spend time in China, read up on Chinese history and philosophy. They may have iPods but Confucian influence is still present. |
| May 3, 2008 22:18 | #3 |
| You're right in everything you've said. They are very different. It is a refreshing difference though. I have always been facinated with the Chinese culture, but unfortunately haven't researched this topic until it just happened. Who would have thought I would have even met someone so beautiful and alluring. The other thing about the marriage, I think I was so confused as to how to handle holding on to her that I just lost my mind for awhile. Temporary insanity, maybe. Love, most definately! Thanks for your comments. I'll try to be patient and try to understand how she displays her affection toward me. All I can say is I do want to spend the rest of my life with her. She is the best thing to happen in my life. |
| May 3, 2008 22:23 | #4 |
| I appreciate the information. I know they are emerging with a new found freedom of liberation in China as far as dating is concerned and this is what concerns me. Is it Confusious or confusion? As far as the IPOD thing, from what I've experienced so far, they are much smarter than you give them credit for. Can't say enough about how great this woman is! Thanks for your information, I'll do some research on their history. I'm planning to go with her to China in 6 months to visit her family and I'm hoping by then I have a better handle on the background of their culture. Who'd think I'd ever meet someone from China I would adore so much! Thanks again. |
| May 5, 2008 05:49 | #5 |
| Lost1. Why do you find it necessary to add the racist statement that you are white????? |
| May 5, 2008 14:46 | #6 |
| With all due respect to you I didn't add this discription to my question to imply any racist bias. I merely was trying to cover all the bases in explaining who I was since my picture is not posted. When I get a decent picture of myself, I will download it, then I will not need to clarify so precisely. Since you seem so sensitive to this discription, I think maybe it is not I who is racist, but you. Search your own soul. If I were a racist, I wouldn't have the open-mindness to consider dating a person outside my race. Since I have a burning desire to marry the woman I fell in love with, I hardly think this constitutes me as being labled as a racist. I'm truly sorry if there are those out there that feel this way. You are Chinese I see. I have read that Chinese men find it offensive that Chinese women marry outside there ethnicity. Are you one of them? I feel sorry for you. |
| May 5, 2008 18:20 | #7 |
| He, he, conscious of Paul the one from Australia and England, I don't think he is any racist, now I don't know about Apault from China...I think he is a little, just a little bit. Paul, I told you about the hat, it make’s you look Chinese. He, he, |
| May 8, 2008 11:53 | #8 |
| GUEST24124 | Hello again Dave, I have another question for you since you seem to be the most level-headed and experienced person that responded. What was your experience with them when you dated them. Sometimes I think she is so preoccupied with her life and the things she's into at the time, that she looses site of things that are important to me. Or is this just one of those cultural things that we have to adjust too? She tells me she loves me and we always enjoy each others company when we're together, but there is still that "thing" that knawles at me. What were your experiences with this? |
| May 9, 2008 10:13 | #9 |
| Lost1, You may just be focusing a little too much on the differences that you perceive to be there. She’s a Woman. She just happens to look a little different and speak a little differently. If She is on the same page as you are at the moment, and She may not be, then your approach should be the same as it would be for any woman. By the way, Paul is from Australia and has been on this site longer than Moses. Cheers, Dodger. |
| May 9, 2008 14:28 | #10 |
| GUESTLOST1 | What great insite Dodger! I think you may have hit the nail on the head. I may be thinking too much about the differences, and not concentrating on the similarities. We both love each other very much and enjoy each others company. We enjoy the same things and have a vision of how we would like to shape our futures. She is so sweet to me, and I try to do everything to make her happy. We are so very good for each other and I truly believe we'll have a great life together. Thank you for tweeking my thought processors. Take care. |
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