| Why do Chinese people,say they will do something,and do not! | |
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| Jul 10, 2008 01:26 | #11   |
| GUEST01124 | It's partly the culture. Just like when I travel and meet any Americans or westerners, most don't even bother to chat !! |
| Jul 11, 2008 18:44 | #12 |
 | this is a delicate subject i know but i have found that when had the pleasure of being in China that i was told that many visitors promise to contact when they get home but never do. well i was certain that i would not be one of those persons so when i got home i sent emails to all i had promised and so far only received replies from two out of forty seven contacts. the two that replied must have left Xian and gone to help the earthquake victims as they have not replied since then. i thought there may be some shut down of the internet before the games but it may just be that it is to much of a problem to reply. i will be returning to China next year but will not be so quick to promise to make contact but just enjoy the company then and there. i am mindful that communications for many persons is expensive but do Chinese people usually prefer their own company ?? if so i am very suprised because they made me feel "just like one of the family" so i thought that they enjoyed my company as much as i enjoyed theirs. here in Australia we usually only express enjoyment of anothers company if it is true - if we do not immedetly "like" somebody they can tell straight away. that is not to say that we are not polite but there is a difference between making someone feel "at home" or just tolerated. would appreciate the observations of a Chinese reader if possible - i am aware that some nations are peopled by souls whom are suspicious by nature and one would take some time to make "friends" but i did not feel this in China - i spent a month - visited many cities and places - speak no Chinese at all - used my little book of Mandarin - enjoyed every second of my time there and really felt "at home" and this was because the people were so much like Australians or so i felt and believe. |
| Jul 14, 2008 05:56 | #13 |
| Peter My guess is most Chinese will not be comfortable communicating with you in English over e-mails. If you can write Chinese, then it's a different story. The other thing is, friendship is not something you demand for, or get over a few meetings. Most Chinese are of the view that the "gwei lao" (foreign devils, apologies but that's a literal translation) are like ships passing in the night and will never be seen again. So no point cultivating friendship. Unless we're talking business, then it's different. It will be more like PR rather than genuine friendship. Oh there will be those lonely hearts, single ladies hoping to snare a western guy. They will put in some effort and see what happens. |
| Jul 14, 2008 19:13 | #14 |
| thanks KSWONG i really appreciate your reply - suppose i should not have been so silly to expect to receive more than PR. i was completely taken by the Chinese people and found them all so beaut to be with. it has changed my attitude to "foreigners " here in Australia. i now walk up to any that don't seem to be rushing off somewhere and offering any help that i can - you may be aware that in Australia we have a very diverse population and Chinese people have been part of our society from colonial days - the mayor of my city -Melbourne - was born in Singapore and speaks limited english and he is really loved by everybody - there is even a song "we love John So " i am going back to China next year and will do the same trip for a month and just hope that the friends that i made will eventually understand that not all "foreign Devils" are so shallow as to express friendship in a flippant or casual way. i am not in any way interested in a sexual way as a matter of fact i am sixty eight years old - however i did hope that one day some of these beaut Chinese people might find themselves in Melbourne where my door would be open to them and i might have the pleasure of extending Australian friendship which is earned and certainly not offered in a flippant way. have a wonderful day and thanks for your time and trouble in replying to me - it is most appreciated regards peter |
| Jul 18, 2008 10:59 | #15 |
| GUESTKEV | I think, if you spoke Chinese, you would be able to understand the Chinese's behaviour. People who cannot speak Chinese often missunderstand them. |
| Sep 3, 2008 11:04 | #16 |
| This is for GUESTOVE... in Xi'an. I am not looking for a local guide to show me around, but you sound like a fine person - a lot like my Chinese friends (recent immigrants) here in the US. You make good sense. A lot of "yanks" are different too. I will be in Xi'an from Nov 5 to Nov 7. I will have little time to meet local people, but would be most pleased to meet you Nov 5 or 6 evening if the opportunity could arise. If you would like to meet, please email to me. I leave the US on Nov 1. Thank you. - Jim |
| Sep 3, 2008 20:05 | #17 |
| GUEST22560 | No Problem Gustov. My wife will be perhaps working again full time again,and gone all the time.Nov 5 and 6th sound fine,except I live here in Guangzhou, and will have no travel to Xian as I am not too good at traveling alone,on the bus,and train.If you could come to Guangzhou,it would be fine.Otherwise please send your e-mail to me at hotmail.com|blueyankee44 as you sound like a sensible person.Its good you like the U.S.A.,I am living in Arizona, but prefer my home of the Finger Lakes in Central New York. Where are you living in the states. Thank you |
| Sep 4, 2008 05:44 | #18 |
| GUESTTOMMY | Hi i am a malaysia chinese, are you sure you can show me around when i come to shenzen.get to know you better, pls reply my mail yahoo.com|tmychong |
| Sep 17, 2008 07:30 | #19 |
| Hmmm, I think there are plenty of unreliable people in other countries. Have I found Chinese unreliable in the way Blueyank described? No, it has not been my experience at all. Of the many who offer to help me I choose not to follow up on quite a few, so maybe they feel I am not very friendly. If you smile at ppl and say things in English they will normally respond, I have found so much friendliness in China (but I cannot always get help when I need it, but as I have learnt so little Chinese, that's my fault, I think). Going for coffee in Starbucks for an arvo while carrying over a grudge about your other (and possibly better) half is not really the way to meet locals. I travel alone in China, I am often on my own, but I am rarely lonely. |
| Sep 18, 2008 09:57 | #20 |
| GUEST22247 | Appault; You are correct.Its not correct to blame only the Chinese.Its a trait all over the world.You see this problem at every level of society.Its not fair to single out one culture.Its also unfair to suggest as an undersatnding of a grudge.Purportionarely,I am weak on the descriptive angle at which you half heartedly show confusions.My Chinese is as good as my Korean,and Spanish.Its all more than just a few words.Its great that you are aware of how to ensue help when you need it.I have a formula,which lets me communicate with the language and acts as helpers.I am presently simplifying the language ,with a good amount of success.So it goes to prove I do not tell all,everything which is a credibile feat.In truth,the people in China are no more unrelaible than anywhere you could name.There are some who will not respond even when they hear English.When I am with people,I tend to have many worthy teachers,whom accept me,and do not leave me alone.I do have the problem of where even our friends leave us alone,when they believe we have no money and they will also expect us to pay for meals,they invite us to.Just for prosperity,here one for you and all who believe anything at all.Try to secure a large loan as we did to buy a Chinese home.You dont do this ,if you have no friends. Correct Am I telling the truth,or do I lie? |
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