Romancing a Chinese woman
Feb 18, 2009 16:49
I am going to China to meet a wonderful Chinese woman i have been corresponding with for the last four month. I have never dated a Chinese woman before, and want to get some advice on things to do, and things not to do. i really want her to feel that I am taking an interest in her culture, so I am learning little phrases, and want her to know I don't expect her to make all the changes. Is there anything in particulaur that Chinese woman like or dislike sexually. What can I do that will make her think I am the most romantic person in the world, and does anyone have any especially romantic places to go in Guangzhou. Thanks
Feb 18, 2009 22:38
GUEST23163 Ok first of all what is her ethnicity, being that she lives in Guangzhou she is probaly Cantonese which also can be divided into several diffrent groups. Each part of China has thier own unique culture which she can explain to you. Also does she speak english? I assume she does since you have said in other posts she is educated, if not does she speak Mandarin or Cantonese which are completely diffrent, so the phrases you are learning should correspond to what she speaks, also I can't stress enough if you are learning a little chinese be it Mandarin or Cantonese make sure you learn the tones (Mandarin uses 4 and 1 neutral, Cantonese 7) or you will say something you don't mean, for example The syllable ma for instance could mean horse mǎ (third tone), or mother mā (first tone) or scold mà (fourth tone) and even as a question ma (neutral tone) just by saying "ma" in different tones, you can ask, "Did mother scold the horse?" (mā mà mă ma?) As far as culture she will probably want to know more about you and will show you her way of life if she is really interested in you. If she is serious about the relationship then she will want to cook for you (if she does plan on making you her husband she will want to make soup for you) among other things to show you what a good wife she can be. As far as sex Chinese women are just like any other women diffrent strokes for diffrent If she is traditional then you can hang up any thoughts of sex but if she is modern then go with it she will tell you what she likes or doesn't like. Romantic spots in Guangzhou are many as this is a large city, lots of dinner spots and parks but most couples like to take a stroll along the Pearl river in the evening or take a river cruise. Chinese girls don't get a lot of affection from thier fathers or male figures in thier lives, this does not mean they are not loved this is just part of the culture in fact it is rare that a husband will tell his wife he loves her even though he does very much (you should know i love you) so be prepared to get asked questions like "why do you tell me you love me so much?". If she was born after 1980 then she is an only child as this is when the one child policy was implemented so be prepared to experiance child like tantrums as some only children were extremely spoiled, China has raised a generation of me first spoiled Chinese women also tend to treat thier husbands as children as a way of showing thier love and can be overbearing at times, a Chinese woman once said in an interview that "in public she will support her husband and not let him lose face but in the home she is the boss". I have lived and worked in China for two years and dated several Chinese women and married one and we are very happy but just like anywhere in the world the chemistry between the two has to be there. Good Luck!
Feb 19, 2009 01:58
GUESTZEN Looks like your objective is only sex with a Chinese woman. why do you think a Chinese woman is different from other races? typical western chauvisnistic male!!
Feb 19, 2009 05:40
Dear guestzen, you do not appear very Zen like to me, haha. It seems that you fall into one of two categories, the first being someone who has been hurt, and paints all men with the same brush, or you may be someone who is young, and thinks they know it all, and considers being rude, to be being real. in either case, the good news is that you will grow out of it, hopefully. I am not going to spend a lot of time defending myself to you, because it would be like spitting into a fan, I will just say that if you look at my post there is only one mention of sex, and i have not been with anyone in years, though I have had the opportunity, because i do not sleep with people who I do not care about. Over the last four months, I have really started to care about this girl, and we both have discussed sex, and I think that Chinese women are different hmmm, maybe because they are different, hehe. Good luck with the hatin' thing. Armand
Feb 19, 2009 05:56
Dear guest 23163, I thank you for you're insiteful response. The language thing is proving to be very difficult, I think it will be easier when I get there and am able to speak the language every day, and hear the inflections in her voice. Plus I think that I will learn fast because she is a teacher, and she told me she is very strict, and will bite me if i don't learn well and do my homework lol. She is Cantonese, but speaks both cantonese, and Mandarin, as well as English. She asked me which one I want to learn, and I think that Mandorin would be best, I understand that most people in mainland China speak it. I was laughing when I read the part about if she makes me soup, then she wants me as a husband, that is so cool, I wish everything in life were that simple, and I hope that soup will be on the menu when I visit. I understand that it was probably silly to ask about sex, but just like that soup, I didn't know if there was anything culturaul that I should know about it. Who knows, maybe if I kiss her belly button, we will have bad luck for 7 years. I am glad that you are not a mean person who told me that chinese women like it if you bring a live chicken to bed with you. Thanks for you're response, Armand
Feb 19, 2009 08:18
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From my experience Chinese women are not greatly different from any other. They like caring and tenderness and love to be loved. They can be jealous and very protective of their man. As for bedtime experiences that would depend on her previous experience and age. Where sex is concerned Chinese ladies can be quite shy and passive..... at first.
Feb 19, 2009 19:49
Thanks for you're reply Gaffer. The lady I am dating was really hurt by her ex husband who cheated on her, and i already experienced a little of the jealousy thing, not to bad though. I appreciate you're thoughts, thank you.
Feb 19, 2009 22:52
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One of the best things you can do,is not to ask these type of questions on this site. The people here are not very nice.
Feb 20, 2009 14:39
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I have found Chinese women to be very loving and loyal. They tend not to show their affection quite as much as western women, less 'I love you' and that sort of thing. As my gf tells me 'you know I love you so why do I need to tell you'.
The main problem you will experience is cultural, have patience to try to understand the things she says, often what is said will be thought of differently in our culture so take your time to understand her.
Feb 20, 2009 14:55
I've had some training in Gestalt,which is a way of thinking and speaking that teaches me to listen to the person with whom I am speaking, and put myself in there place kind of thing, and I think that this will help me. I was thinking about it, and I was worried about the language barrier, but it is not just language, it is a different way of thinking. Thanks Armand
Feb 21, 2009 00:34
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You may buy her a Chinese mandarin clothing:

She will like it. You can go to Foshan with her when you are at Guangzhou. It is a good place with many ancient culture.
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