| Romancing a Chinese woman | |
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| Feb 21, 2009 09:16 | #11   |
 | That sounds great, and it looks like Foshan is fairly close to Guangzhou. Thanks |
| Feb 21, 2009 09:35 | #12 |
| Just be yourself! |
| Feb 21, 2009 12:25 | #13 |
| Remember, you are probably as exotic to her as she is to you. However, it might be a good idea to let her do the talking and asking of questions. See what her perspective is. Let her show you around. Show that you care for her views and opinions. Let her tell you of her hopes and dreams. If this will be your first trip to China, you will see many things that seem very, very different from what you expected. Be stoic and do not complain or start making comparisons. When you see a shop selling flowers, tell her to take you there and buy her some. Be a good listener and be very patient and tolerant of the heat, humidity and crowds. Good luck and best wishes! |
| Feb 21, 2009 14:04 | #14 |
| Wow, what a great sight this is, I am really impressed with the insightful, and well thought out questions. I am good at being myself, and speaking from the heart, and I think that has a lot to do with what attracted her to me in the first place,I love to get her to laugh, and like to say things that will make her think. I am glad that you wrote that here, because it is something that I will need to remember when I am out of my element in China. Also, while listening is the key to any relationship, I think that it is even more so when a laguage barrier is present. I found that our first phone conversationwas a disaster, because I kept trying to ask questions, and kept talking, and to her it sounded like blah, blah, blah, haha, but when I slowed down, and let her slowly speak to me about what she wanted to talk about, it was great, I could hear how happy she was to teach me, and connect with me in that way. She loves it when I ask her to teach me chinese, and will go from sitting quietly on the phone, to initiating the conversation. I also think that the pressure is so much on her, to change, and learn my language, and move to the US, that I really, really, need to embrace where she comes from, especially when I don't think I will be able to learn fluent chinese, who knows, but I don't see it happening for a very long time anyway. And flowers are always great, I guess that is an international thing hehe. Thanks Armand |
| Feb 22, 2009 05:15 | #15 |
| I think what impresses many Chinese ladies the most are good manners. If you ever caught a bus in a busy Chinese city you will know that it is every man for himself. Holding back the mob to allow your lady to board the bus safely gives you many brownie points, but maybe a few hostile glares too. Holding doors open, carrying bags etc. are all little things that mean a lot to her. Last year I spent my first winter in south China. Usually the weather is mild (I was told), February 2008 was the coldest for 50 years! Few apartments in south China have heating...probably a small electric heater if you're lucky. It actually felt colder inside than out. Sitting eating dinner, even in restaurants, with several layers of sweaters and a coat seemed quite strange. However, the thing which probably endeered me to my partner the most was warming her side of the bed up before she got in :o) |
| Feb 22, 2009 06:25 | #16 |
| I should do allright then, I am of Italian desent, and don't believe womans lib., means that they should carry thier own bags, or open doors, haha. I have always enjoyed doing little things for my girl to let her know I care. I am worried about the crowds though, I think that in the same way I believe in being courteous to not just the lady I am with, but to all people around me, (it really bothers me here in America when people are rude), but with this said, I have been forewarned as to the mindset in China, and have resigned myself to the fact that there will be some pushing, and shoving, and will take it in stride. I am very stocky, and strong though, and this might come in handy if I my girl needs a slight ebb in the flow to get on the bus, haha. Thanks Armand |
| Mar 15, 2009 17:27 | #17 |
| GUEST75124 | I have found a site where you can get all your answers and men who married Chinese women and even some of them love living over there. I have a Chinese girlfriend and she is really wonderful . as for sex well it is a topic that often comes up when we meet someone and we have lots of laughs over this. Chinese women are loving and care about the husband the home and family. but I think you would do well to look at this site and you will find all your looking for. lots of great guys will give you your answers. just join as it's all free and there to help men who want to know all there is to know about China and it's women warm regards http://nanninginfosite.editboard.com/ |
| Mar 23, 2009 17:36 | #18 |
| GUEST69206 | Just wanted to add a postscript. This link was sent to me by a friend in the states. I just wanted to say that GUEST23163 - you are right on. I have been going to China for the past 30 years and have probably spent a total of 6-7 years living there. Learning to speak the language as an adult is rather difficult so please be careful.... The saving grace is that wherever we travel on this earth, you will probably find someone who speaks english (rather arrogant of us, don't you think?) Listen very carefully to the tone/inflection - it does make a difference. Guangzhou is a beautiful city (ask your friend why it is called the City of Five Goats) and the people are very friendly. I recommend the White Swan for a hotel. Wishes for a pleasant journey |
| Mar 24, 2009 14:00 | #19 |
| This time I agree with BY:s answer. The second one. Be yourself. That is simple and honest. If she likes you, she likes who you are, not who you act you are. And, believe or not, she knows you come from other culture. Carlos P.S. I am a nice person. Who says? I do. |
| Mar 29, 2009 23:46 | #20 |
| She is a woman and has all of the normal desires, hopes and dreams of women around the world. Chinese women seem to put more value/importance in marriage though than western women these days. There are plenty of young Chinese women with whom you can have frivolous good times, if this gal is hoping for marriage; treat her with respect, don't lead her on or take advantage of her. |
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