| Romancing a Chinese woman | |
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| May 18, 2009 19:53 | #31   |
| GUESTR-MAN | I have been to China several times. How you act. Shake with both hands. Nod your head to people you meet. When you are with her in the open, say very little and smile a lot. Do not wear loud clothes. LOSE WEIGHT, Chinese are prejudice against overweight white males. Passively take charge taking in consideration all her opinions. Do this for a week then when you are alone if she is in the mood she will get you tea and sit next to you and look at you for like 15 minutes. That is when you make your move. |
| Jun 13, 2009 13:19 | #32 |
| GUEST18142 | well experience says that a chinese girls is shy in most cases though they like sex.other thing is satisfaction of her.if you cant satisfy her sexually there would be trouble.once they enjoy it they will demand it frequently.they say i am a traditional girl but infact she is not.most virgin girls are not beautiful so they are left virgin.and those who are beautiful they are no more virgin after 20 years of age. they always like you tell them i love you for ever and give her ride on your back,give her a chinese massage (in room)...lol |
| Aug 23, 2009 02:59 | #33 |
| GUESTME | I am dating a real Mandarin Chinese woman and I see she is cold no type emotions that you would get from western women. Very much they want to be the boss.No holding hands and kissing or affection out in public sometimes even in private. Very different from western women. The total opposite very pretty to look at not to great on affection and feelings. If you know how to change this behavior please send advice. |
| Sep 14, 2009 02:01 | #34 |
 | Seriously. You should try to be yourself. I went to China last year and married my sweetheart in Shenyang. I'm still waiting for her Visa interview in Guangzhou to come through. She does not speak English and I do not speak Chinese. I used a small traveling computer to communicate with each other. Bought it on eBay from Taiwan. We know what we both want in life and are totally compatible. She's the sweetest girl in the world and I'm lucky to have her as my wife. I have been through so much RED tape that it's coming out of my eyeballs!! The paper work involved in trying to set up her Visa is mind boggling. I married her in Shenyang, China. It's taking me over a year now to set up her Visa Interview in Guangzhou. Still WAITING!! I now know that the fastest way to get her into the USA is to apply for the K1 fiance VISA. With a K1 Visa she can "Visit" for 90 days. Within that 90 days you can marry her and she will stay with you through the Immigration paperwork process which can take a long time. Marry her in your own country. Do not marry her in China. It will take forever to run through the RED tape. This is my advice to you. One more thing. If you are like me and find Asian women very attractive then try to keep your EYEBALLS fixed on your girl. I know it's hard once you are roaming around the countryside but the girl you are with needs to know that you are only into her. China has many gorgeous women walking around so don't get caught staring at other girls. |
| Nov 24, 2009 15:44 | #35 |
| GUEST99242 | chinese woman has a different power inside! i think they are so attractive and pretty at first side but some behaves can be unexpected such as splitting or through voices....woman thinks here man and woman equal which i cant accept :) woman is the boss of house. i wish you good luck. hope you can find your suitable lady in china. be patient and try to understand even you feel and sure you understand well but might be missunderstanding:)) difficult way but i believe they lie chatting on every subject so try to speak more and leanr more. about sex i believe they are so open and will make their man the king;) just show your lady that you care her too much and be kind my friend . lucks ! |
| Dec 17, 2009 12:13 | #36 |
| GUEST79233 | I don't like people giving me followers. Sex is great. I am a 25 year old Chinese woman :) |
| Jan 18, 2010 01:06 | #37 |
| GUEST64810 | Hi Armand. A word of warning about divorcees (doesn't matter what culture): statistics show that (yes, I know about 'dammned lies and statistics but, facts are facts) 70 per cent of divorcees redivorce. Although I am sure you have (after four months) discussed the reasons behind your gf's divorce, remember it is all her side of the story. I have a Singaporean galfriend whom I have known for eight years. From the beginning when I first met her in 2003 she nitpicked on me, easily berated me, and is sometimes mean-spirited, nasty with her words and even violent (Sometimes she throws temper tantrums when driving, for example). Your relationship with this woman is going to be fraught with many difficulties, perhaps the biggest source of them being the true reasons this woman cut off her husband (which is a big loss of face in Chinese culture both for the man and the woman). |
| Jan 18, 2010 01:08 | #38 |
| GUEST64810 | It is without doubt that after only four months, she has not told you all the reasons for her decision to divorce (note: statistics also show that 70 per cent of divorces are initiated by the WOMAN). And, it is impossible for her to tell you the real reasons because she will want to marry you first before telling you (and even then, it will be up to her and she may never tell you). From my experience (I had a Cantonese galfriend many years ago), Chinese women (men are even worse) are extremely secretive, based on the ancient cultural need or in-built programming to never lose face even if it means death; they would prefer to abort their own children (but cheaply of course) if it means they will not lose face, much more so I believe than a Western woman (keep this in mind if you have not discussed having children yet). Not only are they secretive, they are extremely calculating and manipulative, and usually very spiritually shallow (having been immersed in a non-monotheistic culture for basically thousands of years) in the sense of being responsible for their actions before a supreme spiritual authority: face comes before EVERYTHING and, if your galfriend is a buddhist or Taoist or something along those lines and still worships idols or dead relatives (totally normal in China and all ASEAN cultures except the Muslim) then you will also have to endure many strange things such as not being able to marry on an 'inauspicious month' such as August ('Hungry Ghost Month') and i am not sure you, being a young professional, are willing and ready to endure the grief and torment that all these things will bring upon you. |
| Jan 18, 2010 01:11 | #39 |
| GUEST64810 | By the way, I am not a bitter ex and have not been married; in fact I am a virgin at 45. Tiring of the money-grubbing, materialistic self-centred egotistic and man-hating Western woman (and the Zionist media that constantly brainwashes Westerners into accepting the Marxist lies and Hegelian dialectic as the most appropriate way of life), I sought a wife whom I thought would be traditional. Unfortunately, because Singapore is one of (if not the most) materialistic countries and cultures in the WORLD (didn't know that until I went there) with more modern branded shopping malls per capita than any other country, I did not know that Singaporean women are perhaps the most 'liberated' and 'feminist' women in the world and, hence, with my galfriend earning three times my salary (when I can get work in IT), and having worked hard to climb the corporate ladder, it was something of not a shock to be told by her father recently that he felt I needed to wait a bit longer (after eight years) to marry her, since I don't have a good enough job (I have had to move to China from Singapore to get one, as without PR in Singapore, you don't have a chance unless you are INDIAN and have programming skills, or you're MAINLAND CHINESE or INDIAN and are willing to work without any minimum wage or benefits -- trust me, there are hundreds of thousands of these people in Singapore and they're increasing by the day, as Singaporeans refuse to work for low pay and non benefits and must -- to save face -- work in office jobs etc.). So, there's my story for ya and it's a bit sad, since I do love my galfriend. But the fact is she IS Chinese and boy, if you haven't done your due diligence on this one, believe me a little bit of poon will definitely not go a long way in this case. My prediction is you will divorce within the first year, as (whether you like it or not) her motives for wanting to marry you are HIGHLY SUSPECT. Did you know that the average salary in her home town is something like US $2000 a year, perhaps less? Did you know that if you marry her, many of her relatives and friends (and her culture) will consider that she is a prostitute in a sense, and a traitor to her culture? You're a nice guy; but your idea that you can learn her language (and culture IS the language) within a short time is a joke and it shows your lack of understanding and preparation: there are more than 3000 pictographs used in the Chinese languages to denote meaning. English has 26 characters and is a very rich language indeed (with a history, perhaps, that goes further back than the Chinese language); yet with such few characters, so much can be said. I think you need to lose your rose-colored glasses for your own good (though it's painful) and REALISE that the COMPLEXITY of the Chinese language REFLECTS the COMPLEXITY of the Chinese culture. |
| Jan 18, 2010 01:12 | #40 |
| GUEST64810 | Perhaps the reason the Chinese have never bothered to simplify their language is because the culture as a whole might 'lose face.' Have you ever thought about that? Yet the complexity of the language makes doing business with the Chinese extremely arduous and frustratingly slow, if your Chinese business partner speaks or understands little English. The Chinese are the same as their language; they will never change what they said, did, or what they meant to say or do, or what they want you to think they meant to say or so, if it means they will 'lose face.' I cannot (probably) get across to you the supreme importance of this idea of 'face' in their culture and it permeates EVERYTHING, so your relationship with this gal has not begun because she wants it, so much as you want it; and it has not begun by chance but more so by design (once she decided to get involved i mean), because she has designs on you. My advice to you is, if she has been recently divorced (less than three years) or she won't tell you the real reasons she had to get divorced (there were 250,000 divorces in China las year and that is a conservative number based on fake government statistics) or the REAL reason she wants to marry you (remember what I said: FACE comes before EVERYTHING including 'love' which is a foreign concept in China and a Western import; true love does not by and large exist in the cultural mindset here because a wife is considered as property and an asset to be used according to the husband's (AND HIS MOTHER'S) wishes; property, money, career goals, nice job, credit (did I mention Money?) are the MAIN reasons people marry here -- the idea of 'love' being a reason to marry is a poor Western imported joke and the average man here has no consideration whatsoever of this: he is in it for the sex and to have the wife as an asset. Because of this attitude by the men, women in China are used to being dominated and controlled but they have developed MANY coping strategies for this and you had better get this right; if you marry this one, be sure that she will become the power in your family and not you! Her extended family will become the template for every decision (don't be surprised if she wants to invite them to visit you or to stay in the hotel with you on your honeymoon), unless you are an extremely strong individual and can stomach a nagging, domineering, abusive woman who dumped her last husband in spite of the huge social stigma it would cause her, because she met YOU. |
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