| Is Michelle a good name? | |
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| Apr 9, 2010 01:39 | #51  |
 | Hmm... seems I missed quite a bit... But I think I'm lucky to miss the talking between the three muskateers... But when will Dodger pay for your trip, Bob? I really look forward to it... But who's Mr. Wang? And there's meaning? I'm confused with that part... |
| Apr 9, 2010 02:21 | #52 |
| Don't be concerned Yolanda. Dodger is always confusing. That's what happens when you get very old like he is. He often forgets things, like going to the toilet, bathing, putting on his pants, his name, remembering where he left his teeth, One day soon he will forget what CTG is and we will all have some peace again |
| Apr 9, 2010 04:56 | #53 |
| Hi Yolanda, Mr Wang is our sword maker of a menacing kind. Sometimes he could be untrusting. Mr Wang has shown us how to use our swords no matter what the condition, or size. Mr Wang was the 4th musketeer and taught Bobert everything he knew. But a warning to everyone here on the forum, keep your hands and feet away from Bobert and DONT feed him, or let him play with matches. I fear what I will see when I come back, Dodger keep a lid on things, and Bobert keep your sword clean,, and if your a good boy Dodger and I will take you on that helicopter ride I told you about. Yolanda my advice to you, wear alot of clothing, if your going to be around us. Just joking,,, you dont have to. Oh GOSH, thats Boberts line,, sorry Dartantion, talk to you guys later in the 3rd week. Bobert dont burn down the TCG, I want something to come back to. |
| Apr 9, 2010 05:46 | #54 |
| Bob, or if you would prefer, D’Artagnan, my apologies for my absence, I’ve been rather busy of late. But back to the main thrust of my message; in the committees hast to meet the press deadline I accidentally omitted one of the other prizes that is included in the overall package. On that long journey across the Mongolian hinterland swaying backward and forward on the back of either Ying or Yang, there is nothing like getting stuck into a really good book. I know that with your busy schedule you have had little time to read lately so will appreciate this more than most. With much debate it was decided to include Dale Carnegie’s best seller from incidentally the year of your birth, 1937, entitled ‘How to win friends and influence people’. When you arrive at the camp site of the Werethfykawei clan, incidentally, one of the oldest in the region, and gather with them around the dried Yak dung fueled fire to join them in singing their very own Mongolian version of Kum By Ya, you will have your very own captured audience, who you then have the opportunity to teach the Carnegie principles too. Forewarned is to be forearmed, as they say, so I thought I should give you a ‘heads up’ on the clans way of greeting honoured guests. They have their very own fermented drink, made, as I understand from a mixture of goats’ milk and Yaks urine. They will hand you a sheep’s bladder full of it, and expect you to drink it all. My tip, don’t refuse. It could turn nasty. It’s difficult to translate the name of this ceremony from Mongolian to English, but a rough translation would be ‘Taking the Piss’. The only thing that CTG asks in return for this prize is that you post a report for fellow travelers to read on this web site. In closing can I add that your most recent posts have already earned you points for the same prize next year. Well done. Bon voyage, Dodger. |
| Apr 9, 2010 18:22 | #55 |
| As You know d'Artagnon is not an actual muskateer so we have one vacant position left to fill. Yolanda is the perfect choice. I know she is female but providing she promises to speak in a low guttural voice, swear and curse often, spit a lot, and occasionally scratch her nether region. she should get away with it. Of course she must wear traditional muskateer tights so a banana will be provided to comple the illusion of manhood. So now we are complete. We have Yolanda, AKA Aramis. Larry, AKA Athos. And Dodger, AKA Porthos. One for all and all for one! |
| Apr 9, 2010 18:35 | #56 |
| This is D'Artagnan, your foreign correspondent reporting live from the wilds of Baotuo, Mongolia. You might be wondering how I got here so fast. I decided against using the "slow boat to China" ticket you kindly awarded me and chose a business class flight instead. The kindly Mister Wangk met me at the Tianjin international airport with his two yaks and voluptuous daughter. We proceeded directly to Buotuo by Yak. I wont bore you with the details of my journey but I would like to you to know that Mister Wangk's daughter is a very bountiful and accommodating young woman. It turns out she has a strange passion for older western men and is particularly fond of Australians. She insisted on riding the same Yak as me but chose to face me all the way. To say her riding style was unusual would be a great understatement. The rythmic movement of our Yak as we rode slowly across the desert entwined in each others bodies was.......but I digress. On arrival in Baotuo I located the "Werethfykawei" clan and was welcomed most warmly. They gave me the tribal name of "bobursobig" and then explained the initiation ceremony. It seems that to become a tribe member, I must prove my virility many times over. To this end, 100 maidens from the tribe have volunteered to test my endurance. I have been in town less than 24 hours and so far 27 have verified my stamina. Another couple of days and 73 more tests and I will be a fully fledged tribe member. I will report back then. I have just one thing to add before I sign off.... Thank you Dodger..and god bless you! |
Last edited by BOBERT: Apr 9, 2010 19:18 |
| Apr 10, 2010 03:57 | #57 |
| [D’Artagnan, On behalf of the committee and this forum can I thank you for you brilliantly written report, but can I say, we expected no less. You continue to raise the bar in standards of eloquence. I fear though that the fermented yaks’ urine may have coursed some side effects to your mental health. Not irreversible I hasten to add. I’m told they wear off in a few days. This stuff could easily be used to fuel a plane, or to fry a brain, and that old friend is what happened to you. It has extremely strong hallucinatory and delusionary side effects, much like the magic mushrooms of you youth, that leaves the user convinced that they extraordinary powers. Freud’s theory was that it highlighted the very things that the sufferer was least good at. But the most worrying thing for me is that you fell for the charms of the Yak Drivers daughter! She is known (I refer to the biblical use of the term) by many of the clan or the Werethfykawei, and referred to as the ‘camp yak’, offering a free ride for all comers. Yuk! I’ve been able to make contact with Larry, just catching him before he goes off on his holidays. He’s been kind enough to forward me the name and contact number for the missionary in Baotuo. I was quick enough to catch Henry Stanley before he had left for his ministry. He asked how to recognize you. My reply was to look for a very gaunt man, wearing a very well worn akubra, possibly with corks hanging from the brim and reciting in a monotonous tone, over and over again, ‘The Man from Snowy river’ He has already set off with bearers and a litter to transport you as quickly as possible back to his mission clinic. He assures me he does have the latest antibiotics on hand. Let’s hope it’s not too late. I hear the girl had a particularly nasty strain of this STD. Because I feel partly responsible for the outcome of you trip, I’m sending up my own nurse; Nurse Wang (no relation) to collect you and bring you back, via ‘soft sleeper’ to Beijing. I will personally meet you at the station. Incidentally, there’s a Mongolian theater/restaurant very close to were I live, staffed entirely by Mongolian. I asked what was the meaning of the name that they gave you. It took quite some time before they revealed the real meaning of the name in its proper context. Not wishing to give you further embarrassment I will not publish it here. Good luck and God speed. Porthos. |
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