Do you mind if your woman has no job?

Do you mind if your woman has no job?
Aug 1, 2010 23:00	#11
CHERRY07 Points: Join Date: Mar 23, 2008 Status: Offline	“It has been proven that after women started to work, kids have had worse lifes.” It might be true. But you should know that some families have no other choices, for example, off-farm workers in China. In order to support their families, both husband and wife go to big cities to work for money. Most of them leave their children at home, taken cared by their grand-parents. Some of the kids feel lonely, even have psychological problems. This is reality. Their parents go outside to make money for a living. Of course, their mothers can stay at home. But only his husband’s income can’t support the whole family. The ordinary people’s lives are not as miserable as those off-farm workers’. But the wives also need to work too. They have kids to feed, parents to support and house loans to pay. In the meantime, the living costs are hiking. How could they stay at home? Like the off-farm workers, their kids are taken care of by their parents too. We may blame that their husbands are incapable. As a man, you have to burden the responsibility to support your family. If you fail to support your family, you are a loser. Men work outside to support the family and women stay at home to take care of their families. This is an old Chinese tradition. But this has changed in today’s society. For most ordinary families, it is not realistic because their husbands are not millionaires or billionaires. They are just ordinary men but not losers. At least, they are trying their best to make money and support their families. See, that’s why a lot of Chinese girls are dreaming of marrying a millionaire or billionaire. If their dream comes true, they will never worry about their livings any more. Such girls are just seeking shortcuts. Don’t know how many of them will succeed. I am not that type of girl. I understand that there are no free meals. If you want to get something, you should make sacrifice first. More importantly, I understand how hard it is for a man to support a whole family. Thus, I’d like to share the burden with my husband in the future. Even we become successful one day, I won’t just stay at home because I want independence. Clarification: I didn’t say that all home mothers are parasites. Parasites refer to those women who live in unearned life. They don’t want to make any efforts but want to have a very decent life. The easiest way for them is to find a sugar daddy. By the way, you seem to live a very decent life. You needn’t worry too much about anything like the off-farm workers or ordinary families in China, right? Then your wife needn’t work outside.

Aug 1, 2010 23:00

#11

CHERRY07
Points:
Join Date: Mar 23, 2008
Status: Offline

“It has been proven that after women started to work, kids have had worse lifes.”
It might be true. But you should know that some families have no other choices, for example, off-farm workers in China. In order to support their families, both husband and wife go to big cities to work for money. Most of them leave their children at home, taken cared by their grand-parents. Some of the kids feel lonely, even have psychological problems.

This is reality. Their parents go outside to make money for a living. Of course, their mothers can stay at home. But only his husband’s income can’t support the whole family.

The ordinary people’s lives are not as miserable as those off-farm workers’. But the wives also need to work too. They have kids to feed, parents to support and house loans to pay. In the meantime, the living costs are hiking. How could they stay at home? Like the off-farm workers, their kids are taken care of by their parents too.

We may blame that their husbands are incapable. As a man, you have to burden the responsibility to support your family. If you fail to support your family, you are a loser. Men work outside to support the family and women stay at home to take care of their families. This is an old Chinese tradition. But this has changed in today’s society. For most ordinary families, it is not realistic because their husbands are not millionaires or billionaires. They are just ordinary men but not losers. At least, they are trying their best to make money and support their families.

See, that’s why a lot of Chinese girls are dreaming of marrying a millionaire or billionaire. If their dream comes true, they will never worry about their livings any more.

Such girls are just seeking shortcuts. Don’t know how many of them will succeed. I am not that type of girl. I understand that there are no free meals. If you want to get something, you should make sacrifice first. More importantly, I understand how hard it is for a man to support a whole family. Thus, I’d like to share the burden with my husband in the future. Even we become successful one day, I won’t just stay at home because I want independence.

Clarification: I didn’t say that all home mothers are parasites. Parasites refer to those women who live in unearned life. They don’t want to make any efforts but want to have a very decent life. The easiest way for them is to find a sugar daddy.

By the way, you seem to live a very decent life. You needn’t worry too much about anything like the off-farm workers or ordinary families in China, right? Then your wife needn’t work outside.

Sep 9, 2010 02:50	#12
ONMYWAY Points: Join Date: Jul 21, 2010 Status: Offline	Cherry, were you trying to write a thesis to clarify your views? I read it and it is nice. Do you mind if your woman has no job? I don't mind. I will try my best to make money to make her live comfortably. And it will be nicer if she is willing to help me. I mean, taking a job.

Sep 19, 2010 01:33

#13

CARLOS
Points:
Join Date: Sep 10, 2007
Status: Offline

"Carlos, the guy who is rich enought doesn't have to let his wife stay home to take care of housechores and children coz he can buy the service. In a developed and matual society, female has equal values to their opposit sex in terms of contributions to family life, social life and ecomomic life. "

Coolsprings, that's exactly what I mean, only in the opposite way.

To buy the service? I was talking about the good of the children, not the "good" of the parents. The good for the parents comes afterwards when they see their children flying away from home with balanced minds and warm thoughts about their parents. If someone is rich ( I am not), he/she can still think other than themselves, family, children.

Yes, nowadays women has values that rips them off from home and family.

You will see that in the future, not so far from now, only a couple of generations, chinese young adults will have equal values than western ones. The values are me, me, and me...

Carlos

PS. Why in earth thinking about what really is good for the family and acting like that is always considered as a question about equality of man and woman??

Sep 19, 2010 17:46

#14

MARRIE
Points:
Join Date: Jan 7, 2008
Status: Offline

Kids feel warm staying with mom and dad. Kids are given as much as what mom and dad can provide to support kids grow healthy. There is no equation between women staying at home and children owning lovely family. If mom and dad are good enough as life guide through their delivery of values in terms of facing hardships, happiness, Kids would be mostly likely to be well influenced. Kids when becoming adults, would be mostly likely to be good mom and dad. Besides, they have me, me, me, they are inherited the value of my family, my family, my family..if kids become the big ones that are able to benefit the big society, they realize the big ME and become the pride of MY family. So what has to do with woman staying at home without job? Carlos, how do you educate your daughter to realize her value. There is no right or wrong it depends on individul situations.

Sep 20, 2010 01:40

#15

CARLOS
Points:
Join Date: Sep 10, 2007
Status: Offline

"Carlos, how do you educate your daughter to realize her value."

Marrie, I don't. I only try to live my life quided with my values and hope it is the right way. I also hope my daughters will find that good life is not always fighting for to get but to give.

"So what has to do with woman staying at home without job?"

If woman stays home "without job", she should get a job instead of staying home. If she stays home for family, her husband should respect her for that and give all possible support for her. The social net, friends, relatives, even neighbours should also respect her decision. Making that kind of decision is not making a decision between equality of wife and husband or other people, it is a decision between values. Any time it becomes a question of equality, whoever thinks it that way, should it not be committed.

In my former comment I said that it is proven kids feel worse nowadays than earlier when their mothers were at home for them. It really is proven in several studies.It is not because mothers have gone to work and put the kids to a kindercarten, it is because of the desperate need of women to be "equal" and that need is so strong that all other, really important things are forgotten.

Carlos

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