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Empty-nest crisis in China
Sep 20, 2010 03:14
  • CHERRY07
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A report claims that more and more Chinese families are transforming to “empty-nests”. As young people go to college or start their own career, their parents are left at home to live on their own. These are called “empty-nest” families. And these parents are usually in their late forties or fifties.

Honestly, my family is one of the empty nests. My little sister studied in a college in Tianjin. This year, she graduated and stayed there because she found a job in Tianjin. I have been working in Xi’an for three years since my graduation in 2007. And Xi’an is not my hometown. Currently, only my dad and mom are at home. We just get back home during the holidays.

Like other parents in empty-nests, my parents feel lonely since my sister and I are both not at home. They require us to make a call every week. Sometimes, they will be worried if we forget to call them. And we feel guilty for not being with them.

How do you guys deal with this? Do you have similar experience like me?


Sep 20, 2010 04:21
#1  
  • GAFFER
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This is a natural progession from childhood to adulthood and would happen anyway when you got married. Obviously parents are concerned and worry when their "babies" fly the nest into the big bad world, but this should be the time when they think of themselves and not "the family". They should think about the things they would like to do, perhaps travel, hobbies or whatever they enjoy. Of course the children are busy with their new adventures and probably have less time to think about parents, who, for many years have done nothing but think about their children. My advice is to make plenty of time for phone calls, but also write letters (yes on paper). They will be more treasured than phone calls or emails.
Sep 25, 2010 02:40
#2  
  • CHERRY07
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Gaffer, it would be much better if my parents could think about this like you. My mom always wants to keep us around her. My dad is different. He always persuades my mom to change her mind. He told my mom: "Why do we work so hard to let them go to college? We just want them to live better than us. I don't want them to do manual labor like us. Now they are grow-ups. It is time for them to see the real world and live their own lives." Unfortunately, my mom didn't think so.
Sep 28, 2010 02:13
#3  
  • CHARLOTT
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Cherry, don't give up. Just do your best to be a successful lady and then you can pick them up and let them stay with you together.
Sep 29, 2010 22:21
#4  
  • CHERRY07
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Thanks, Charlott. To be a successful lady is my dream. I will go back home during the national day holiday to visit them. And I am planning to travel with them when I am free.
Apr 3, 2013 23:12
#5  
GUESTRICHARD I am writhing a assay about the nest family and your experiences have impressed me a lot. I hope you have solved your question.
Apr 26, 2013 17:23
#6  
  • NOBODY
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I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this question. Many foreigners have a different mind set. (Me too) For us it is common that the parents live on their own, or that sometimes the parents (grandparents) are busier than us. If you can, you start your life again with 50-55, because your kids are old enough to look after themselves and you have more time and money (retirement)
May 4, 2013 01:10
#7  
  • CHERRY07
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Many foreigners have a different mind set.

Yes, Chinese parents seem to have no time to think about themselves. They spend all their time on their children. They take care of their children until they go to college. After graduation, they are worried whether their children can find a job. When their children get married, they prepare for taking care of their grandchildren. They seem to be much more busier than western parents.
Jun 4, 2013 14:20
#8  
  • NOBODY
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Much busier than western grandparents? I"m not sure about that, i think it's just a different kind of busy.
Jun 6, 2013 01:24
#9  
  • CHERRY07
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Quote:

Originally Posted by NOBODY

Much busier than western grandparents? I"m not sure about that, i think it's just a different kind of busy.


Really? I think Chinese grandparents are much busier than western grandparents. They could have enjoyed their late life after retirement. But they sacrifice themselves to take care of their grandchildren. They have no time to travel. What about western grandparents? I see many old foreign travelers come to visit China. They have time to enjoy their late life.
Jun 6, 2013 22:14
#10  
  • NOBODY
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Quote:

Originally Posted by CHERRY07 View Post



Really? I think Chinese grandparents are much busier than western grandparents. They could have enjoyed their late life after retirement. But they sacrifice themselves to take care of their grandchildren. They have no time to travel. What about western grandparents? I see many old foreign travelers come to visit China. They ha...


But that's what makes them so busy. Chinese Grandparents "sacrifice" themselves to take care of their grand children. Western elderly people have many hobbies and because of this too busy, often they still find time to play with the grand kids but not as often as Chinese.
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