| SHE WANTS TO COME TO ENGLAND AND TAKE ME TO CHINA TO MARRY HER | |
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| Mar 15, 2011 15:06 |   |
 | I am mid 50's. A Chinese female mid 30's, never married, has corresponded with me just 8 letters each via a Chinese dating site. Photos exchanged. Does not poke into my life asking any personal questions. Now wants to come to England to be with me for 14 days. Says if we are compatible wants me to go back to China with her and get married. Most of the things that a man dreams of a wife being to him she has offered without any prompting. Even tells me not want for money as well off. Even claims never had a boyfriend (no, she is not ugly!). Yes, would say complete opposite of what one reads and believes a Chinese lady would say / come out with. Too good to be true? Anyone else encountered a similar experience? Thanks! |
| Mar 15, 2011 22:34 | #1 |
| Most of the things that a man dreams of a wife being to him she has offered without any prompting. Even tells me not want for money as well off. Even claims never had a boyfriend (no, she is not ugly!). Congratulations to you if it is true. But I do not believe you can figure out whether you are compatible when you two stay together for 14 days. Also it is too prompt to get married with her after being with her for 14 days. |
| Mar 16, 2011 04:03 | #2 |
| GUEST16200 | Yes, agreed on the points you state. I do understand every person is different/ unique?, so compatibility is always the issue. But I am surprised of this, or is this the norm with unattached Chinese females who are maybe thinking they are leaving it a bit late to get married, and the availability of an English gentleman (ha!)is their dream or idealist. So, I wanted to know if anyone else had encountered this scenario, or heard of such. I would like to know their final outcome. Thanks. |
| Mar 17, 2011 04:15 | #3 |
| GUEST94154 | a) She will find it difficult to get a UK tourist visa as a single Asian female. b) Where will you live after the wedding |
| Mar 17, 2011 18:14 | #4 |
| Hello veryluck If she is not ugly, she may very difficult to be with...or doesnt like to go out at all... Its not normal at her age have never had a bf b4. I dont want to say she is bullshit you or the people help u communicate was bullshit you. In China , mid-30's girls wish get married as soon as possible. As a chinese girl at early 30s I can feel the pressure too. In dating , if she tell a chinese boy she is mid-30s and never have bf, chinese boy wont believe it. But come on , you want to marry someone who can understand you and support you when you down not a girl rush to marry u to get a passport. And divoice you to share your asset!!! |
| Mar 18, 2011 03:43 | #5 |
| GUEST19762 | Dear all who care to respond to these boards, Thank you for advice on my vice, visa, etc! Any (polite) comments are always welcome. When I was 18 I met a girl who showed a lot of interest in me. I put myself down, thinking I was not good enough for her. I asked myself why a pretty girl with the loveliest personality that one could ever wish to meet wish to be with me. No one knows what the outcome would have been had I pursued, and I did live to regret. My brother has been married for 28 years, has now had his English wife leave him for another man, whom has nothing at all to offer except as a drinking companion. He has never ever done anything untoward in his marriage, or life come to that, and does not deserve this at all. So, do we sit and think negative about what will happen if we hook up with someone, how long will it last, what if…. etc. I have spent a lot of time on the Internet studying the opinions and beliefs of Chinese culture and women. The more time one spends on this; contradiction is the order of the day. A Chinese girl living in the UK that I know very well and is a true friend is probably the complete opposite of what you can read and thus believe. I am not going into detail about her, but I can assure you that her personality is such that you would definitely throw out the red rulebook! I came here as I was hoping to hear from someone who might have encountered similar to myself. That is, where the Chinese female actually comes to England, or another Western country, instead of the norm. Of course, until we actually meet up and spend time together, I would not know what this Lan (for personal reasons, this is not her actual name) is truly like or about. She has now offered to stay for 30 days. Apparently, her father is man of his own means, and can sort out her visa. So we are not talking about a couple packets of cigarettes slipped into someone’s sweaty palms! It might be that I am difficult to be with. After all, have had three long-term girlfriends, but never married, and am all on my lonesome :-< The only person I was engaged to and would have married left me for someone else. I felt at the time I would be scarred for life, and it did take a very long time indeed to recover from. Getting to the stage (and age!) where one thinks what’s happened with my life? After all, I do have time on my hands to spend hours on the Internet. How sad is that! And to be honest, I do not like to conform. So I have decided to go against the grain and pursue this current scenario. ....Continued on next page (I am over character count limit!).... |
| Mar 18, 2011 03:45 | #6 |
| GUEST19762 | ...Continued… Although we are anonymous here, I am a man who would not tell the world all what has been said between the two of us. If I have been told all white lies, then there will be no future in our relationship. But if at least half of what is cotia, then I have no complaints, and I could be a very lucky man indeed! I know there are bad people out there. I have encountered more than once such types. Befriend me, and then attempt to move in on my business, including stealing. But I am a person who does not go through life begrudging and hating everyone, forever looking over my shoulder. I do look for the positives in life, and unless someone has personally done the dirty on yours truly, they do have a ‘chance’ with me. Even if the other person is attempting to be on ‘best behaviour’, people always show their true personalities and upbringing without knowing it. And there are always discreet ways to test a person. As for passport to freedom, this can work both ways can it not? It does bemuse me when so many people accuse the female of untoward prior to any agreement or union. Lan has said she will go with me wherever I choose, be it China, United Kingdom, etc. Here, in England, my life and profession are at a stalemate. So yes, I too am interested in what someone else and somewhere else has to offer. Does writing all this put things in a different perspective? Thank you for reading this. |
| Mar 18, 2011 07:18 | #7 |
| Verylucky, Thanks for a heartfelt post. It was much appreciated. ‘Too good to be true’. Not necessarily. I talk to many Chinese Ladies every day. Most are unbelievably stunning, intelligent, and well bred. But most are sadly single, much to my continued amazement. Socializing between the sexes in China does seem from a western perspective to appear to be some what dysfunctional, and may not have caught up with their other great leaps into the modern world. But I could be completely wrong on this.. But back to ‘ugly’ for a moment; I have never met an ugly woman. They all, in some ways offer a certain charm; from the old to the young.. To the ‘compatible’ question; quite normal from a Chinese man or woman’s perspective, as I understand it. And too many tarry at the door waiting for the perfect one. My only regret is that I did not meet my wife earlier. Go for it. What do you have to lose? Cheers, Dodger. |
| Mar 30, 2011 03:07 | #8 |
| GUEST73131 | Hi VERYLUCK, No one can judge if this woman true or not... but it's better you come to see her first...then you will see who she is. Good luck! |
| Mar 30, 2011 03:37 | #9 |
| GUEST21869 | Yes, probably too good to be true. Told me coming over in May. However... ..no replies to me last 3 emails sent since 21st March. Maybe SHE has found someone to chase HER instead. Or possibly someone else writing on her 'behalf'?. Oh well. Nothing ventured etc Nothing lost either. A lot of time corresponding FOR NOTHING I can write off! Very disappointing though. Thanks. ps. just stumbled on cherryblossoms site. Does include Chinese. Appears to be a genuine site for direct contact. |
| May 16, 2011 08:03 | #10 |
| GUESTMIKE | i would love the change to go to china,i dont want to live in this modern place any more, so i need a change of life and life stiyle living there would make my life better |
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