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Angry!My french boyfriend wants me to pay half when we date!
Jul 24, 2011 00:48
guest00249 He didnt treat me as a lady by that!Is that a western culture that girlfriends has to pay date bills?
Jul 24, 2011 01:08
#1  
GUEST4320
Quote:

Originally Posted by GUEST00249

He didnt treat me as a lady by that!Is that a western culture that girlfriends has to pay date bills?


Haven't you heard about "Go Dutch" before? You didn't pay all the bill but just a part of it.

He must know little about Chinese culture. You needn't feel angry. It is his culture.

By the way, my girlfriend is different. We have meals together many times. I am the one who pays the bill most of the time. You know, she also pays the bill too. She said that she got a job and could pay for the bill. It isn't ok that I pay the bill every time.
Jul 24, 2011 01:33
#2  
GUEST00249 I understand what you said.I did pay things.I gave gifts.I bought him clothes
, PSP,movie tickets and some other stuff.My point is that it is rude to ASK me to pay the bill.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GUEST4320 View Post



Haven't you heard about "Go Dutch" before? You didn't pay all the bill but just a part of it.

He must know little about Chinese culture. You needn't feel angry. It is his culture.

By the way, my girlfriend is different. We have meals together many times. I am the one who pays the ...
Jul 30, 2011 21:22
#3  
  • NOBODY
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Talk to him about it...
Maybe for him its normal to go dutch, some (many) foreign girls feel bad when the boy pays everything...

Oh and to the stuff you bought. Did he say that he wants it? I know many chinese girls want to take care of their husband/boyfriends and buy him stuff when he actually doesnt want it (my wife does the same...) But i told her already that it is her choice to buy me the things, i didnt ask for it.
Then please answer me the question: Why did you buy him the stuff?
Because you love him or because you want that he buys you stuff too?

But please dont be just angry with him... really talk to him about it. (dont judge him, dont shout,... just talk and explain how it is in china. That he is here a guest and have to accept how things are done here, and chinese can be good host and accept things a foreigner think is normal you need to find the balance in your life)
Aug 16, 2011 03:13
#4  
  • KEVIN0518
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Nobody is right. Communication is the only way to solve your problem.
Aug 22, 2011 04:44
#5  
GUEST2354 It's funny. My wife and I went dutch when we had our first meal too. I insisted that I should pay the bill but she stopped me and suggested we pay the bill together. Later, I asked her why she wanted to go dutch after she became my girlfriend. She just said "It was the first time that we had had dinner together and I was not sure whether I would like to start a relationship with you. If we were not together, I would not feel that I owed you a meal in the future."

At that moment, I felt that I chose the right one. In most cases, the boys pay the bill while having dinner with ladies. And most ladies think that the boys should do that. But she didn't think like most girls.
Aug 22, 2011 04:46
#6  
GUEST2354 She is so different. Now we are together and she still doesn't ask me to pay all the meals. Sometimes I pay the bill and sometimes she does.
Aug 22, 2011 21:29
#7  
  • LINGYUXISU
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Quote:

Originally Posted by GUEST2354

She is so different. Now we are together and she still doesn't ask me to pay all the meals. Sometimes I pay the bill and sometimes she does.


Yeah, she is so different. So you keep your own income after getting married?

In China, most wives hold the purse strings and the husbands give almost all their income to the wives.
Last edited by LINGYUXISU: Aug 22, 2011 21:31
Aug 22, 2011 21:45
#8  
GUEST2354
Quote:

Originally Posted by LINGYUXISU



Yeah, she is so different. So you keep your own income after getting married?

In China, most wives hold the purse strings and the husbands give almost all their income to the wives.


I will give my salary to her and let her keep it if she asks. Once she suggested that we open an joint account and that we both deposit a certain percent of our salary regularly. The money will be our "family fund". And I am responsible for house rent, broadband fee, water and electricity charges etc. She is responsible for our meals. As you can see, we both do our contributions to our family.

What do you think of this idea?
Aug 22, 2011 22:23
#9  
GUEST21132 In China, most wives hold the purse strings and the husbands give almost all their income to the wives.

It's true because most wives believe that they can control their men if they hold the purse strings in their families. But few wives are good at financing. My mom once tried to manage money matters in our family but finally she gave this "burden" to my dad just 3 months later. Why? She once thought it was easy to manage the money but it wasn't.

I suggest wives who plan to hold the purse strings at home should learn some knowledge about financing and accounting to ensure that you be a good accountant and investor. Men who are married to accountants or finance advisors are really lucky because your wife can manage your money very well.

By the way, I think that SOME wives who prefer to control the purse strings must lack a feeling of security. They don’t believe their husband. They are afraid that their husband might have mistress behind them. So they ask their husband to hand in their bank cards. Some other wives might have strong possessive desire so that they control their family finance.

Of course, I do believe that some wives hold the purse strings for good intentions. Their men might throw his money about. In this case, she must stand out, get rid of his bad habit and plan for their future.
Aug 22, 2011 22:54
#10  
  • LINGYUXISU
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Quote:

Originally Posted by GUEST2354 View Post



I will give my salary to her and let her keep it if she asks. Once she suggested that we open an joint account and that we both deposit a certain percent of our salary regularly. The money will be our "family fund". And I am responsible for house rent, broadband fee, water and electricity charges etc. She is responsible for ou...


It sounds good. Many Chinese young couples do this too.
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