Talking Centipede.

Talking Centipede.
Nov 26, 2011 15:39
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: offline	The Talking Centipede A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time. This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about God?" .... YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS .... This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first f***** time! I'm putting my shoes on!"

Nov 26, 2011 15:39

BOBERT
Points:
Join Date: Jan 1, 2009
Status: offline

The Talking Centipede

A
single guy decided life would be more fun
if
he had a pet.

So he
went to the pet store
and
told the owner
that
he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After
some discussion,
he
finally bought a talking centipede,
(100-legged
bug),
which
came in a little white box
to
use for his house.

He
took the box back home,
found
a good spot for the box,
and
decided he would start off
by
taking his new pet
to
church with him.

So he
asked the centipede in the box,
"Would
you like to go
to
church with me today?
We
will have a good time."

But
there was no answer
from
his new pet.

This
bothered him a bit,
but
he waited a few minutes
and
then asked again,
"How about
going
to
church with me
and
receive blessings?"

But
again,
there
was no answer
from
his new friend and pet.
So
he waited
a
few minutes more,
thinking
about the situation.

The
guy decided
to
invite the centipede
one
last time.

This
time
he
put his face up against
the
centipede's house and shouted,
"Hey, in
there!
Would
you like to go
to
church with me
and
learn about God?"
....
YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ....

This
time,
a
little voice
came
out of the box,
"I
heard you the first f***** time!

I'm putting my shoes on!"

Nov 29, 2011 02:27	#1
RAINDROP Points: Join Date: Aug 24, 2009 Status: Offline	That's really annoying. A talking turtle or snail is much better. The turtle just has four legs and the snail doesn't.

Nov 29, 2011 20:46	#2
BBQQ Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by RAINDROP That's really annoying. A talking turtle or snail is much better. The turtle just has four legs and the snail doesn't. If he has a talking turtle or snail, he will be definitely late for the church. Why does he try to bring the centipede to the church?

Dec 1, 2011 08:40	#3
GUEST10172	Bobert, I don't think that the audience in this form is comfortable with western humor.

Dec 2, 2011 16:08	#4
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by GUEST10172 Bobert, I don't think that the audience in this form is comfortable with western humor. Point taken. Did you find it all all amusing?

Dec 2, 2011 19:19	#5
GUEST10172	Quote: Originally Posted by BOBERT Point taken. Did you find it all all amusing? Yes I have. Funny and clean.

Dec 2, 2011 22:39	#6
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by GUEST10172 Yes I have. Funny and clean. Then perhaps it's not my sense of humor that is lacking, but theirs.

Dec 3, 2011 07:20

GUEST10172

Quote:

Originally Posted by BOBERT

Then perhaps it's not my sense of humor that is lacking, but theirs.

It's not that they lack a sense of humor, it's just that they have a different kind of sense of humor than we do. My Chinese born wife jokes around with her Chinese friends all day long and enjoys my 'western' jokes as well (maybe it's the slow way I'm telling her my jokes that does it).

I find most of your jokes funny, particularly those that have to do with drinking...

Keep posting!

Dec 4, 2011 01:55	#8
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by GUEST10172 <br /> <br /> My Chinese born wife jokes around with her Chinese friends all day long and enjoys my 'western' jokes as well (maybe it's the slow way I'm telling her my jokes that does it). <br /> <br /> There was nothing sophisticated or even complicated about my "joke". So if as you say, Chinese people have a well developed sense of humor, then the problem must lie with the speed of my delivery. Apparently you speak very slowly indeed. Even slower than my writing.
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Last edited by BOBERT: Dec 4, 2011 02:00

Dec 4, 2011 21:48	#9
XIAOBAIHE Points: Join Date: Jun 9, 2009 Status: Offline	Why not take the whith box over to the church. It'll take too long before Centipede finishing putting on 100 shoes. Having a centipede put on shoes sounds like painting a snake with feet.

Dec 5, 2011 01:41	#10
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by XIAOBAIHE Why not take the whith box over to the church. It'll take too long before Centipede finishing putting on 100 shoes. Having a centipede put on shoes sounds like painting a snake with feet. I hope you take note of this remark GUEST10172. I think it debunks your theory.
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Last edited by BOBERT: Dec 5, 2011 01:42

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