Last chance.

Last chance.
Dec 14, 2011 19:04
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: offline	A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars to buy some dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked him. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time just trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless man, "I haven't played golf in 30 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."

Dec 14, 2011 19:04

BOBERT
Points:
Join Date: Jan 1, 2009
Status: offline

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars to buy some dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked him.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time just trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless man, "I haven't played golf in 30 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money.

Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."

Dec 14, 2011 21:48	#1
LONELYJOURNEY Points: Join Date: Oct 28, 2009 Status: Offline	Someone told me this joke before. 'The man' will be the next 'homeless man' if keeps drinking beer, fishing, golf and sex.

Dec 15, 2011 22:33	#2
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	LONELYJO: Errr.....no. The man is being forced by his wife to give up all his pleasures and he wants his wife to see what that would do to him.

Dec 16, 2011 22:09	#3
GUEST31188	I thought you said that your jokes are understood by all. Still a cute story.

Dec 17, 2011 01:49	#4
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Actually what I said was that my jokes were wasted here. I rest my case.

Dec 17, 2011 01:53

LONELYJOURNEY
Points:
Join Date: Oct 28, 2009
Status: Offline

Quote:

Originally Posted by BOBERT

LONELYJO: Errr.....no. The man is being forced by his wife to give up all his pleasures and he wants his wife to see what that would do to him.

I see, Bobert. He tried to prove that his wife did it wrongly to force him give up all his pleasures. But his wife actually did it good for him. If he are still obsessed in his pleasures, he will be as poor as that man.

Dec 17, 2011 01:55	#6
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	LONELYJO:.....Err..no. His wife is forcing him to give up all his pleasures. He wants to show his wife what he will look like if he obeys. He uses this mans decrepit looks as a parody of what his wife wants him to become.
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Last edited by BOBERT: Dec 17, 2011 01:57

Dec 18, 2011 02:22

CARLOS
Points:
Join Date: Sep 10, 2007
Status: Offline

Again a good one, Bob.

Wifes really do not understand what they do to their husbands when trying to change them.

Because I am a little lazy I would like to grow a beard so I would not have to shave every morning. My Lao Po do not agree.

Last summer we were visiting my daughter and she showed some photos they had changed into digital. In one photo there was I kissing with a quite nice looking girl. I asked my Lao Po if she noticed something in the photo. She said no.

I said in the photo I have no beard...

Carlos

Dec 20, 2011 00:18	#8
LONELYJOURNEY Points: Join Date: Oct 28, 2009 Status: Offline	Carlos, Some wives dream of changing their husbands but some don't. They just give you useful advice. Here, the rich man's wife wants him to get rid of some bad habits. Drinking and excessive sex are no good. I guess that the rich man must have sex with other women.

Dec 20, 2011 01:48	#9
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	A husband and wife are shopping at Wal-mart. He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks his wife "It's only $20.00 for 24 cans." he says. "You know we can't afford it" she says. A few minutes later, she picks up a $30.00 jar of face cream and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" the husband says. "It's my face cream and it makes me beautiful." she says. "So does the beer, and it only costs $20.00" he says. He never heard the shot or felt anything.
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Last edited by BOBERT: Dec 20, 2011 01:49

Dec 20, 2011 03:07	#10
CHERRY07 Points: Join Date: Mar 23, 2008 Status: Offline	Can beer make a man beautiful?

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