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“Boys to be raised austerely, and girls to be raised indulgently”. Do you agree?
Feb 3, 2012 02:41
  • SUNNYDREAM
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A Chinese saying on raising children has become very popular among the young Chinese parents who were born in 1980s, that is “穷养儿子富养女 (Boys to be raised austerely, and girls to be raised indulgently”.

Those who favor this saying claim that boys can become mature, successful and excellent after getting through hardships and difficulties. Raising boys austerely make them firmly believe that everything they have obtained or achieved has a price. Only have you been through hard work, you will have harvested the “fruits”.

Compared with boys, girls should be raised indulgently. The young parents believe that they should give the best to their girls including beautiful dresses, shoes, quality cosmetics and other things she desires of. On the other hand, the parents should do what they can to meet their girls’ requirements. Why? Giving the best to the girls when she is young makes sure that she won’t be seduced or depraved because of these things when she becomes an adult.

A Chinese father in Wuhan spent 30000 yuan (his yearly bonus) for his little girl during the Spring Festival. He bought beautiful dress, shoes and ipad 2 for her daughter and brought her to travel in Sanya during the Spring Festival. The total cost was almost 30000 yuan.

This guy did everything for his daughter. At home, he knelt down to speak to his daughter. Once upon a time, he went to buy eight kinds of Haagen-Dazs icecream for her little daughter. He indulged her daughter like a princess because he wanted her daughter feel superior and wouldn’t be seduced or cheated by men when she became an adult.

Will you do these crazy things to please your daughter? Personally, I would not spoil her in this way if I had a daughter.

Feb 3, 2012 03:26
#1  
GUEST2245245 I say "No". What if you have a boy and a girl? Treat the girl better than the boy? How will the boy think of you?

I just observe one rule "Never spoil my kids". The more you give to them, the more they ask from you.
Feb 8, 2012 02:33
#2  
  • CHERRY07
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To some extent, it is right. But what if you have a boy and a girl? Will you treat your girl better than your boy? I guess that your boy won't agree.
Feb 9, 2012 16:09
#3  
GUEST13063 I know a situation like this.

There is a Chinese girl who goes to college in the USA and has a very large amount of money for spending every month. She told me that her brother, who lives and works in China gets nothing from their father, because "that is the way our father wants to teach him about life", while "girls must be protected".

I don't know what the son is thinking about this unfair treatment. On the outside at least, he shows no animosity.
Feb 9, 2012 21:43
#4  
  • CHERRY07
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GUEST13063,

Does she ask how his brother thinks of their dad? I am happy that the boy hasn't done anything crazy like killing his dad.
Feb 9, 2012 21:45
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  • BBQQ
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GUEST13063,

The girl's father must be rich. You know why he treats her so well? She will marry someone someday. But her brother is different. He is the heir. That's why the father is so strict with him. He doesn't want a playboy to get his wealth.
Feb 10, 2012 07:19
#6  
GUEST13063
Quote:

Originally Posted by BBQQ

GUEST13063,

The girl's father must be rich. You know why he treats her so well? She will marry someone someday. But her brother is different. He is the heir. That's why the father is so strict with him. He doesn't want a playboy to get his wealth.



BBQQ,

You're right on, of course the father is rich, this girl costs him at least 50-60K a year (some 300,000 RMB).
And your theory about her brother - I'll buy that, you make a lot of sense.
Feb 10, 2012 07:24
#7  
GUEST13063
Quote:

Originally Posted by CHERRY07

GUEST13063,

Does she ask how his brother thinks of their dad? I am happy that the boy hasn't done anything crazy like killing his dad.


This young man is super composed, easy going and respectful (this was my initial impression). But what's hidden inside, his thoughts, feelings - hey, nobody knows.
Killing his dad? I hope not...dad is a super, generous, fun man.
Feb 10, 2012 21:13
#8  
  • BBQQ
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Quote:

Originally Posted by GUEST13063


BBQQ,

You're right on, of course the father is rich, this girl costs him at least 50-60K a year (some 300,000 RMB).
And your theory about her brother - I'll buy that, you make a lot of sense.


Thank you. Will you treat your kids like the girl's father? I am curious.
Feb 16, 2012 00:25
#9  
GUEST21142423 girls to be raised indulgently? Is it an excuse to spoil the girls? Teach your girl carefully and make her have correct concepts of values. I think she won't "get lost" when she grows up.
Feb 17, 2012 13:48
#10  
GUEST13063
Quote:

Originally Posted by BBQQ



Thank you. Will you treat your kids like the girl's father? I am curious.


I happened to have 2 sons, and I treat them equally without spoiling them. They know everything about money: hard to earn, easy to spend.
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