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Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family.
May 10, 2013 14:54
#11  
GUEST44186 I met my beautiful fiancee via a website and she came to see me in the USA on her own dime two weeks later. We spent 10 glorious days together and since then we speak twice a day via Skype and I've "met" her entire family. My picture is with hers on her WeChat and QQ sites, she talks openly about me and (not so openly) our relationship to her family and friends and it is a proper, grown-up relationship. I will go to her in three weeks time and spend another 10 days with her, getting to know her better and meeting the family etc. In the meantime I am taking Mandarin classes, learning some of the culture and etiquette, so I don't look too dumb and I'm being gently coached by my love. Messed up once when on Skype and we went around the entire family one by one saying hello (in Chinese, of course and using each person's proper title for her Mom (auntie, which I got permission for as it's informal) Dad (Mr Wang to keep it more formal) and elder brother (Gege) However, and you should take note here. When I came to the end of my conversation with my love, I said goodbye and put the phone down! BIG faux pas! You are supposed to go back around again and say goodbye to everyone individually again. So, lesson learned. If you are going to date a Chinese girl, you have to put the work in. And trust me, it is worth all the effort. Mine is probably the love of my life. That's not based on some pie in the sky rubbish, but from three months of careful talking twice a day, emails, getting to know each other, her seeing that I was taking this seriously by taking classes etc. There's no quick way around this. Do the work, reap the benefits.
May 18, 2013 03:49
#12  
GUEST20131 I do not think it is so terrible as he says. Chinese women have bones on their nose. they do everything and anything for their husband and kids. their home is their living. their family is their soul. what's wrong with that? Other women just leave their husband without even trying once to save the marriage. some women leave their children if it represent a life with a man who already had kids or does not want them...some women just leave everybody behind when she thinks she cannot take it anymore. Chinese women WILL DIE FIEST before giving up her own husband and kids and home. It is just that a chinese woman needs a real man who KNOWS why he is wearing pants and not a skirt.
May 26, 2013 02:58
#13  
GUESTJOHN Thats all sounds good but here is my story. I met a women on the net and had known her fo 18 mths and travelled to China three times. I eventually married her but i am going to end it before she migrates to my country. I had put some of her traits down to the culture at first but i realise that she is a extremely controlling, cunning, manipulating, angry, decietful and unloving woman. She thinks she is above everyone and even dispises the poor farmers of her own country saying they should have gone to university etc. She is 48 and i am 51. They are not worth the effort. I am so glad she will not be here with me as i value my sanity.
Jun 11, 2013 17:43
#14  
GUEST51182 I'm one of those old white guys who met and fell in love with a Chinese (mainland) woman while working in another country. She is still there fulfilling her Work Visa requirements and my company has me working in another part of the world. We both want to marry but what and how do we accomplish this? I want to bring her here to the US on a visitor visa and marry her here in the US, I don't want to wait for the Fiance visa. We can also marry in another country and then bring her in as a spouse. Just at a loss on which way to proceed. I dislike the fact that someone in government can decide what is in our best interest.
Jun 23, 2013 02:20
#15  
GUEST62873 I came to this site because i just had an argument with my Chinese fiancee. wow. So many truths, I'm laughing and crying and saying OMG!
I'm a 45y old Aussie man, I met a mainland woman, 39, when she was visiting HK where I live & work.
Her English is not great, 6 out of 10, but she goes to classes and I'm an ex English teacher, so we can communicate, thank you google translate.
After 4 montHs of seeing each other on weekends in china and the odd whole week she would visit me in HK, we decided to get married. Her cooking is awesome (im eating veges!), she is adorable, she owns 4 apartments (not after my money) and sings my name when she is doing things around the house.
She has asked me if her Dad can live with us in the future, I said ok. I've met him and he's good.
She wants to have 2 children and buy a house in Australia with me to live in the future. She will pay half. Although she does want to sign a pre-nup to protect her apartments if we divorce.
I get cold feet once a week, previous divorce does stuff with ones head.
She has some things that I thought were culturally different, it's not, she is a woman. She is worried I will leave her. She is worried I will not like her if she puts on some weight. She is worried about my health. When I asked if she is a racsist, she said of course, all Chinese people are, who do you dislike?
In all of the above posts, she is like some and not like others.
I suppose we are all individuals.
We have disagreements. I have just convinced her the cold shoulder doesn't work, we need to communicate, now she is, over a delicious bowl of noodles
Am I doing the wrong thing marrying her I ask myself? Are the cultural gaps too big to cross? Is she just after something?
People that really know me say they have not seen me this happy in 10 years.
This is a huge step. What's the worst that can happen?
Jun 25, 2013 07:10
#16  
GUESTNIK I am Australian married to Chinese. She and her family are the best gift i have ever received. Totally different.
Jul 20, 2013 23:30
#17  
GUEST20125 Our friend married a Chinese girl and he's been miserable ever since. Not saying they're one in the same, but there's something about an American guy who falls for an FOB (fresh off boat) gal that yells "I give up".

They clearly have a tough time with basic communication, understanding phrasing and sense of humor... it's funny as hell to watch, but has to be agonizing for him. She's a messy housekeeper and seemingly has little work ethic. Kind of surprising. Wonder how long this'll last.
Sep 3, 2013 05:03
#18  
GUEST88565 I,m an Aussie with a Chinese missus. They are several things mentioned here that rings true ,ie cultural gaps different senses of humour ,(the Chinese get a real kick out of visual humour ),value sets around money and decision making . Word of warning never get badly injured and lose your job ,you,ll be treated like you spat in their face ! Oh yeah if you think that the traditional Chinese woman might be a little submissive or even respectful of their husbands ,remember ," traditional Chinese women don,t leave China or marry foreigners ".On top of all that ,there are different personalities and hopefully you,ll find one suited to that of your own .It,s a lot of work ,for both ,and remember she,s leaving behind friends /family and her own culture and languages for that of another in which she will be ,"Tonque tied "and you,ll be the only one she can take that frustration out on ! You,ll soon understand the Chinese phrase ," Life is suffering " (trust me ! ).
Sep 15, 2013 22:14
#19  
GUEST65109 wait 10 years, or until you have kids, or until she wants money to her family. YOU'R screwed.
Oct 5, 2013 06:56
#20  
GUEST49272 budy, I had the same woman. It is called NPD , some personality disorder. Google it and you will see one thing: Be glad that you got out.
As to the Chinese women, First nice , but after marriage you will either loose your balls or finish the marriage. They are all the same over there. Blinded by cash and greed. I love you means I love your money. They are not interested in marriage, love etc. They are power hungry and need to shine in front of their peers and family. If you do not want to die early or get a stomach ulcer, I suggest you never touch a Chinese woman. There are other Asian countries where love counts more than money and fame.
Also, Chinese will never integrate into a western culture. They all are sleeper cells. If the homeland calls they will do what ever MAO wants. They are brainwashed from earliest childhood and you are never going to change that or make them suit your culture.
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