| Daddy's love for his daughter！ | |
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| Jul 19, 2013 13:37 | #11   |
 | Maybe we have different set if culture. My father-in-law was born in Malaysia but his father was from Hainan. A tall man with silver hair. During the proposal of marriage, my eldest brother did on my behalf. I got engaged with his daughter for seven months. I met him during the solemnisation of my marriage. He died four years later (after my marriage). After marrying his daughter, I used to help him with his small business in telecommunication where he got some contracts in planting undeground cables for certain companies as well as government. Wan |
| Jul 23, 2013 03:06 | #12 |
| Wan, The relationship between father-in-law and son-in-law is difficult to deal with. You and he can't be too close but too distant. It seems that you handled the relationship very well. As a Chinese saying goes, a son-in-law is half a son of his own. You marry his daughter so that you need to be filial to him and your mother-in-law. But you need to bear in your mind that you are not his own son. It means "Do not cross the line". By the way, your wife is the bridge between your father-in-law and you. She should play her role very well. As a result, the relationship between you two will be very well. |
| Jul 23, 2013 04:18 | #13 |
| So far I have no problem with my in-laws. After the demise of my father-in-law, we got on well with my mother-in-law and other in-laws. My wife comes from a big family with 12 siblings. During certain celebrations we would visit one another without fail, sometimes sharing feast. The one that resides in London, although I never stayed in her abode, but I'd pay her a visit whenever opportunity comes. I'd always remind my wife to call her mom at least once in two days/ Wan |
| Jul 24, 2013 03:31 | #14 |
| I'd always remind my wife to call her mom at least once in two days? Why don't make calls to your mother-in-law? Do you observe the rule "Don't cross the line"? Or do you just feel that you don't know what to say to her except greetings? |
| Jul 25, 2013 00:30 | #15 |
| Usually I visit her once in a fortnight. But as a daughter she should talk to her mom, asking about her well-being, everyday even for 5 minutes. It will show her appreciation and affection. Lately her health is not so good, and she's already 90 years old. It is indeed fortunate that she has many children, thus we take turns to be with her although we have work commitments. She still has 8 children living in Malaysia. I just wonder, with one child policy in China, with your mom staying in Xi'an and you work in Xianggang or Shenzhen, who will take care of her especially when she has long illness? Leave without pay? Wan |
| Jul 30, 2013 01:39 | #16 |
| Wan, It's the problem that all the "only children" face. Actually, those parents who have two daughters have the same problem. Their daughters marry someone when they grow up. I don't tell you that I have a brother. When I get married, my brother and his wife (when he gets married) will take care of my parents. Of course I will come back as frequently as I can. |
| Aug 10, 2013 20:50 | #17 |
| It is our culture that man should take care of his family and parents while a wife should be with her husband. For me I have 5 elder brothers and 4 sisters. My brothers took care of my mom until her demise. Wan |
| Aug 13, 2013 01:40 | #18 |
| Then I should consider marrying a guy from Malaysia. |
| Sep 3, 2013 03:17 | #19 |
| You're welcome. To me, it's not about race but individual's ability to care for others especially for the aged and destitute. Love the young and respect the elders. For a husband, it may sound weird but it is good to find someone that appreciates and respects you, who has the thought that taking you as a wife is part of the extension of care from your parents (that care for you since you were small). Wan |
| Sep 4, 2013 01:16 | #20 |
| Wan, There are Chinese men like Malaysian guys who take care of their families and wives very well. I believe that there are some bad Malaysian guys who fail to fulfill their responsibility as a husband. I will do my best to find a good man that deserves my love. |
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