Shocking! Paying 8.88 million yuan as bride price?

Shocking! Paying 8.88 million yuan as bride price?
Nov 14, 2013 01:31
LAUGH Points: Join Date: Sep 29, 2009 Status: offline	If you marry a Chinese girl, you’d better prepare for enough money as bride prices. If you marry a girl in Yiwu, I think you will definitely go broke. How much money is sent as bride price in Yiwu? As high as six figures or seven figures. On November 12, 2013, a boy took 8.88 million yuan together with jewels, Chinese white liquor and daily necessities to his girl’s home as bride price. How much does the money weigh? 102 kilograms. No wonder 18 strong men were picked up to shoulder the money. According to the local customs, the boy’s parents have to invite their closest relatives in person and then send the bride price together with them and the matchmaker on the Engagement Day. The bride price is put into boxes and burden with 18 shoulder poles. That’s why a large team is formed by the boy’s relatives. The team leader is the boy’s uncle (his mother’s brothers). Another large team formed by the girl’s relatives waits and picks up the boy and his relatives a few hundred meters away from the girl’s home. The team on the girl’s side must have as many members as the team on the boy’s side does. Besides, the member’s status must be compatible with those members of the boy’s team. For example, if the boy’s team has invited his uncles (his mother’s brothers), the girl’s team should also invite her uncles (her mother’s brothers). When the girl’s parents receive the bride price, they give their girl’s horoscope paper to the boy’s parents and then receive the boy’s horoscope paper. The horoscope paper has the girl or the boy’s birth time. After exchanging the horoscope paper, a grand feast is held to treat the relatives of the boy and the girl. After the feast, the girl’s parents must return some gifts to the boy. The gifts are put into the boy’s boxes and carried by the girl’s relatives for a few hundred meters. Then the boy’s relatives took the shoulder poles and went back home together with the boy and his parents. Why do the parents exchange the horoscope papers? According to the old betrothal customs, the boy’s parents usually ask a matchmaker to propose a marriage to the girl’s family. The matchmaker proposes a marriage to girl’s parents and passes the boy’s horoscope paper to them. If the girl’s parents agree, they give their daughter’s horoscope paper to the matchmaker and ask her to give it to the boy’s parents. Then the boy’s parents find a soothsayer to tell whether the boy and the girl are compatible according to their horoscopes. If yes, the boy’s parents will keep the girl’s horoscope paper and choose an auspicious day to make a formal marriage betrothal to the girl’s parents together with their son. If the boy and the girl are not compatible, the boy’s parents will ask the matchmaker to return the girl’s horoscope to the girl’s parents.

Nov 14, 2013 01:31

LAUGH
Points:
Join Date: Sep 29, 2009
Status: offline

If you marry a Chinese girl, you’d better prepare for enough money as bride prices. If you marry a girl in Yiwu, I think you will definitely go broke. How much money is sent as bride price in Yiwu? As high as six figures or seven figures. On November 12, 2013, a boy took 8.88 million yuan together with jewels, Chinese white liquor and daily necessities to his girl’s home as bride price. How much does the money weigh? 102 kilograms. No wonder 18 strong men were picked up to shoulder the money.

According to the local customs, the boy’s parents have to invite their closest relatives in person and then send the bride price together with them and the matchmaker on the Engagement Day. The bride price is put into boxes and burden with 18 shoulder poles. That’s why a large team is formed by the boy’s relatives. The team leader is the boy’s uncle (his mother’s brothers).

Another large team formed by the girl’s relatives waits and picks up the boy and his relatives a few hundred meters away from the girl’s home. The team on the girl’s side must have as many members as the team on the boy’s side does. Besides, the member’s status must be compatible with those members of the boy’s team. For example, if the boy’s team has invited his uncles (his mother’s brothers), the girl’s team should also invite her uncles (her mother’s brothers).

When the girl’s parents receive the bride price, they give their girl’s horoscope paper to the boy’s parents and then receive the boy’s horoscope paper. The horoscope paper has the girl or the boy’s birth time. After exchanging the horoscope paper, a grand feast is held to treat the relatives of the boy and the girl. After the feast, the girl’s parents must return some gifts to the boy. The gifts are put into the boy’s boxes and carried by the girl’s relatives for a few hundred meters. Then the boy’s relatives took the shoulder poles and went back home together with the boy and his parents.

Why do the parents exchange the horoscope papers? According to the old betrothal customs, the boy’s parents usually ask a matchmaker to propose a marriage to the girl’s family. The matchmaker proposes a marriage to girl’s parents and passes the boy’s horoscope paper to them. If the girl’s parents agree, they give their daughter’s horoscope paper to the matchmaker and ask her to give it to the boy’s parents. Then the boy’s parents find a soothsayer to tell whether the boy and the girl are compatible according to their horoscopes. If yes, the boy’s parents will keep the girl’s horoscope paper and choose an auspicious day to make a formal marriage betrothal to the girl’s parents together with their son. If the boy and the girl are not compatible, the boy’s parents will ask the matchmaker to return the girl’s horoscope to the girl’s parents.

Nov 14, 2013 01:32

LAUGH
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Join Date: Sep 29, 2009
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The betrothal in Yiwu is a bit different. The horoscope papers are exchanged on the Engagement Day. Once the horoscope papers are exchanged, the boy and the girl are formally engaged. I think that the parents of the boy and the girl must have checked the horoscopes before. The horoscope paper exchange is just a part of the rituals on the Engagement Day.

Back to the bride price topic, the girl’s parents won’t keep all the bride price for their own. They will prepare many dowries for their daughter and return some money to the boy’s parents.

Nov 24, 2013 02:54

WANHU
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Join Date: Feb 20, 2007
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Last month a young friend wants to marry a Chinese girl from mainland China. Her parents ask RMB100k as bride price because according to her mom that amount is small for a foreigner. Her mother thought foreigners are rich. He is a Malaysian Chinese and does not have that amount because to our standard is a lot of money. My friend has a car and a house to pay, and definitely will not be able to prepare that amount of money. Even the bank won't give that amount of money for a personal loan. Both parents died three years ago in a car accident. In the end her parents agree with 25000 Yuan of bride money and their marriage will be registered in Guangzhou, next month.

This cultural requirement makes a man thinks twice of marriage in China because many people won't be able able to fork out such a large sum of money, and like me, won't burden my parents with their money as they already have spent a lot to bring me up, provide me education, etc. No wonder I see many young men at 30 still single, and when I asked them, many if them cited lack of bride price or bride money and their monthly income not enough for proper life saving, especially for marriage.

With higher cost of living, it is worth to ponder about this cultural requirement because I understand that post marriage needs a lot of money than during marriage. If I were a mainland Chinese parent and have a daughter, I would really consider of not imposing a bride price. What is more important to me is, my daughter has a good husband who will be responsible for her life until eternity. How do I cope with talks by neighbours and community? Well when I have no food they wont provide, and they also do not pay my hospital bills.

Wan

Nov 24, 2013 09:22	#3
GUESTHUNTING...	Wan, chinese is always the first option in chinese marriage..foreighner dont take any advantage there...as for raising daughter,we teach them self strenthening, self esteem and independence, thats the base for their better life in the future...

Nov 24, 2013 20:39

LONELYJOURNEY
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Join Date: Oct 28, 2009
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The more bride price you give, the happier your parents-in-law are. If they are happy, they can easily agree to your marriage. There are many rich people in Yiwu. It's normal that the boy's side give millions of money as bride price.

Another truth: the poorer the parents are, the more money they ask as bride price. The money received from their son-in-law will be used to prepare for the bride price for their son.

Nov 24, 2013 21:08	#5
GUESTHUNTING...	<<Another truth: the poorer the parents are, the more money they ask as bride price. The money received from their son-in-law will be used to prepare for the bride price for their son.>> if the daughter is raised that way, it's like a tomb is being dug to bury her future... Certainly dragon matches dragon, mouse matches mouse...It's not realistic to make high quality suits out of table cloth...

Nov 27, 2013 04:28

WANHU
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Join Date: Feb 20, 2007
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Quote:

Originally Posted by GUESTHUNTINGWOODS

if the daughter is raised that way, it's like a tomb is being dug to bury her future...
Certainly dragon matches dragon, mouse matches mouse...It's not realistic to make high quality suits out of table cloth...

Everything is based on money, the more you have money the happier the marriage is. Money means future security. Now marriage seems like for the rich, and the poor will remain bachelor for life.
Wan

Nov 27, 2013 21:35	#7
LONELYJOURNEY Points: Join Date: Oct 28, 2009 Status: Offline	GUESTHUNTINGWOODS, That's why some people say "Some people don't marry their daughter to their future sons-in-law. They just sell their daughters." Finance is the basement for a stable marriage. She marries you but you can't provide her a shelter, food and clothes. Such a marriage is a disaster to her, a marriage without future.

Nov 27, 2013 22:01

GUESTBUDDHA

LONELYJ,

can u tell what will happen to u, Certainty or Uncertainty since u mention financial position...

be your own master if u have the basic concept of life--uncertainty, versatility---another word --keep u dynamic and ready always no matter how old u are and no matter ur gender is...agree? the attitudes are living a horse or dragon life instead of a pig life...that applies to boys and girls as well.

where are u from lonelyJ, a small town or countryside of china from last century?... haha..

Cheers

Nov 30, 2013 18:30

WANHU
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Join Date: Feb 20, 2007
Status: Offline

Quote:

Originally Posted by LONELYJOURNEY

GUESTHUNTINGWOODS,

That's why some people say "Some people don't marry their daughter to their future sons-in-law. They just sell their daughters."

Finance is the basement for a stable marriage. She marries you but you can't provide her a shelter, food and clothes. Such a marriage is a disaster to her, a...

Sound financial support doesn't promise a stable marriage, it may be one of the elements. I have read many cases in the journal, as well as encountered a few along the way during my journey in China of instances where they have grand marriage receptions at 5-star hotels. In one particular case, the husband provides the wife a luxury apartment. Besides her salary of RMB5000, the husband gives her RMB3000 per month. After having a son three years ago, the husband starts to neglect her and finds him a new girlfriend, and she becomes a trophy wife. Yes she has good shelter, fine clothes and fine dining, but sleep in separate bedrooms. I am sure this is not an isolated case.

Can I litigate with legal proceedings? I don't know the Family Law in China. Divorce? Never the correct answer but it may be the final nail to the coffin of their marriage.

Wan

Nov 30, 2013 21:14	#10
GUESTHUNTING...	Wan, cutting back the financial supports, then help the trophy get back on his/her feet. this is what we tell the boy/girl: we prepare for and guide u in every aspects until year 3 in uni, after that u have the ability to support your self financially...if he/she can, she/he is 龙种a dragon, if not, she/he is 鼠背a mouse...mice matches mice that is slipped into a downward spiral...haha..

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