<A>Hard Seats – More Than Just a Pain in the Ass

Beijing – Qingdao
Mode of transport: Train (hard seat)
Cost: 120 RMB
Duration: approx 8 hours

If you have never endured a night on one of the spanking new trains in China, you will never understand what all this fuss is about. After all, the train is air-conditioned and the seats are cushioned. There is a toilet, wash basins and hot water facilities in every carriage.

Eight hours on these so-called ‘hard seats’ did not seem like such a big deal. That was, until the horror began to unfold as we journeyed deeper into the night.

Midnight:
Armed with a tiny blanket a dirty old jacket, Mr. X got himself a first class sleeper on the floor space just by the wash basins outside the common toilet. With a tiny bit of creativity and a great deal of desperation, the floor is always an available option. My friend, Mimi, was already on standby just in case Mr. X leaves that spot. Get in line, people.

0200 hrs:
Lady Y made a beeline for the toilet with baby in arms. Toilet was locked. Lady panicked. She looked around. Basins. Sleeping man on the floor. Emergency exit.

Ding! A decision was made. Emergency exit it is. She lowered the baby to the ground and proceeded to answer nature’s call with a soothing “shh…shh…” sound. And right there, just inches from away from the snoozing Mr. X, baby Z let out a golden stream of infant pee by the emergency sliding door.

0610 hrs:
Good morning, China!

A time when all healthy Chinese citizens emerge for a good washing up at the common wash basins. Mr. X gets the privilege of being the first to start this routine. “Khaaaaak…ptui!” And the music begins…