| Why Have Children ?? | |
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| Mar 13, 2006 05:31 | #11   |
 | Indeed, love & marraige are 2 different matter. When in love, there is no need for marriage - just keep loving each other. Hahaha !! Find that Chinese gals are still very traditional - like that, tho ! Back to having kids - the reasons for having kids so far as brought by the gals here & from what I commonly hear are :- - companionship - as backup during old age or when sick/weak - carrying on the family name - to procreate & ensure mankind survives - "it is the way life is about" In a large country like China and as well as agricultural countries, people is manpower. Thus to have more kids means more helping hands. Also, less mentally-equipped children can still survive as long as they are physically OK. In small countries & urban societies, the picture is quite different. Children have to be both phsyically healthy & mentally excellent. For those who can cope with competition, expectation & pressure of the society, there is no problem. For those who cannot, it is almost a disaster. There is no guarantee that the kids will be borne healthy. What if they are borne handicapped ? Neither can anyone guarantee that children will be borne reasonably intelligent. Under such risks, why do we wanna bring children into this world to possibly suffer ? When one examines all the above common reasons for having children, they are all "selfish" ones. So having children is a selfish act on part of the parents !! |
| Mar 13, 2006 18:46 | #12 |
| Well, to have children with the one you love seems not so selfish as those most Chinese have been doing for thousands of years "养儿防老"-raising sons to support one in one’s old age OR 我养你小，你养我老(Children end up parenting their parents), that is selfish people should feel ashamed of. |
| Mar 13, 2006 18:57 | #13 |
| Sounds like the meaning of "selfish" should be redefined:-) |
| Mar 13, 2006 20:27 | #14 |
| I suppose in olden China, there was no social/ economic security system. As such raising sons to look after the parents was 1 of the social/economic security when they became old/weak. Nothing wrong, I think. Having children with loved ones - why not so "selfish" ? Isn't it still for the purpose of cementing the couple's relationship or to arouse some interest in their relationship beside just facing each other for the years ahead ? Surely, having children is not for the children's sake ! Having children is in a way like raising a pet - except that when u are tired of the pet, u can give it away or something like that. One cannot do that with a child. |
| Mar 13, 2006 20:44 | #15 |
| Another great topic !! All of you have added so much to this thread with your thoughts and ideas !! It is so interesting for me, as a western man, to read the thoughts and dreams of the woman and men of the eastern culture. In that regard, I feel that we are all so very close in what we want, need, and dream of. I believe that for the most part, people are people, the world over. Having said that, I think we are all individuals and even as a man or a woman, we each have a different outlook and level or intensity of romance and the feelings of romanticism. A man and a woman, in life together, and the children they bring forth, is about a relationship. It is about sharing. It is about shared experiences. It is about trust and loyalty and fidelity and building a life together. Life alone, is just that……life alone, it is lonely !! It is so one dimensional and so unfulfilling. I am biased, because I am a romantic. But notwithstanding, I do think, a good and loving and reciprocal long-term relationship is better for most, than living alone or in a series of short to mid-term relationships. Moreover, it is natural to want to enhance that feeling of sharing to include the creation of children. One should not endeavor to have children to make the relationship ‘better’, but to enhance a relationship which is already very good and which has a solid foundation. But one must understand, a relationship that is lasting, is a full time job. One must work at it daily. If neglected by either person, it will surly wilt and fail. Both individuals must be mature enough and tenacious enough to understand the dynamic and be willing to work at the relationship and tend to it continuously. Sometimes, the grass in not really greener over the next hill. Sometimes, what one already has is what is best and what is worth working for and fighting for. Why can’t the feelings of love of today, burn just as warm tomorrow and ten or twenty years from now !!?? Sometimes, when one becomes more mature and experienced in life, one learns these lessons. This is one broad subject: relationships, love, family, children, romance, etc, that I could talk about page after page, and surly bore all of you to death !!! :) :) |
| Mar 13, 2006 20:52 | #16 |
| It's not boring to read your comments, Roger. Good and balanced views and give us a better insight into this topic. Thank you. |
| Mar 13, 2006 21:23 | #17 |
| Excellent ,Roger ,you always make me thinking more after reading your post . |
| Mar 13, 2006 22:45 | #18 |
| Humans have evolved. Procreations is no longer a priority. In today's dog-eat-dog world, everybody is trying to push forward. Children becomes a hindrance on the way to the top. Couples who are career-minded, will not be able to handle the stress of working and bringing up children at the same time. When they cannot offer the best situation to their children, couples opt to go childless. This is Hobson's choice or "No Choice" |
| Oct 29, 2007 23:57 | #19 |
| One day when you become a old lady or gentleman, you will be in miserable status if without Children. No one care you. It is Terrible. Should be! This is why people need Children. Yours sincerely, Susan Zheng(China Tour Guide) MSN: hotmail.com|Susan205060 |
| Oct 30, 2007 01:50 | #20 |
| The basic drive to have children is because of an inbuilt desire to pass on our genes. Obviously, there would be no human race without this. Then we have the desire in poor countries to have childrent to look after us in old age. In the modern overcrowded world it should be very socially acceptable to have no children but we still have misguided politicians and religious leaders who want bigger populations...grrr! I had children because my (now ex) wife wanted them! As it's normal and we hadn't actually discussed the issue, it was appropriate for me to give in |
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