| Be A Man | |
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| Apr 11, 2006 16:46 |   |
 | Many a time we hear people saying "Be a man, don't be a cissy .....". How should a man behave ? Why not "Be a woman.... ? How has this perception of manliness evolved ? Are there any differences between Chinese manliness & that of other countries ? |
| Apr 11, 2006 18:17 | #1 |
| The pastor of the church my family attends here in the good old US of A is not a \"sissy\" man and neither are the men who attend with us on Sunday morning. If you act like a girl then folks will call you a sissy and talk about you behind your back. A real man does not need to be joining with others to defeat his foes. He should be able to stand up for himself.When he does wrong he should take it like a man and accept responsibility quietly not give some smart sarcastic comeback pretending to be just joking. If you keep getting told \"Be a man, don\'t be a cissy .....\" all the time folks will think you live on Brokeback Mountain. |
| Apr 11, 2006 20:27 | #2 |
| Hi guys, I quess it all started back in the caveman days. A man was suppose to hunt for the food no matter what the odds were and not be afraid when he has to go against a big TRex or something. In war they tell you to suck it up and take the pain. If anyone has been shot injured it hurts. Maybe this will help a little. |
| Apr 11, 2006 20:36 | #3 |
| Yes, Terry, your words are reasonable. Men are supposed to be men and women are supposed to be women. Think about the past days in China, women had to obey their father, husband and son. |
| Apr 16, 2006 21:39 | #4 |
| I supposed men being physically stronger, started off protecting the weaker sex. But physical attributes may not be the only reason for a man to be a Man. As MAN move up the civilisation ladder, they gradually shift towards more astute values. A man became more of a man not just via his physical strength but his attitude, behaviour, mental prowess, etc. These seem to be reserved more for the man than for the women who has always been playing more of a shadow role in society. The decision maker tends to be the man. For China who always prize education, the men were the ones who received education in preference to the women. Generally there were 2 types of men - the strong ones ( with physical attributes - eg workers, military men, etc ) & the scholars. The scholars were deemed to be the preferred men for most upper class women to seek after - they represent the mental prowess of a person. These scholastic men in those days were actually physical weaklings who couldn't do anything other than recite poems, write & reason. Probably they were the more romantic ones, too. Their most important attributes were the power of knowledge and reasoning. These were the heroes of the day & gals would swoon over them. I think the western world never encountered such a state - physical power seems to be the order of the days past and present. What do u think ?? |
| Apr 17, 2006 02:43 | #5 |
| Pinetree, I don't agree that sentence at all: "These were the heroes of the day & gals would swoon over them. I think the western world never encountered such a state - physical power seems to be the order of the days past and present". In my opinion, even the smallest and skiniest person could nock down the strongest man in the world, with just the right words! And while phisical pains disappear in just one or two days, hurted feelings by someone's words can stay forever....that's why we "rational" people should control our words when talking and use them according to the situation. And refering to what HONOR said: "If you act like a girl then folks will call you a sissy and talk about you behind your back. A real man does not need to be joining with others to defeat his foes. He should be able to stand up for himself.When he does wrong he should take it like a man and accept responsibility quietly not give some smart sarcastic comeback pretending to be just joking." Are you implying that we GIRLS need to join others to defeat our foes? That we GIRLS aren't able to stand up for ourselfs? That we GIRLS when do something wrong don't accept our own responsability?....mmmmm.... I really think that "Be a man, don't be a cissy" is a too old fashioned sentence, that's still used by old fashioned people...sorry |
| Apr 17, 2006 03:50 | #6 |
| Hahaha, Chiinita ! I think u misunderstand what I was trying to say - maybe my poor communication skill or the lack of knowledge on Chinese social history ? The locals will understand. To digress, of cos, the West started Women's Lib - we know that !! But In most Asian societies, somehow the men still bear the blunt of the duties - rightly or wrongly. |
| Apr 17, 2006 08:12 | #7 |
| Don't worry about your communication skills....they defenitely much better than mines! :) I understood you, but I was just disagreeing with your last sentence about the western world " think the western world never encountered such a state - physical power seems to be the order of the days past and present"...I really think in Spain, we all preffer people able to mantain an interesting conversation and being able to lose a problem in a rational way, than those showing their muscles all around. I am not a feminist...but if you think about everything together, who was stronger? The man giving orders to his wife, or the wife having to do everything and accepting this as a normal fact? Who is actually mentally stronger? A person making a decision or the person that has to obey that order weather she likes it or not? The man going to a war without any knolegde about it and what he was doing there and dying in 5 minutes? Or the women carrying with three kids, waiting for a man that maybe would never come back and working hard to mantain that family? By the way...I was really impressed by what MAY001 said, about women in the past having to obey even their sons! Do you think that nowadays that's the same with kids? I've seen so many chinese kids hitting their mothers in the street, and for me that's amazing... |
| Apr 17, 2006 08:28 | #8 |
| Hahaha ! Don't think u realise that in olden China the scholars were really cissy in the literal sense. They were weak physically & couldn't do anything else other than things to do with books. They were professionals spending almost all their time studying to try to attain some recognition by the govt & attain offices in it. Quite often their families & even wives had to support them so that they could carry on with their studies. And they were highly respected. Gals hoped to be married to such men. The west got this ? Yet these were the people who will decide and lead - to me nothing wrong except that the society had reached a stage whereby physical strength would even be despised on. About mothers obeying sons - there is a history to it. Again not necessarily wrong - it was the order & relevance of the day. For that, we need to go into the background and history of society then. Kids beating up parents - yeah, definitely not condoned anywhere in the world and anytime of the day. |
| Apr 17, 2006 10:13 | #9 |
| Dear 'member: It is OK to disagree; but it is not OK to personally attack another member !! When you do this it detracts from your ‘message’ !!! Moreover, you then lose any credibility !! |
| Apr 17, 2006 10:33 | #10 |
| Chiiiinita, You have a very good mind !! I agree with all of your points, about who is ‘really’ the “stronger” individual !! Very thoughtful !!! And I also agree, about what you say with respect to anachronistic thought !!! Enjoy China !!! (and its cuisine) LOL :) :) |
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