| a chinese girlfriend or wife?? | |
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| May 20, 2008 09:28 | #21   |
| GUEST89641 | "If you look around the personals websites, you will find millions of ads from Chinese women." Guess I know where you found your fiance. All these poor White men who feel they are entitled to speak for Chinese women. A news flash for you, genius China's population is more than 1.2 billion. Everything we have and do is greater than yours....except for divorce and wife beatings. |
| May 22, 2008 01:10 | #22 |
| GUESTYWL | I'm a Chinese woman returned from overseas for more than 3 years now.. I haven't found a boyfriend yet, but now I'm sure I want a foreigner more than a Chinese. Nowadays, most young Chinese men are not mature enough, and they are very selfish and illiberal. Moreover, I would like to marry a Christian man with overseas experience, there aren't many of them in China. |
| May 22, 2008 06:52 | #23 |
 | Guest89641, Thanks for you input. So I take that you do not agree with cross cultural relationships? Dodger. |
| May 22, 2008 13:14 | #24 |
| GUEST89641 | Really??? You couldn't find a Foreign man matching your level of maturity overseas? Why even go back to China, if you like Western men and Western culture so much. Cause, sister, you are in the wrong place since China is full of hmm...hmmm...these immature Chinese men, if you are even Chinese. I don't usually post to blogs, but I just wanted to restore some balance to this discussion, since your blogs, like American news media, is usually very biased. In any case, if you are Chinese, I think you are just bitter because good Chinese men don't like you. |
| May 22, 2008 13:33 | #25 |
| GUEST89641 | Not always. For instance, you two look like a very nice, down-to-earth, couple. I don't oppose cross-cultural relationships in your case. But my personal feeling is that most westerners are looking for control, not love. Especially now, when they are losing control of the world to China. As long as there are those people and their surrogates, like "GUESTYWL" around, China will never open up, and they shouldn't. Put all accusations of racism aside, lets look at the societal track record for some of the more notoriously mixed races in this world. Filipinos and Mexicans. What have cross-cultural relationships done for them? |
| May 22, 2008 21:57 | #26 |
| I personally believe that everyone, no matter what nationality, has a right to marry whoever they want and not be castigated for it. Everyone should be free to choose. Otherwise, it is a control issue. More and more Westerners are marrying Chinese women and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Cross cultural marriages will not be the end of the world. The sky is not falling. |
| May 23, 2008 10:07 | #27 |
| Guest89641, I appreciate your very strong stand point and understand to a certain degree what may have caused it from an historical factor. Your point on restoring some balance to this post is noted. On your reference to Mexico and the Filipinos; I think that the blame lies ( in this case)in the political structure that they inherited from a Spanish political/ justice system. South America is a good example. Not as you infer by the mixing of races. You do seem to be alluding to some sort of cultural invasion of China? If that is the case then look at the numbers. There are many more Chinese in the “West” than there are westerners in China.. Their input into their host nations has not been a small one. The time of world domination by anyone group is long past. It really is a small world now. Join us full time. There are some really nice people here and you would be able to add to all of our knowledge. Cheers, Dodger. |
| Jul 19, 2008 08:30 | #28 |
| GUEST22124 | Humans certainly are interesting creatures... after all the guy at the beginning of the forum asked "Would you be willing to marry a Chinese boy or girl? (assuming you were not Chinese)?" It's gotten sidetracked, but the posts are a good read when you're bored. To answer that question, yes I would be willing to marry a Chinese person... assuming I wasn't Chinese. If I was Chinese I would not be willing to marry a Chinese person. Sound like a modern Chinese proverb... but anyway. So back to the sidetrack... first, choice is key. Mao Zedong always complained about imperialism, in the vein of guest89641. He had a strong point, except the communists are simply a new elite, albeit at least they care about the people of China much more than the previous governments, See, elites in this world want control, and they have poisoned us with their method of thought. Control is needed, don't get me wrong, when a man and woman love each other they need to control they're impulses to each other, control is needed so we don't slip into anarchy, etc... But some people crave power so they can impose their will and get more powerful. They will never be happy, they will crave more, and they will ruin the world. Libertarianism, on the other hand, recognizes that providing a framework for choices, and letting people make the most choices, while checking power grabs, really makes a nation or society advance. Look at America prior to the middle of the twentieth century, it was a highly dynamic, booming society. For that matter, look at China today, capitalism, a "choice" economic system has made it into the world's largest economy. So back to men and women. I think that people are attracted to what they are attracted. Some people like oranges more than apples, and some like pears. They might be able to tell you what they like about oranges, or what they don't like about apples, and maybe they can do one or neither. Same goes for people and who they like. Except that people aren't as easy to divide into groups as apples or oranges, every person is an apple or orange. The difference is that today's world is becoming smaller and our choices are greater and easier to make. No longer do you have to marry some guy from your village, you might be able to venture further. And with the advent of the internet, choices become easier to make because you can meet people online before you decide to spend time with them. So I can talk about why I like oranges, or pears or apples. But I will end by saying that choice is good, because it leads to more happiness when you have what you want. Unless of course, what you want is absolute control, or you are the kind of person that is never satisfied... but that's another topic. As long as we treat each other with dignity, and respect, and men and women that love each other do so as well, we will live in a better world. |
| Jul 19, 2008 22:46 | #29 |
| well i am going on a vacation to China in october. i have been corresponding with many girls for about 2 years now, maybe about 20-30, i didn't count. 2 of them really stood out and we took it up to vid chat a while ago. 1 of those is very ambitious she has her own business which is fairly large and does not want to devote herself to a relationship at this point of her life, i got very attracted to her mind, her intellect and understanding is amazing to me. the other one however, has volunteered to be my companion for the vacation. all i can say is that if things work out between us, and i hope they do, i will gladly invite her to come to US. she, as a woman, is offering much more then i have ever even dreamed of getting from american or latina women by which i am surrounded. their lack of values, inability to commit to a lifelong partnership and disrespect for marriage is indeed right down depressing on a massive scale. i even had dates with women i met at my job only to find out afterwards thet they are married !!! and no one told me, all their friends knew of course and said nothing. language wise, she already knows a bit of english and is taking classes and learnign more, and i am actually studying some mandarin which of course i will never master. even if i get the vocabulary down and finally get the hang of phrase and sentence structure, the tones are just killing me. i would like to add, that many of these girls have stated a surprising thing to me, that is, according to them : Western women and Chinese men deserve each other, while western men should all end up with Chinese girls. hehe |
| Jul 19, 2008 23:40 | #30 |
| I've posted alot about this topic elsewhere. Cross cultural marriage works well for me and my family. I'm as blond and American as they come and I'm happily married to a fantastic Chinese guy originally from Hong Kong. He's an international person with the best of the East and the West. I meet him half way by respecting and practicing Chinese culture and traditions (OK he won't eat Blue cheese and I won't eat the 1000 year old eggs raw -though I like it in congee). Alot of my friends her are married to foreign spouses and they are very happy too. The world is a better place when this happens. To the racist person's comment on Mexicans and Fillipinos, that's a nasty thing to say. These groups of people are one of the nicest peoples I have ever met hardworking and a whole lot less up-tight about the world compared to Asians and Westerners. Their countries may not be economic powerhouses but they are happy and know how to see the world in a positive light. |
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