| What do you think of Chinese "Mistress Phenomenon"? | |
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| Aug 27, 2007 04:53 | #21   |
 | It might not be their intention to have extramarital affair. Anyway, it does happen, either accidentally (after drinking too much alcohol) or intentionally. What will you do? Divorce him/her? Or give him/her a chance. No one is infallible. |
| Aug 27, 2007 22:43 | #22 |
| Better give no chance to the culprit. Having Extramarital affair is like taking drug. It is easy to be addictive. If there is "once", there will be "twice", 'the 3rd time"....."Do the third partners feel humiliated for themselves?" Hard to say, as a saying goes, love can confuse the lovers. Or, the lovers will have a very low IQ when they are in love. Are there any scientific evidences? I am not sure. |
| Sep 11, 2007 22:37 | #23 |
| Who should be blamed for the 'Mistress Phenomenon"? The mistress or the so-called rich who keeps them. Is this phenomenon challenging China's Monogamy system? |
| Sep 12, 2007 06:27 | #24 |
| There do have to be Woman who are happy to become a Man's Mistress for this to happern. Perhaps they think that they will become #1? Dodger. |
| Sep 13, 2007 00:41 | #25 |
| "Men have womens. Why you treating it as cheating? Necessity has no laws. Here woman helping hand of man. So womens can't escape from the blame. " Lionpower, I don't understand what you're talking about. Cheating is when you commit to one person (ie make your marriage vows to them) and then you have a mistress on the side, while hiding them from your spouse. I am not saying that every man does this... A lot of guys find it repulsive actually, such as some of the guys who commented above. If the woman wants to be a mistress that's her business. Maybe she needs the money. Maybe she has bad taste. But it doesn't make it right for the guy to be lying to his wife... |
| Sep 19, 2007 01:50 | #26 |
| Yes, you are right. Some women blaming only men for this problem. I like to legalize the other mistress. |
| Sep 20, 2007 15:58 | #27 |
| I'd like someone to explain to me why is it so bad for the rich guys to have a mistress while it is only viewed as "a shortcut to make a good living" for the women??? Why is it a bad thing for men and a good thing for women??? Isn't morally reprehensible equally for both? Ok I realilze that the man is married and he is the one risking his familly, while for the woman, it is more a matter of being a job (is this prostitution??), and not a relation, but still...!!! Another case where anything goes as long as there is money involved....sad to see. ;-( |
| Sep 20, 2007 16:07 | #28 |
| I guess that to answer Chynagyrl, yes it is the woman's business to decide to do it or not. But what I wonder is that apparently wedding is SO important to Chinese women, like the 'ultimate' dream for their life and security; so why would a woman choose to intentionality break the life of the wife? I understand that she doesn't know her, but in her mind somewhere..she no guilt at all? It's just that you make it sound like it is perfectly normal and acceptable; to me, it is not. But I'm not here to argue anyone's own moral values ;-) |
| Sep 20, 2007 20:27 | #29 |
| how can i explain it... usually the person who has more money and options is in control. ie the guy is older, has money AND two women (maybe a loving wife taking care of his children at home)... while the mistress is likely poorer, maybe uneducated, and not married. It is wrong for the woman too, (which is why I said that she has bad taste)... but I find that poverty forces people to do things in order to survive. I wish that those women would be stronger and succeed in a better way, rather than by becoming a kind of prostitute... :-( They might want an easy life (ie lying on their back) but it's not something that's good for anyone's self esteem... I think sometimes young women are flattered by the attention and take some time to realize they can find a better guy. |
| Sep 21, 2007 21:47 | #30 |
| CHYNAGYRL , " I find that poverty forces people to do things in order to survive." For this point, I can fully understand what you mean.Yes, you are right. Poverty is an economic state, which is usually defined as "Material Scarcity". Being poor is not a humiliating thing, but poverty is really hard to bear. In particular, for a budding girl who values beautiful appearance and has the desire to dress elegantly and to be adored, poverty deprived her of the possibility to realize her 'Fairytale Dream'. On the hand, poverty is also a reflection of psychological state. Poverty is relative rather than absolute.( Few extreme cases are exceptions). Compared with others, most people would feel that they are poorer than others. Did most of the gilrs have stuck in a state that without being kept as a mistress or engaging prostitution they would have starved to death. Probably, quite a few of them are not in such a state of poverty. Well, as to the word " survive", I wonder how you interprete this word? My understanding is that "Survive" is quite different from "Living". To survive probably means to maitain the physical needs and prolong your longevity; wheras living probably refers to living a life with dignity. Without dignity, that is called "survive". Actually, many women who engaged in 'Skin Business" or were willing to be kept as "mistresses" did have the power to live a life through their hard work. Do I make myself understood? |
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