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Chinese girls are the most open minded and boldest in the world?
Nov 27, 2007 21:02
#31  
  • JIMMYB
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Quote: Your post reminded me of the situation one of my Chinese friends is currently in. He has a girlfriend but the parents of the girl doesn't like him at all. The father even threatened to commit suicide if they marry. The father said the only way he would give his permission is if the boyfriend can buy a house in Beijing.

I could understand why her parents treat this guy in this way. What they have done is for their daughter. However, buying an appartment in China is not an easy thing, especially in those big cities. The house prices are really too high. But I wonder how your Chinese friend and his GF think about. Stick to get married or break up?
Nov 28, 2007 07:35
#32  
  • SHESGOTTOBE
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Ni hao! JimmyB!

I can understand that parents want the best for their child. I understand that they want her to have a good life. But what if the girl really loves her boyfriend? Wouldn’t the girl be miserable if she can’t be with the one she loves? Her parents do not know that they are still seeing each other because the father had already forbidden her from seeing him.

Last time I talked to my friend, he said that his girlfriend is meeting a guy her parents are trying to match up with her. Of course, he is very depressed. I said she could refuse to meet him, he said she is meeting him. I asked if she is going to marry the other guy if her parents want her to, he said he didn’t know. I don’t really know the girl that well but I feel sorry for my friend. The girl asked him to look for a better job. He said he wanted to find another job that would give him a better pay. He thinks that would change the father’s mind. I don’t know. It seems like the father has set an impossible condition. How can an ordinary employee buy a house in Beijing these days, even if he gets twice his current pay?

I know this is already way out of topic but is this really common in China? Would a Chinese girl have the guts to disobey her parents and follow her heart? What are the consequences? Do parents really commit suicide if their children disobey them?
Nov 28, 2007 21:25
#33  
  • JIMMYB
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After reading your post, I sense that the girl was unwilling to do so. However, she could not disobey her parents' will because she is a filial girl and she does not want to see her father suicide. The filial principle has dominated Chinese people for a very long period and it still influences Chinese people today though they have changed a lot. I have heard that many young people break up with their lover just because their parents do not like their partner.

Yes, there are some brave girls or boys who disobey their parents' will and stick to their own choice. Some of them have a happy marriage and some not. Why? they might have chosen a wrong partner. For their parents, they finally forgive them and accept their marriage. No matter what their child have done, they are still their child. That can't be changed. I think that the girl's father won't suicide actually. He just wants to scare his daughter and ask her to end the relationship with that boy. Whatever the parents do, they just want their child have a happy marriage and life.

BTW, I do not know how much the boy can earn per month. But the house price is really high in Beijing. You must have heard of 'house slaves'---those who have sacrificed a lot just to buy a house and they will use their whole life to pay back their bank loans. Really sad!

If the boy really loves the girl, he shouldn't give up. What he could do is to use his sincerity to move the girl's parents and let them know that he will spare no efforts to make the girl live happily though he is poor now. Just my opinion.

Well, SHESGOTTOBE. If you were the girl, what will you do, to break up with the boy or disobey your parents' will?
Nov 28, 2007 22:51
#34  
  • SHESGOTTOBE
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Hmm... It is very hard for me to imagine being the girl in this situation since she and I are very different. First of all, my father is too proud a person to say he will commit suicide if I marry a guy he doesn't like. He would tell me that I am already a grown up and I already know what I'm doing.

If I am the girl, I would have a heart to heart talk with my boyfriend. If my boyfriend really loves me, I would be willing to fight for him. I would ask what his plan would be and I will be willing to wait for him no matter how long it takes.
Nov 29, 2007 20:24
#35  
  • JIMMYB
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If I was the girl, I would do the same thing as you do, SHESGOTTOBE. But I am not a girl.

If I was the boy, I would be very thankful if she could do as you do. If I was the boy, I would use my actions to tell her parents---I love her and I promise I will give her a happy marriage and life. If I was the boy, I would work harder and harder to keep my promise. Well, if she finds another man who is better than me and wants to be with him, I will quit and wish her good luck.
Dec 1, 2007 10:13
#36  
  • LIONPOWER
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Poem and practical not equal.
Dec 4, 2007 21:03
#37  
  • JIMMYB
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Quote: if she finds another man who is better than me and wants to be with him, I will quit and wish her good luck.

Lion, does this sentence make you think that it is 'not equal'? Well, I believe that you should let her go if you could not make her happy. If you love a girl, you should be sure that you can bring her happiness.
Dec 19, 2007 21:37
#38  
GUEST85214 Guys,Stop this quarell i will tell you something which solves the whole thing WOMEN ARE THE SAME EVERYWHERE,YOU CANT LIVE WITH THEM AND YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT THEM,
END OF STOREY
Dec 23, 2007 05:14
#39  
  • MTBOX2
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I have been on line looking for a companion, mate, or wife. I have enjoyed the the relationship with this Asian lady and I can see the future looks great. I think I have been very clear about what to expect in the US. My attitude comes from when I was in the service in south east asia and saw how we were treated as Americans. Does anyone have any thoughts about marriage to the Cn ladies. Then do seem to be able to get to the brass tax without any trouble and this has been over 6 months.
Is she going to have any problems getting a visa or can we expect certain sets of laws from each country.

mtbox2
Dec 23, 2007 17:35
#40  
GUEST26240 Hello GUYS! My first time here and just read the FIRST PAGE of POSTS on here and I have to agree with 'Al32-Post Number 5'....("DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN, CHINESE or any other!"....I have traveled to over 22 Countries in my Lifetime, lived in New Zealand for 4 years, spent 2 years in Japan and 1 Year in Bahrain, and from MY own personal experience, WOMEN are WOMEN!!! There is NO figuring them out! NO matter what their NATIONALITY is!!! I have many chinese girls/women online friends that I chat with from various backgrounds (such as a News Reporter in Chongquing to a 18 year old in Shandong,etc.). I chat with them all via telephone and webcam. I find chinese girls are the most beautiful among all the countries I have visited!
LeRoy from Texas
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